Study: Time Spent with Your Kid Means Less Than Quality of The Hang

Apparently American parents spend more time with their kids than any other parents in any other country. I for sure thought Swedish parents - with their endless maternity and paternity leave - would win the parental hang time race but the Washington Post attests to American exceptionalism. Rah rah. So how come… » 3/29/15 5:30pm Sunday 5:30pm

Everything You Need to Consider Before Having Another Child

In many ways, deciding whether to have another child is even harder than deciding on having the first one. It's a lot more complex than asking "Do we want more children and do we have enough money? Okay, go!" Adding another child is almost like creating a whole new family again. Here are some things you should… » 3/20/15 2:42pm 3/20/15 2:42pm

Lawmaker Manages to Make Bill Written By Fourth Graders About Abortion

A passel of New Hampshire fourth-graders are a little more cynical about government today, after watching state legislators shoot down their bill to anoint the Red Tail Hawk as New Hampshire State Raptor. That'll teach you to think you can change anything, kiddos! » 3/20/15 10:10am 3/20/15 10:10am

​How to Love Your Kid Without Telling Her She Is Special

You think your kid is special? Of course she is. She is a unique combination of two unique individuals with her own unique personality, unique fingerprints, and unique theories about the world. Just don't go telling her that unless you want to raise a big ol' jerk. » 3/14/15 4:30pm 3/14/15 4:30pm

Indiana Could Approve "Baby Boxes" For Abandoned Newborns 

Indiana could be the first state to approve so-called "baby boxes" for abandoned newborns. The boxes look a bit like bread boxes, but are actually incubators meant to keep a newborn alive until it can be recovered. The boxes would also include an alarm that, once pressed, would alert first responders. » 2/28/15 11:45am 2/28/15 11:45am

Watch Run The Jewels Ask Children About a Woman President, Their Moms

Run the Jewels have had an excellent year: the powerhouse rap/production duo of Killer Mike and El-P dropped Run the Jewels 2 in October and it topped many a critic's best of 2014 list. They also appeared on Letterman, dropped a trippy video, and gave salient dating advice to teenagers. » 2/04/15 2:50pm 2/04/15 2:50pm

CPS Threatens to Take Kids Because Parents Let Them Walk Home Alone

Another day, another set of parents investigated for letting their kids walk home from a nearby park. And this time, letting your 10-year-old walk home with his six-year-old sister has an official name: Free-range parenting. » 1/16/15 7:20pm 1/16/15 7:20pm

Canadian Scientists Did Psychic Experiments on First Nations Kids 

A paper from 1943 unearthed recently in the Canadian national archives reveals that a quack scientist tested children at the Brandon Indian Residential School in Manitoba for psychic abilities. The children were already being used as test subjects in medical "experiments" as well as nutritional ones, which mainly… » 1/16/15 5:20pm 1/16/15 5:20pm

How to Get Rid of 'Mommy Guilt' (or Daddy Guilt) Once and For All

The moment your new baby comes into your arms, a whole new set of emotions rushes in—pride, joy, wonderment, fear, and, yes, guilt. Because everything you do or don't do as a guardian of this child is all your fault forevermore. » 1/15/15 2:49pm 1/15/15 2:49pm

Netflix Is Using a Fake New Year's Eve Countdown to Trick Kids

Children have a tendency to fall asleep on New Year's Eve way before midnight. Most will make an attempt to ring in 2015, but they can't hang because—as we all know—they lack the necessary dedication. Netflix has a solution: parents can now savor the last moments of 2014 in drunken peace. » 12/31/14 12:10pm 12/31/14 12:10pm

Three-Year-Old Takes 677 Selfies in a Row Because This Is Life Now

Imagine you're a parent with a charming 3-year-old. From time to time, you allow said child to hold your phone and play with it because it's either that or listen to a screaming 3-year-old cry because they want to play with your phone. Imagine now that after you give your phone to your lovely child you discover she… » 12/16/14 10:55pm 12/16/14 10:55pm

Angry Little Girl Is Done With Deadbeat Tooth Fairy's Lazy Bullshit

Here's how losing your teeth works: You pull the thing out of your mouth you get a dollar for it. You pull another one, you get another dollar. A good month can see you bringing in up to 5, maybe even six big ones in pure profit. But sometimes the tooth fairy is a lazy sack of poop that doesn't want to do their job.… » 12/16/14 7:00pm 12/16/14 7:00pm

This Is How Porn Affects the Children of Adult Film Actors

If you've ever wondered what happens to porn actors as their career progresses, you've also probably wondered what it's like when they choose to have children. How does porn, especially now that it's all over the internet affect kids growing up in the shadow of their parents' line of work? Most kids, it turns out, are… » 12/11/14 4:50pm 12/11/14 4:50pm

The Cost of Having Children Will Only Get More Absurd

Most people paying attention to the economy concern themselves with the jobs report, which (at least this month) looks somewhat promising. But while having a job to support your family matters a great deal, what also matters is how much you're not actually going to be able to afford things for your family with the… » 12/03/14 6:10pm 12/03/14 6:10pm

Little Girl Watches Russian Cartoon Dubbed With Actual Porn

Happy Thanksgiving! Here is a Russian cartoon that was inexplicably dubbed with Sasha Grey's moans. And here is a horrified child watching it. Welcome to Russia! Please enjoy your stay. » 11/27/14 3:13pm 11/27/14 3:13pm

Face: Women With Kids More Productive Than Literally Everyone

In news you have always intuitively understood to be indisputable but knew was routinely dismissed, ignored, or downplayed because of raging sexism, it turns out that women who have kids — at least two — are more productive than literally everyone who has ever existed. In other news: FACE. » 11/09/14 2:00pm 11/09/14 2:00pm

Kids Wait Hours to Meet Elsa, Get Angry George Washington Instead

If there's one thing that makes childhood magical (aside from being able to shit yourself and having someone else clean it up), it's meeting your favorite Disney characters for the first time. But sometimes those characters disappoint. And sometimes disappointment's not even the correct word. Sometimes it's just a… » 8/06/14 6:40pm 8/06/14 6:40pm

Watch Two Straight Minutes of Children Swearing in Movies

Because it is Friday, here (via Digg) is a mashup of children swearing in movies. (Some of them are teens, which is a cheat, but we'll overlook that minor sin.) As someone who was recently called out in a wedding toast for teaching her 8-year-old brother how to curse (YOU'RE WELCOME, WILLIAM), I approve. » 7/18/14 5:00pm 7/18/14 5:00pm