Child Beauty Pageant Makes Contestants Prove They're Actually Latina

Child beauty pageants are fucked up enough without adding a weird racial dimension to them, but if you're going to be terrible, you might as well be all-the-way terrible, right? The Little Miss Hispanic Delaware pageant — which exists because apparently the world doesn't mess with little girls' brains enough as-is —… » 10/23/13 2:40pm 10/23/13 2:40pm

French Government Trying to Ban Child Beauty Pageants

A bill seeking to outlaw child beauty pageants—arguing that they hypersexualize minors—has passed in the French Senate 196 to 146 votes. If the bill is passed by the National Assembly it will officially become law, leaving hordes of purposeless stage mères to drift the narrow French lanes in feral packs, hawking used… » 9/18/13 6:00pm 9/18/13 6:00pm

I Entered My Baby in a Beauty Pageant and Lost My Mind

"Her!? She's ugly!" I didn't say that aloud, thankfully. But I thought it—about a baby. What a horrible thing to think about an infant, even if it's totally true. Oh, how far I'd fallen from my lofty position of being "above it all," only to land in a stackable banquet chair in the ballroom of an airport hotel in Hartford, … » 10/02/12 4:00pm 10/02/12 4:00pm

Toddlers & Tiaras Parents Divorce Over Pageant Costs

When Tricia and her daughter SammiJo were first featured on an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras last year, she and her husband fought in front of the cameras about money. He believed that the estimated $100,000 that they'd spent on pageants was a waste. Oddly, he had included the expense of his wife's "boob job" into that… » 4/18/12 6:20pm 4/18/12 6:20pm

Pageant Moms Chided for Inane Facebook Feud

On last night's episode of T&T, there was a lot of bad blood between two moms whose young daughters (Gabby and Alaska) often compete in the same age division of the same pageants. On camera, they repeatedly made barbed comments each other—about Alaska's mom's missing teeth, bitchy judgement about the color of a Gabby's … » 4/12/12 1:30pm 4/12/12 1:30pm

How to Give an 8-Year-Old an Eating Disorder

On last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, one pageant mom admitted that she regularly puts her 8-year-old daughter Ever Rose on a calorie-counting diet leading up to competitions. There's nothing wrong with teaching your kid about making healthy food choices, but making a little girl so aware of her weight and… » 1/26/12 12:35pm 1/26/12 12:35pm

My Best Friend Was on Freaking Toddlers & Tiaras

Last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras was extra special because this particular episode featured "one of us." Rich Juzwiak—co-creator of Pot Psychology and owner of Winston the cat—was asked to judge the Universal Royalty Hollywood pageant, so he donned a tux and became something of a Greek chorus for the reality… » 1/19/12 1:15pm 1/19/12 1:15pm

Pageant Kid Succinctly Sums Up Our Feelings About Alcohol

Following Toddlers & Tiaras for the past few seasons, we know that pageant moms give their kids Pixy Stix and even Red Bull to pump up their energy, but none of the little beauty queens ever seemed to really have an understanding about their forced relationship with mood altering substances—until last night's episode.… » 1/05/12 3:20pm 1/05/12 3:20pm

6-Year-Old Beauty Queen Retires From Pageants To Pursue Superstardom

This morning, Toddlers & Tiaras star Eden Wood and her mother Mickie appeared on GMA to announce that 6-year-old Eden is leaving the pageant world behind to pursue greener (as in, more lucrative) pastures, which evidently means entertaining crowds at shopping malls across the country, recording a song aimed at her… » 7/13/11 4:40pm 7/13/11 4:40pm

Toddlers & Tiaras: Introducing A Child Pageant Doll

On last night's episode, pageant—and talk show—veteran, 4-year-old Eden and her stage mom Mickie, together with their manager, developed an Eden doll, based on Eden's Vegas showgirl costume. They've deluded themselves into thinking this is a smash hit. » 2/18/10 8:00pm 2/18/10 8:00pm