Chris Christie Continues Humiliating Himself, Allegedly Picks Up Trump’s McDonald’s Orders

No one has played themselves in a more beautifully ironic fashion this election season than New Jersey governor and hopelessly devoted Bruce Springsteen fan Chris Christie, who has mostly abandoned his post as a vindictive, wildly unpopular political bully to serve as Donald Trump’s (and, by extension, the media’s)…

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Chris Christie Vetoes Bill That Would've Kept Domestic Abusers From Having Guns

After a deeply embarrassing try for the presidency, Chris Christie has returned to his job pissing off the people of New Jersey, which he does by utilizing his unique, innate, God-given ability to be a real asshole. On Monday, for the second time, Christie vetoed a bill that would have kept domestic abusers from…

Counterpoint: Chris Christie’s M&M's Strategy Was Correct

Earlier today on this very website, my colleague Sam Biddle referred to a recent photograph of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie pouring a bag of M&Ms into a box of M&Ms as “embarrassing” and inexplicable—an analysis as unfair as it is incorrect. Because in this instance, for what may be the very first time in his…

Joe Biden Demands Donald Trump Release Chris Christie Back Into the Wilds of New Jersey

Joe Biden, the most GIF-able VP we’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, put his patented shit-eating grin to good use at the Gridiron Dinner, a Washington, D.C. roast that gives politicians the opportunity to make each other cry under the pretense of “humor.” In the true spirit of an election year (AKA probably just…

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Sad Chris Christie Refuses to Accept He's Been Friendzoned by America 

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie: just a boy standing in front of a state, pleading with that state to return his calls. The New York Times reports that in a bid to revive his struggling presidential candidacy, he’s launched a charm offensive on the state officials of New Hampshire, conducted mostly by text.

Rand Paul and Chris Christie Will Prepare for Tonight's Debate in Toilet Rooms 

Politico had a beautiful and perfect story late Tuesday about preparations for the next Republican debate, taking place Wednesday night in Boulder, Colorado. Every campaign got a “greenroom” to prepare, or, in the case of Chris Christie and Rand Paul, something that looks a lot like a repurposed toilet. Sometimes…