Indiana Could Approve "Baby Boxes" For Abandoned Newborns 

Indiana could be the first state to approve so-called "baby boxes" for abandoned newborns. The boxes look a bit like bread boxes, but are actually incubators meant to keep a newborn alive until it can be recovered. The boxes would also include an alarm that, once pressed, would alert first responders. » 2/28/15 11:45am Saturday 11:45am

Watch Run The Jewels Ask Children About a Woman President, Their Moms

Run the Jewels have had an excellent year: the powerhouse rap/production duo of Killer Mike and El-P dropped Run the Jewels 2 in October and it topped many a critic's best of 2014 list. They also appeared on Letterman, dropped a trippy video, and gave salient dating advice to teenagers. » 2/04/15 2:50pm 2/04/15 2:50pm

Canadian Scientists Did Psychic Experiments on First Nations Kids 

A paper from 1943 unearthed recently in the Canadian national archives reveals that a quack scientist tested children at the Brandon Indian Residential School in Manitoba for psychic abilities. The children were already being used as test subjects in medical "experiments" as well as nutritional ones, which mainly… » 1/16/15 5:20pm 1/16/15 5:20pm

Three-Year-Old Takes 677 Selfies in a Row Because This Is Life Now

Imagine you're a parent with a charming 3-year-old. From time to time, you allow said child to hold your phone and play with it because it's either that or listen to a screaming 3-year-old cry because they want to play with your phone. Imagine now that after you give your phone to your lovely child you discover she… » 12/16/14 10:55pm 12/16/14 10:55pm

Angry Little Girl Is Done With Deadbeat Tooth Fairy's Lazy Bullshit

Here's how losing your teeth works: You pull the thing out of your mouth you get a dollar for it. You pull another one, you get another dollar. A good month can see you bringing in up to 5, maybe even six big ones in pure profit. But sometimes the tooth fairy is a lazy sack of poop that doesn't want to do their job.… » 12/16/14 7:00pm 12/16/14 7:00pm

This Is How Porn Affects the Children of Adult Film Actors

If you've ever wondered what happens to porn actors as their career progresses, you've also probably wondered what it's like when they choose to have children. How does porn, especially now that it's all over the internet affect kids growing up in the shadow of their parents' line of work? Most kids, it turns out, are… » 12/11/14 4:50pm 12/11/14 4:50pm

The Cost of Having Children Will Only Get More Absurd

Most people paying attention to the economy concern themselves with the jobs report, which (at least this month) looks somewhat promising. But while having a job to support your family matters a great deal, what also matters is how much you're not actually going to be able to afford things for your family with the… » 12/03/14 6:10pm 12/03/14 6:10pm

Kids Wait Hours to Meet Elsa, Get Angry George Washington Instead

If there's one thing that makes childhood magical (aside from being able to shit yourself and having someone else clean it up), it's meeting your favorite Disney characters for the first time. But sometimes those characters disappoint. And sometimes disappointment's not even the correct word. Sometimes it's just a… » 8/06/14 6:40pm 8/06/14 6:40pm

Watch Two Straight Minutes of Children Swearing in Movies

Because it is Friday, here (via Digg) is a mashup of children swearing in movies. (Some of them are teens, which is a cheat, but we'll overlook that minor sin.) As someone who was recently called out in a wedding toast for teaching her 8-year-old brother how to curse (YOU'RE WELCOME, WILLIAM), I approve. » 7/18/14 5:00pm 7/18/14 5:00pm

Letting a Child Pick Her Sippy Cup Color Will Not Destroy Society

Apparently, there is a crisis in modern parenting. It's not that there's no paid parental leave, affordable daycare, or better-funded public schools, it's that parents are letting their children pick their own Sippy cup color, directly contributing to the utter squalor that is Modern Society. Oh No. What Will We Do. » 7/15/14 2:00pm 7/15/14 2:00pm

Lies I Tell My Toddler

All parents lie. My parents, your parents, your grandparents, me, and, if you're a parent, you. This is not, as our teenage selves suspect, due to any malicious desire to manipulate and deceive. Lying to our children is a goodamn necessity to make every day existence not only a harmonious as possible, but bearable. To… » 7/09/14 8:59pm 7/09/14 8:59pm

Police Arrest Mother Who Abandoned Baby on Subway Platform

Police arrested 20-year-old Frankea Dabbs on abandonment charges after she purposely left her seven-month-old daughter in her stroller on a subway platform at Columbus Circle Monday. Dabbs was spotted on the Upper West Side around midnight Tuesday by someone who recognized her from security footage released by… » 7/08/14 10:56pm 7/08/14 10:56pm