One Million Moms Protests Chobani's Sinful Lesbian Yogurt

If there’s one thing God hates, it’s sin. And if there are two things God hates, it’s sin and yogurt. And if there are three things that grind His gears, it’s sin, yogurt, and steamy, sensual lesbians feeding each other Satan’s own fermented lactobacillus bulgarius. Who, O Lord, will speak for the righteous, hetero,… » 6/17/15 11:10pm 6/17/15 11:10pm

Oh No, Ladies: Chobani Greek Yogurt Linked to 89 Reports of Illness

Since Jezebel is a site for ladies and things ladies like, and since yogurt is the number one thing ladies like/want/see/eat/do/rub all over ourselves/others, I suppose we should talk about how a bunch of Chobani Greek yogurt manufactured in Twin Falls, Idaho has made 89 people ill with nausea and cramps. DAMMIT… » 9/10/13 9:30pm 9/10/13 9:30pm

Meet the Foods That Are Trying to Murder You This Weekend

Food is good, except when it’s BAD, as in stabby-stab-stab in your pancreas and colon bad. Some foods have been masquerading as good, when in fact they are murderous psychopaths, determined to trick you to ingesting them so they can perforate your internal organs. The safe eater is the paranoid and over-informed… » 9/07/13 2:30pm 9/07/13 2:30pm

New Fancy Yogurt Cafe Makes Me Feel So Many Things

It was only a matter of time before our nation's irritating obsession with yogurt led to this: the new Chobani SoHo cafe, which has apparently quite successfully turned yogurt into a desirable designer product. "Pretty young things who like the white stuff have flocked there to gobble down fancifully topped, $4.25… » 9/26/12 4:00pm 9/26/12 4:00pm