Chris Christie Refuses to Be Ignored at Next Debate, Will 'Go Nuclear'

Chris Christie—unrequited lover of Bruce Springsteen, Governor of New Jersey, and Republican presidential candidate—has a hungry heart. Ignored during his party’s first presidential debate, he was deprived of the opportunity to tell us his dreams and aspirations. But he won’t be silenced again, oh no. Next time this… »9/01/15 2:36pm9/01/15 2:36pm

First Republican Presidential Forum Was Dull and Bizarre, Naturally

Are you ready for it? Are you ready for the next 461 days of being campaigned at by a pack of desperate losers, flop-sweating in their suits, overtaking your TV, your radio, your mailbox, leaning in too close at your local diner or county fair, corndogs clenched awkwardly in their fists, showing all their teeth in a… »8/04/15 11:45am8/04/15 11:45am

Romney Hosts Chris Christie and Marco Rubio at Deeply Weird Sleepover

In a scene torn straight from your most unsettling sexual nightmares, former presidential candidate Mitt Romney hosted New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Florida Senator Marco Rubio at his house for a sleepover. “It was fun,” Rubio told reporters the next day, while we all shuddered, suddenly chilled to the bone… »7/06/15 10:10am7/06/15 10:10am

Gov. Chris Christie Delivers Speech With Lots of F-Words

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie invoked the spirit of Andrew “Dice” Clay when he delivered a speech brimming with expletives at the New Jersey Legislative Correspondents Club Show on Wednesday evening. The event is an annual fundraising tradition put on by the New Jersey press corps and Christie’s profanity-filled… »5/22/15 11:10am5/22/15 11:10am

Chris Christie Is So, So Proud of Slashing Family Planning Funding 

At the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C. Thursday during an interview with talk radio host Laura Ingraham, Chris Christie tried his best to woo a somewhat tepid crowd of conservative voters who are never, ever, not in a thousand years going to nominate him for president. So Christie rolled… »2/26/15 3:00pm2/26/15 3:00pm

Christie's Not a Straight Talking Regular Guy; He's a Spoiled Asshole

New Jersey governor and presidential thirst-haver Chris Christie is a Man of the People, an image he eagerly reinforces by relentlessly roaming the New Jersey boardwalks, yelling Bruce Springsteen lyrics and occasionally picking fights with his constituents. But a New York Times story today reveals Christie has also… »2/03/15 1:50pm2/03/15 1:50pm

Chris Christie Says Vaccinating Your Kids Should Be a Choice

In remarks that may be too much even for the political party that consistently denies the existence of climate change, Chris Christie says that it's important to strike a "balance" when it comes to vaccinations. Damn, I knew Republicans like to harken back to the 1950s, but bringing back measles as a rite of passage… »2/02/15 9:50am2/02/15 9:50am

Report: Don't Blame Chris Christie, Blame His Right-Hand Woman

According to an internal review, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is free and clear of any charges that he was involved in a high school-style prank to close lanes on the George Washington Bridge. Not cleared: His now-fired deputy chief of staff of intergovernmental affairs Bridget Anne Kelly, who is being thrown… »3/28/14 3:15pm3/28/14 3:15pm

Stop Using the Fast Food Strike to Make Fun of Fat People

Fast food workers in 100 cities went on strike yesterday, agitating for a $15 minimum wage and the right to unionize. It's the latest move in a series of protests that have grown and gained momentum over the past year—a brave, necessary, and unequivocal clarion call for the dignity and humanity of America's low-wage… »12/06/13 7:00pm12/06/13 7:00pm