Another chapter is unfolding in the story of the fraudulent chocolate makers the Mast Brothers, dubbed the “Milli Vanilli of chocolate” for their practices of remelting industrial chocolate and selling it as “bean-to-bar.” In an emo open letter on Tuesday, the bros announced that they’re stepping away from the mean,…
You may have seen, recently, the life-sized Benedict Cumberbatch made of chocolate. Well, the creators left it in a shopping center with cameras to capture the reactions. People actually, ACTUALLY broke off pieces and ate them. Haven’t you weirdos ever heard of germs?
Overpriced Lululemon pants to the left, to the left: chocolate might be as good for your brain (but not necessarily your booty) as exercise is, says science.
Chocolate prices are soaring because Asian markets are in love with the cocoa and the global economy cares nothing about your romantic, reasonably priced Valentine's day gifts.
I have some bad news. The spread of Ebola, the horrific disease that has claimed the lives of nearly 4,000 people in western Africa, has already started to negatively affect the chocolate production. In a way, we're all victims.
Grab your spoons in terror because your delicious spreads are in danger. Danger! From Trader Joe’s recalling their almond butter to Nutella maybe running out of hazelnuts, shit is getting real in the world of toast and late night snacks.
My God. It's all made of chocolate. Look at it. Look at it, everyone.
Hey, laaaaaaaaaaadies! Cambridge University has announced that they're seeking a "doctor of chocolate" to spend three and a half years studying the unique physical properties of everyone's favorite gooey and weirdly gendered bean cake. FINALLY! A way to get women interested in STEM…
It's been definitively proven on this very site that nothing is better than sex, not even chocolate. But for old people, that might not be the case. A new study has found that chocolate might make them harder, better, faster stronger – at least in the brain.
You can now get beers that taste like anything — ok, well, mainly bacon, but still, the craft beer market has recently exploded (all over your face in an array of tasty flavors), and Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter combines chocolate and peanut butter with booze and is it legal to marry a beer now?
Just when you thought the FBI, NSA and Verizon-teamed privacy infringement was the most egregious overstepping of The Man on citizens' rights, Nestlé, Mars and Hershey manufacturers in Canada have apparently been conspiring to fix the price of their chocolate products.
Vice President Joe Biden and an intrepid second-grader have joined forces to reform gun control based on one simple platform: chocolate bullets.
The majority of us, I would guess, live fairly upstanding lives. We wake up, go to work, pay taxes, say 'please' and 'thank you' and, most of the time, that probably works out quite well for us. But then — every so often — we hear a story about someone who steps off the straight and narrow, ignores the mores of…
America's largest purveyors of fine Easter chocolates think you're dumb, so dumb, in fact, that they think a green label on a pack of M&Ms will trick you into thinking that those M&Ms are somehow good for you. Or at least better for you than other candy-coated chocolates.
Dove Chocolate advertising masterminds Fred Armisen and Bill Hader want to know: are you more likely to tamp some Dove chocolates down your food pipe if a serene white lady is telling you to do it? Or would you rather have Kevin Hart shout chocolate endorsements at you while you watch molten chocolate being drizzled…
Chocolate is lady-crack, if advertisements are to be believed. But the women who grow the cocoa that feeds the masses are not having similar mouth orgasms; instead, they're paid much less than their male colleagues and face discrimination in the workplace, in addition to hunger and poverty.
We get it, Belgium! You love chocolate more than anyone else; you win! God.
It turns out, great chocolatiers aren't banished to Belgium any longer, they're popping up all over! It's making chocolate more of an International game, and I do not hate the player and I do not hate the game. The more chocolate competition, the better for us all and our ever-growing sexxxy rear ends.
With the Nobel Prize ceremony now a few days behind us, it might be worth asking, "Where the fuck do all these smart-ass people come from?" I mean, I certainly don't know any Nobel-caliber people. Do you? Don't lie to everyone — it's unseemly. Of course you don't know any Nobel winners, and, if you don't start hanging…
If we've learned anything from Cathy comics and the silly t-shirts of your office HR rep, it's that women love chocolate. We love chocolate so much that we want to eat it with everything. We want to eat instead of everything. You know when you're like "I'd kill for some chocolate right now," and everyone laughs…