Chrissy Teigen Takes a Stand Against Gazpacho
In today’s Tweet Beat, Chrissy Teigen expresses an opinion, Chelsea Clinton has a baby and Olivia Wilde is as lazy as us all.
There Is Another Clinton In the World
Welcome, Aidan Clinton Mezvinsky. It is a wonderful thing that by the time you have outside awareness of the world, this election season will be over.
Is This Chelsea Clinton's Real Father?
If you’ve been even vaguely tuned in to the overactive Hillary Clinton conspiracy mill over the years, you’ve likely heard about the questions of Chelsea Clinton’s paternity. But for those who haven’t, here’s how this song goes: Bill Clinton is sterile, and Chelsea’s real father is Clinton confidant and federal tax…
Chelsea Clinton's Husband Fucked Up
Marc Mezvinsky, husband to Chelsea Clinton and occasionally successful hedge fund manager, thought it would be a good idea to bet on the Greek economy a few years ago. But unfortunately for him and the rest of his firm, it was not. Mr. Chelsea Clinton has fucked up.
Congrats to the Clintons on Their Next Presidential Candidate!
On Monday, Chelsea Clinton announced on Twitter that she is expecting her second child next summer. Hillary Clinton responded to the announcement with her own well wishes, which she may or may not have learned about on social media.
5-Year-Old Chelsea Clinton Wrote Letter to President Reagan Urging Him Not to Visit Nazi Graves
When Chelsea Clinton was 5-years-old she was not eating dirt like us, normal people. Instead, she was writing letters to world leaders advising them on their diplomatic trips.
National Enquirer: Bill Clinton Probably Isn't Chelsea’s Biological Dad
Chelsea Clinton has recently “undergone a DNA test” and it’s proven that she might not be Bill Clinton’s biological daughter. Before you start screaming after realizing you care more about the paternity of Chelsea Clinton more than you ever thought possible, please keep in mind that this story was broken by The…
Chelsea Clinton Is Wrecking Havoc at the Clinton Foundation
With a name like Chelsea Clinton, you’d think that working at the Clinton Foundation would be a cakewalk—maybe popping in on Fridays with bagels and a friendly wave; approving office supply orders while you browse on Amazon; unlimited Seamless. That fantasy might actually exist, according to reports that Chelsea seems…
Malia Obama, Rap Tastemaker, Might Attend College in New York City
Malia Obama, known 90s rap enthusiast and Joey Badass fan, is looking at universities this week—and cool New Yorkers who work very hard at being cool and calm are losing their shit because she's undergraduate shopping in the Big Apple.
Bristol Palin Makes An Excellent Point: 'It Wasn't Chelsea Clinton'
Recently, I compared the memoirs of Bristol Palin and Malala Yousafzai on this site and many commenters claimed it was an unfair matchup. They said every young women would fail in comparison to the 17-year old Nobel Peace Prize winner (true) and that Bristol never held herself up for such scrutiny (debatable).
Chelsea Clinton Gives Birth to a Baby Girl
Early this morning, Chelsea Clinton announced that she and husband Marc Mezvinsky welcomed a baby girl last night! Welcome Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky!
Chelsea Clinton is leaving her job at NBC, as she explains, "to continue focusing on my work at the Clinton Foundation and as Marc and I look forward to welcoming our first child." Chelsea originally earned a reported salary of $600,000 a year and mostly did "feel-good" stories about feel-good people.
RuPaul Gives the Best Advice
In today's Tweet Beat, RuPaul keeps all of our lives on track, Bill Clinton celebrates his 68th year on Earth and Juicy J knows exactly what's up.
Sarah Palin: Hillary Clinton Should 'Open Her Eyes' About Abortion
Sarah Palin thinks that now that Chelsea Clinton is pregnant, her mom Hillary might change her stance on abortion. Sarah Palin is doing her thinking these days on Extra.
Meet the Press Ponders Whether a Grandma Can Run for President
On yesterday's special Easter 420 edition of Meet the Press, host David Gregory continued to harp on the bored pundit nonquestion of whether or not the birth of Hillary Clinton's grandchild will impact her decision to run or not run for President in 2016. Unfortunately, no one had the stones to respond, "I don't know,…
People Are Seriously Asking If Hillary Can Be President and a Grandma
Yesterday, Chelsea Clinton announced that she's pregnant. And then, like clockwork, "HOW WILL HILLARY'S DAUGHTER'S PREGNANCY AFFECT HER PRESIDENTIAL RUN?" bellowed some idiots.
White House Run Will Literally Kill Hillary, Says Dubious Source
The National Enquirer has published a "piece" or "article" called WHITE HOUSE RUN WILL KILL HILLARY. It reads like The Onion decided to take every article written about Hillary Clinton in the past few years and mash them together into a Hillary Clinton conspiracy theorist's wet dream.
Instagram Is Worried About Lady Gaga
In today's Tweet Beat, Lady Gaga's got some friends out there who fear that she's in a low place, Jeffrey Tambor and Josh Charles have started something special and Chelsea Clinton is a James Blunt fan.
