When I was 10 years old, I knew both very little about sex and also more than I should have. I hadn’t had “the talk” with my parents yet, and sex hadn’t been covered in school. But I knew that the general idea of sex meant a penis going inside a vagina—my world, as is true for the majority of kids in America, was very…
I'm going to start with the story of how I learned that Santa didn't exist. It's not a happy story, as these types of stories generally aren't, but I'm laughing about it now. And I hope that the people whose stories were compiled into a list of painful revelations on Buzzfeed are laughing too. Or at least have a good…
By now you likely have encountered this thing, currently wending its way across the internet. In short, the story goes that the guy—a redditor (of course) known as thr111—spited the whiny, out-of-control child and distracted, defensive mother behind him in line at Burger King by purchasing every pie left in the…
Do you want to terrorize young, unsuspecting children when they are at their happiest? Follow this video as a guide!
Goddammit, child abduction isn't funny!
Some of today's biggest names in the romance novel business took a break from writing about down-and-dirty sex with "forbidden" lovers to share some sweet memories of childhood. Awww.
If you have been on the Internet in the past few weeks, it's likely been brought to your attention that Barbie, a little hunk of plastic shaped like a woman with synthetic hair on it, appeared in Sports Illustrated. Many feminists see this unholy union as a perfect reification of the problems with both crumbling…
"This place is three floors? Oh my God," a wide-eyed dad let slip after taking a quick pic of his gleeful daughter. "Holy cow," he added a moment later, still unable to process what he'd gotten himself into. Clearly someone had not been properly prepared for the sublime majesty of the Fifth Avenue American Girl Place.
There's a penis on my backpack. A real one. I need to go to school but there's this large, black penis lazily resting on my backpack and really don't know what to do. I am 12, kneeled down in front of this penis like I'm examining a strange leaf or perhaps a weird mushroom. I hesitantly reach for my pink backpack…
Yes, yes, mustaches. I get it. You're growing a mustache. It's for charity. Charity is good, men's health is good. And it's November. Movember. Yes. What you did there, I see it.
Today, during a soccer game, a kid on the opposing team made fun of my four year old daughter's 'boy' shoes. I am so sick of this shit I could scream. It is crazy to me that people actually say, actually believe it's "natural" for girls "want" pink stuff. My God, I'm honestly surprised my daughter has stuck with her…
Nothing says "I've resigned myself to all the dreary bits of adulthood; never again will I gurgle with childish joy at some delightful sight in nature; there is no such thing as magic" quite as clearly as the decision to make oneself a LinkedIn.
It is each generation's hope that the next will do better. But a new study claims that your financial status while growing up affects you for life — which explains why some people make impulsive purchases even when the economy is bad.
Once you get some chronological and emotional distance from the arbitrary cruelty of middle school, it's easy to write off your tormentors because these days they're posting Facebook selfies of themselves drinking sizzurp as their toddler watches Caillou in the background. But that shit, in real time, was rough.
I was deemed hopelessly unathletic by a jury of elementary schoolers when I was six years old — before I ever had a chance to learn how to kick or dribble or catch — because I was the tiniest girl in my class. I'll never forget how it felt to be picked last by my peers during P.E., day after day, year after year, the…
Ah, childhood. A time of youthful innocence, and the glory of first experiences. Your first day of school, your first BFFs, and your first schoolyard blow job. Record scratch.
People always talk about high school being this caustic bog of despair that ruins lives and haunts adolescence, but that's clearly because they've developed selective amnesia to block out the FUCKING HELLSCAPE that is middle school. Nobody talks about middle school much. I mean, it's right in the name—"middle"…
Today, October 11, 2012, heralds the first International Day of the Girl Child, which the United Nations Population Fund, working in concert with VII Photo, will observe with an exhibition at the United Nations Headquarters in New York featuring photography and video productions from Jessica Dimmock and Stephanie…
Today in bleeeeeeeeuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgh, a new study in the journal Sex Roles suggests that girls as young as six years old are concerned with appearing "sexy." As in, sexually attractive. To other people. With their bodies. In public. At the risk of getting all preachy about "the children," I'd like to invite you all to…
