43 Chipotles Shut Down After E. Coli Outbreak, But I'm Still Willing to Risk It

Chipotle, my favorite restaurant, has voluntarily shuttered 43 of its locations in Washington and Oregon this week amidst news of an E. coli outbreak that’s made at least 22 of my spiritual brothers and sisters sick. The New York Times reports the “infection affected people who ate at [my favorite restaurant] between… »11/02/15 1:35pm11/02/15 1:35pm

Qdoba Unveils 'the Quentessa,' a Hot, Imaginary Woman Who Loves Qdoba

Qdoba is tired of playing second fiddle to Chipotle in the world of Fresh-Mex chain restaurants, so they came up with an unusual marketing tactic. She is called the Quentessa, and she’s a hot fantasy woman who is essentially Qdoba’s ideal customer. According to, Quentessa is derived from Latin roots… »10/12/15 9:30pm10/12/15 9:30pm

Chipotle Unveils What Exactly is in Their Guacamole

Chipotle has been having quite a year. The chain restaurant known for making burritos the size of a newborn child has already been the center of hype surrounding a presidential campaign, was the scene of an actress’ deception and just last week announced plans to stop using GMOs. Now, these rapscallions are trying to… »5/03/15 7:15pm5/03/15 7:15pm

Genius Gina Rodriguez Once Faked a Pregnancy To Skip a Chipotle Line

There are plenty of ways to hack your Chipotle experience. You could order a veggie burrito to get free guacamole, ask for free tortillas or taco shells on the side if you order a bowl, or get the infamous quesarito and make everyone behind you mad. But all of those are stomach-related tricks, and will do nothing to… »4/24/15 4:10pm4/24/15 4:10pm