I Have 8 Types of Cheese in My Fridge Right Now But Not Kraft Singles, Thank God

Last month, Kraft announced that they were recalling thousands of boxes of their “cheese” singles. On Thursday, they went further, recalling 335,000 cases on top of the 36,000 already taken off the market, because more customers reported that they too had eaten a piece of wrapper plastic instead of straight cheese. »9/04/15 1:50pm9/04/15 1:50pm

This Bar Will Do Your Laundry While You Get Drunk and Eat Cheese

You know what one of the worst things about doing laundry is? That you can't get stupid drunk while waiting for your delicates to dry. I mean, theoretically you can, but you run a very high risk of drunkenly joining some underground laundry secret society. Those are a total pain in the ass to get out of, trust me. »4/15/14 9:30pm4/15/14 9:30pm

Milk Is Great for Your Joints, and Cheese Is Destroying Them

When I was a kid, it was all about milk. "Set the table! Wash your hands! Milk or water?" was the refrain at every mealtime. Not juice, not iced tea, not soda (Diet Coke wouldn't take hold for another decade)—just water or milk, milk or water, simple as that, as though the two were interchangeable. Nonfat for my mom,… »4/08/14 6:45pm4/08/14 6:45pm

Poll Finds that Women Are Happiest at Size 12 (Because Cheese Probably)

Conventional wisdom suggests that, when it comes to female happiness, thinner is always, always, always better—that once you whittle yourself down to a perf size 2, all of your problems will disappear, celery will begin to taste like donuts, and Twiggy circa 1967 (the happiest woman e'er to stride the earth!) will… »10/24/13 8:15pm10/24/13 8:15pm

Guy Loves Cheese So Much He Eats a Wheel of Brie on the Subway

Yo, I know you thought your week was shaping up pretty good, so I hate to break it to you like this, but what's actually been going on is that your entire existence has been hot garbage up until this moment. Because you didn't even know about a little something called OH, JUST BEN LINUS* EATING AN ENTIRE WHEEL OF… »10/11/13 7:00pm10/11/13 7:00pm

Cheese Will Make You Happy, May Also Lower Diabetes Risk

Science has finally caught up with deliciousness with the new findings that eating cheese can reduce the risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 12 percent. Naturally, the flavor of this news is paired really well with red wine (which basically enables us to live forever while getting drunk without having to exercise). »7/24/12 10:50am7/24/12 10:50am

Cheese, Glorious Cheese: It's All About the Cheddar

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our recommendation… »7/09/12 4:10pm7/09/12 4:10pm

Earthquake in Italy Devastates the World's Artisanal Cheese Supply

Friends, it is with great sadness that I must report news of a most terrible tragedy. As you may have heard, a magnitude 6.0 earthquake hit Italy yesterday, north of Bologna. Already it has killed seven people and ruined many historic buildings, which is obviously awful. But now we're getting even more bad news: it's… »5/21/12 10:00pm5/21/12 10:00pm