My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

On Monday, according to WLWT, three former managers at a Cincinnati-area Chipotle won a gender discrimination lawsuit against the company, which is really having a banner year.

“Here the people rule,” said Gerald Ford after the fall of Nixon, as well as Jia Tolentino after the fall of Chipotle-based E. coli. I am proud of all of us for making it through such a trying time, and I am glad that I will not have to die for Chipotle, though my point still stands; I’d do it.

Chipotle, the fast-food restaurant that will probably kill Jezebel editor Jia Tolentino (RIP Jia), is having a very bad year. First it poisoned hundreds of unsuspecting lovers of cool, casual food with E. coli and now it’s facing a gender discrimination lawsuit.

Today, on this website, my colleague Jia Tolentino wrote that she will continue eating Chipotle “until it fucking kills her.” Theoretically, I wish I loved anything as much as Jia Tolentino claims to love Chipotle. But in practice, I really don’t, because Jia Tolentino is tripping her balls off. Chipotle’s food is…

Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always…

Chipotle has temporarily closed several of its locations across the country due to E. coli outbreaks over the past few months. Soon, the company will be shutting all of them down for one day. Let us pray.

Uh oh. It seems our our blessed Church of Chipotle has gone astray and lost itself in the mire of legal entanglements. On January 8 the company was issued a lawsuit for apparently concealing “flawed quality controls to investors.”

Chipotle started off 2015 with a bang. Earlier this year, the fresh-Mex chain got some fame after Hillary Clinton decided to stop there for lunch, then it gave its hourly employees paid leave and sick time, and finally, it publicly revealed the recipe for their infamous gauc. Sadly, Chipotle may be ending the year on…

Remember when Chipotle shut down 43 restaurants in Oregon and Washington earlier this month because of an E. coli outbreak? Well I hate to break it to you, my brothers and sisters of the burrito bowl, but it’s gotten a whole lot worse.

Chipotle, my favorite restaurant, has voluntarily shuttered 43 of its locations in Washington and Oregon this week amidst news of an E. coli outbreak that’s made at least 22 of my spiritual brothers and sisters sick. The New York Times reports the “infection affected people who ate at [my favorite restaurant] between…

Qdoba is tired of playing second fiddle to Chipotle in the world of Fresh-Mex chain restaurants, so they came up with an unusual marketing tactic. She is called the Quentessa, and she’s a hot fantasy woman who is essentially Qdoba’s ideal customer. According to babynamespedia.com, Quentessa is derived from Latin roots…

A fact about Chipotle—which, along with Clickhole, is the only American institution that retains my trust—is that the company uses over 800,000 tortillas per day. (Numbers like that really put life in perspective, as well as the fact that, usually, only one of those tortillas is for me.)

On Friday, Chipotle announced they’d soon be offering sick days, paid vacation, and tuition reimbursement for all employees—not just salaried workers.

Here’s the thing about nature: It will fuck up your shit.

Chipotle has been having quite a year. The chain restaurant known for making burritos the size of a newborn child has already been the center of hype surrounding a presidential campaign, was the scene of an actress’ deception and just last week announced plans to stop using GMOs. Now, these rapscallions are trying to…