On Wednesday, the National Institutes of Health announced it would finally send the remaining research chimpanzees into retirement as soon as room opens up in a federal sanctuary.
This summer's hottest accessory is a single piece of grass shoved into your ear canal at a jaunty and carefree angle. Ok, fine, this is only a trend among a specific troop of chimpanzees in Zambia, but it could catch on. You never know. I mean, if wedge sneakers can become a thing, anything is possible.
It turns out that herpes simplex virus 2—the penis/vagina/butthole kind with which 25 percent of American humans are currently infected—is a result of some ancient bestiality between our ancestors and chimpanzees, which lends a whole new meaning to "hot monkey love."
Ugh, is there any more frustrating childhood cliche than "Well, life isn't fair"? When you're trying to tell your mom about something that totally seriously is not fair, like how she loaned your VHS of Beauty and the Beast to the neighbor kid whose parents were getting divorced and then they moved away and now you'll…
Ayumu is an 11-year-old chimpanzee raised at Kyoto University in Japan. He is also a total braniac that can solve difficult numerical puzzles in 60 milliseconds. Oh, boy. This is how Rise of the Planet of the Apes starts, isn't it?
Chimp Prodigy Can Solve Memory Puzzle In 60 Milliseconds [Buzzfeed]
Researches have observed that wild young female chimps , when playing with sticks, used them as "dolls" more often than the males, who mostly used them as weapons. Previously, this type of gendered play was thought to be limited to humans.
"I can tell you exactly when we knew," says Carole Noon's sister of her love of animals. "When the Tramp got carried to jail... we had to carry her out of the theater." [NY Times]
Leaving aside the strangeness of a research project that involves watching monkeys fucking all day, scientists studying chimpanzees in Uganda have made the interesting discovery that our closest animal relatives know when to be discreet about their sex lives. Although female chimps will advertise that they're in…