Gather around, fellow feminists, because I have exciting news: we've done it at long last! We've begun to close that infamous gap between men and women — you know the one — that yawning gulf of inequality that insidiously reinforces patriarchy. You know what I'm talking about, ladies. That's right, we're finally… Read… 7/03/13 5:20pm 7/03/13 5:20pm

In the immortal words of Freud, “No mortal can keep a secret. If the lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” This is a thought I revisit often; for instance, last week, I ran into a very distant acquaintance at a CVS while purchasing two things: a box of super… Read… 6/27/13 5:00pm 6/27/13 5:00pm

If your crotch is hankering to try someone new, but you stomach is hungry for something familiar, you take your piece on the side to a chain like Olive Garden. Because when you're there, you're family. (Without the obligation of being with your actual family.) Read… 4/25/13 11:30am 4/25/13 11:30am

At yesterday's University of Southern California annual ROTC dinner, former CIA director David Petraeus made his first public speech since resigning last November after it was revealed that he had been having an affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell. Read… 3/27/13 11:10am 3/27/13 11:10am

A new divorce bill proposing that spouses who cheat should pay more in alimony was struck down during a committee meeting at Utah's State Capitol this week, but not before State Sen. Lyle Hillyard (R., because of course he is) managed to remove one of his shoes, unroll his dress sock, and insert his entire stinky foot… Read… 2/03/13 4:00pm 2/03/13 4:00pm

My first sexual relationship was an affair, and I was the mistress. Perhaps I developed a taste for it, or it's just the blueprint that I started out with, but for me, one of the most appealing aspects of an affair is its casual nature. The subtext is not to fall in love or become too attached. This is a difficult… Read… 1/08/13 3:00pm 1/08/13 3:00pm

Heads up, adulterers: lock your phone or throw it in a toilet or something because you're hella gonna get busted on Christmas Day. Happy holidays, dumbasses! Read… 12/24/12 9:30am 12/24/12 9:30am

If you are anything like me (e.g. your gut response when a stranger comes up to you and your friends and starts hitting on them is to roll your eyes and start pointedly texting), your friends are constantly ripping on your tendency to judge men by first impressions. Read… 12/08/12 1:45pm 12/08/12 1:45pm

Although Kinsey's 60-year-old statistics have since been widely debated—not to mention there was, and will always be, the assumption that the rates are actually slightly higher thanks to the people who won't come clean—he found that men were significantly more likely to cheat than women, and that opinion has remained… Read… 10/20/12 5:45pm 10/20/12 5:45pm

This fucking toxic social media website called Cheaterville, which allows you to call out your unfaithful partner in a public forum on behalf of all of the men or women who will henceforth fall into his/her sexdevil talons, has released some statistics on the people listed by their scorned partners. Read… 9/29/12 6:00pm 9/29/12 6:00pm

Was it the justified outing of a minor celebrity cheater or a cruel and dishonest act of self-promotion? The debate over model Melissa Stetten's now infamous tweets about soap actor Brian Presley's clumsy, malapropism-laden attempt to hit on her during a cross-country fight has gone viral. In case you missed it, the 22 … Read… 6/11/12 3:50pm 6/11/12 3:50pm

Do you feel like something's just a little off in your relationship? Like maybe the husband's a little distant these days? Maybe, at some hazy, half-remembered moment, your "we" stopped being an "us" and now it's just "you" and "him" and, you suspect, a mysterious "her"? Well quit wondering, dummies, and just check on all of… Read… 5/05/12 6:15pm 5/05/12 6:15pm

The trial of John Edwards continued yesterday with testimony from an aide who claimed the former Democratic Senator and ex- Presidential hopeful had a cute nickname for his former sex partner and the mother of his child — crazy slut. And boy did that crazy slut love to spend campaign money. Love is so beautiful and… Read… 4/25/12 12:50pm 4/25/12 12:50pm

Ex-Presidential candidate and horrible person John Edwards and the mother of his extramarital daughter that he conceived while his wife was dying of cancer, ex-videographer and horrible person Rielle Hunter, have reportedly stopped making out in public, and this has led some local busybodies to conclude that they must… Read… 4/23/12 12:35pm 4/23/12 12:35pm

Faced with a very public infidelity scandal involving one of their own, a South Carolina county decided that the best way to prevent future scandals was to force all would-be Republican candidates for office to sign a pledge promising to both balance budgets and keep their genitals in either their pants or their wives… Read… 3/07/12 6:50pm 3/07/12 6:50pm