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New York, 7:51 PM
Sat Nov 7
42 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/29/09
I absolutely despite this darwinist, life-is-a-jungle rhetoric. We are still a civilized society and we should aim for morality rather than ME-first instinct.
Crap, now I should go become a communist or something. #ethics
10/29/09
But I freely admit to being less than honest in my personal life, particularly when people are poking at me beyond my comfort level. I don't feel the need to do it as much as I get older; I think for a lot of people, it's a function of insecurity and I'm not that insecure anymore. Of course, it hurts absolutely no one if my pre-dinner drinks stories are distorted in some way, and I hardly pretend to have a fascinating life myself (I'm more prone to elide or obfuscate for the sake of a better story--like any fiction writer!), but it didn't exactly please my parents when I'd tell them what they wanted to hear about where I was going. My parents would freak about the most normal things, like my dating. To this day, the most common lie told in my parents' house, by me or my siblings, is that so-and-so isn't a bf/gf but "just a friend." My folks are relaxing a little, though, possibly seeing that their position on these things has led to three of their four children crossing into thirty without marrying or having kids. Things apparently change when you start to worry you won't have more than one grandkid. #ethics
10/29/09
There are big lies and little lies. I'm curious if that was taken into account or if they just use the, "cheating is a gateway drug" line of reasoning. I know, I know, moral relativism is a great thing.
But ever since my last tea with the Queen where she gave me one of her Corgis who I then trained to speak french, my IQ has made me a more thoughtful person.
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10/29/09
(To make it really funky, I have been known to give back extra change and to also turn in five dollar bills that I found on the floor in the lobby of my workplace. ZOMG COMPLEXITY.) #ethics
10/29/09
I cheated on him with Mr. G. We've been together for 22 years, so how complex does that make things? #ethics
10/29/09
My ex-husband was also an abusive asshole, and there is a part of me that also says he had it coming. (Even my best friend has said he's lucky that's all I did to him.) But then I also think, like you said, that his being an asshole does not negate my being an asshole.
And like you, I cheated with my current husband, who I've been with for three years now.
I have to ask, though - do you ever feel guilty? If so, did the guilt subside over time? Because sometimes I feel like such a huge dickhead for what I did, and I would like to know if that feeling will eventually go away.
BTW - congratulations on becoming a kitten mom! #ethics
10/29/09
10/29/09
As Cartman/Mr. Escalante told his students to get away with cheating like white people do, in a glorious South Park episode--"I did not lie. I misinterpreted the rules." #ethics
10/29/09
The most egregious instance of their cheating was when the 3rd-ranked student turned in a plagiarized essay for a final paper in English. She loved the teacher and he loved her. He had, however, assigned the paper with the words, "If I find out anyone plagiarized, I will give them a zero on the paper." Miss 3rd plagiarized and got caught, so what did he do? He turned her A+ into an A-.
So maybe what I'm trying to say is, if people thought there were real consequences for cheating that applied across the board, they wouldn't do it, because they'd be less likely to believe they'd get away with it in the first place. #ethics
10/29/09
I don't know. But I get tired of the "X generation is going to the dogs! What is our world coming to!" crap. People aren't fully formed at 17, or 18, or even 20. Hopefully I'll be less of a shitty 20 year old when I'm 50 (and if I'm not, than...well...I suck). #ethics
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10/29/09
LA doesn't have the corner on the bad people market - we have our share in Lower Crapovia too. #ethics
10/29/09
When your quizzes are online and all of your peers are going to be looking at the book or taking them jointly or opening an old answer sheet - and messing up the curve - are you really going to put yourself at a disadvantage just to stay honest?
In high school we copied just to be able to handle the workload along with extracurriculars expected from us.
Our education system has fostered an environment of somewhat unrealistic expectations. Are we supposed to be surprised kids are willing to compromise their morals to keep up?
And, unfortunately, the attitude this environment creates may extend beyond the years of schooling. #ethics
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10/29/09
This may have to do with the canonization of the celebrity "Mea Culpa" and the ensuing cascade of "But he's sorry!" or "He admitted that he was wrong!"s. In the public eye, somehow admitting you're an asshole makes you seem like less of an asshole, because you choose to live your life as an out of the closet asshole rather than a secret asshole. But often times, the public admitting of wrongdoing is an even more assholey behavior, because the asshole in question admitted to the behavior with the intent of garnering sympathy and support rather than actually apologizing. #ethics
10/29/09
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10/29/09
"Yeah, I kick puppies and cheat on my wife but Jesus Christ is my Personal Lord and Savior so that means that I'm going to heaven no matter what so NYAH NYAH NYAH!" #ethics
10/29/09
10/29/09
"Don't say 'I'm sorry.'" He'd say. "Tell me 'it won't happen again.'"
I like to think it was really helpful and formative, considering women often apologize for things even when they haven't done wrong, just because they've been socialized to.
Thanks, Dad! You're the awesomest. #ethics
10/29/09
10/29/09
(And gosh darn I wish he'd been around when I was growing up, 'cause I would have used that with about ten thousand people by now, including an ex and my own parents.) #ethics
10/29/09
Now I work in a high school and wish Icould teach kids how to feel guilt over decisions they make. #ethics
10/29/09
I cheated on the odd test in school and I certainly copied off friends' homework assignments a few times. I also aided and abetted; my friend and I used to have to leave our French assignments open on our desks over break, so all the others could copy. But I never would have cheated when it mattered, like on a state exam or end of year exam. It's just, the vast majority of the time, it didn't matter, because most of the time you spend in school is time wasted.
And come on, what teenager doesn't lie to their parents? Some things parents just didn't need to know. Nothing horrific, just a few bits of info, bad teenage experimentations, that are best kept between me, the dog I talked to for an hour thinking we were having a conversation, and my friend's bottle of home made absinthe. Ahh youth. #ethics
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10/29/09
I completely agree with your first statement. #ethics
10/29/09
10/29/09
@doingtheunstuck: I like that! Teamwork and trust. I never really understood why people got upset about letting others copy their work, but that might be because in the country where I grew up, you live or die by the state exams. Even if there had been an element of competition--which there isn't, because it's just not how the system works, no ranking or anything--it was still like, if you need to copy my assignment you're clearly not going to be the person who skews the whole country's curve and denies me my grade! #ethics
10/29/09
Also, ha, props to criminal mastermind Intern Katy for writing a post that gets everybody to squirmily rationalize their childhood misdeeds. Nobody is a clockwork orange, etc.