This Beer Smells and Tastes Like a Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup

You can now get beers that taste like anything — ok, well, mainly bacon, but still, the craft beer market has recently exploded (all over your face in an array of tasty flavors), and Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter combines chocolate and peanut butter with booze and is it legal to marry a beer now? » 6/27/13 11:45am 6/27/13 11:45am

Genius Thieves Steal 5 Metric Tons of Nutella

The majority of us, I would guess, live fairly upstanding lives. We wake up, go to work, pay taxes, say 'please' and 'thank you' and, most of the time, that probably works out quite well for us. But then — every so often — we hear a story about someone who steps off the straight and narrow, ignores the mores of… » 4/09/13 10:25am 4/09/13 10:25am

Dove Chocolate Wants to Know If This Voiceover Sounds Ridiculous When…

Dove Chocolate advertising masterminds Fred Armisen and Bill Hader want to know: are you more likely to tamp some Dove chocolates down your food pipe if a serene white lady is telling you to do it? Or would you rather have Kevin Hart shout chocolate endorsements at you while you watch molten chocolate being drizzled… » 3/03/13 12:00pm 3/03/13 12:00pm

Important Questions Answered: Is Belgium Still the Chocolate Capital of…

It turns out, great chocolatiers aren't banished to Belgium any longer, they're popping up all over! It's making chocolate more of an International game, and I do not hate the player and I do not hate the game. The more chocolate competition, the better for us all and our ever-growing sexxxy rear ends. » 12/31/12 10:50am 12/31/12 10:50am

Chocolate Is Clearly the Preferred Treat of Geniuses the World Over

With the Nobel Prize ceremony now a few days behind us, it might be worth asking, "Where the fuck do all these smart-ass people come from?" I mean, I certainly don't know any Nobel-caliber people. Do you? Don't lie to everyone — it's unseemly. Of course you don't know any Nobel winners, and, if you don't start hanging… » 10/11/12 12:45pm 10/11/12 12:45pm

Cadbury Makes Special Chocolate for Women, Because Ladies Love…

If we've learned anything from Cathy comics and the silly t-shirts of your office HR rep, it's that women love chocolate. We love chocolate so much that we want to eat it with everything. We want to eat instead of everything. You know when you're like "I'd kill for some chocolate right now," and everyone laughs… » 10/03/12 4:05pm 10/03/12 4:05pm

It’s Sort of Official: Chocolate Is a Highly Addictive Drug

Think about how less depressing and oh-my-god-I-want-to-rinse-my-eyes-out-with-oven-cleaner Requiem for a Dream would have been if all the main characters were addicted to Russell Stover box chocolates and, instead of wanting to open a coffee shop, wanted to save up for a blow-out trip to Hershey Park. If Darren… » 9/21/12 10:30am 9/21/12 10:30am

Meet the Jedi of Handmade Chocolate, Patricia Tsai

Fantastically good chocolate, chocolate that resonates all the way back to our primal roots, chocolate that feeds body, mind and soul: Patricia Tsai's stone-ground, minimally processed chocolate embodies a journey from Mexican cocoa farm to urban America, and from a corporate cubicle to her ChocoVivo storefront… » 9/06/12 11:59am 9/06/12 11:59am

Genius Black Bear Cures Chocolate Cravings With a Little Breaking and…

After finding an out-of-place chocolate tin and a little bit of dirt on the store's countertop, Jo Adams, owner of a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory franchise in Estes Park, Colorado, suspected that a squirrel had managed to get into her shop overnight. Upon viewing the security footage, however, Jo discovered that… » 8/08/12 12:10pm 8/08/12 12:10pm

Hey Ladies: Was Your Sweet, Sweet Chocolate the Product of Child Labor?…

Bad news for ladies who love chocolate but also possess a basic code of ethics. Nestlé, after recently undergoing an investigation by the Fair Labor Association (FLA), have been accused of utilizing child labor in their cocoa-supply chain, which is a violation of the company's own supplier code. » 7/02/12 11:10am 7/02/12 11:10am

All Your Food Is Full of Bugs. There Are Bugs in Your Mouth Right Now.

Between pink slime and beaver anuses and dead-bug frappuccinos and sawdust burgers, over the past couple of weeks I've learned some life-changing lessons about food. Specifically: Food is bad for you. Never ever eat food. So I'm doing this new cleanse right now where for every meal you just eat 3/4 cup of frozen air… » 4/03/12 10:00am 4/03/12 10:00am

March Madness: Is This What You Thought The Final Four Would Look Like?

We've come so far. 15 days ago, 32 brave warriors entered the arena. Sixteen sexy sex positions. Sixteen scrumptious chocolate confections. Today, only four are left… And Monday, the Best Type of Sex will have a showcase showdown against The Best Type of Chocolate. There can only be one winner. Will it be sex or… » 3/30/12 3:40pm 3/30/12 3:40pm