If you suspect that your spouse or significant other is cheating on you, you have a few methods of recourse: you can drop pointed hints about the deep and awe-inspiring wellspring of righteous anger simmering within your heart (i.e., "I personally think that all cheaters should burn in hell forever, hahaha") until a… » 1/28/14 7:00pm 1/28/14 7:00pm

I feel like I'm the only person on earth who watched every episode of Tori & Dean: Inn Love—which was the 2007 reality show where Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott attempted to open a bed and breakfast while Tori was 97 months pregnant with their first child—because every time I reference it and go up top for the … » 12/26/13 4:50pm 12/26/13 4:50pm

Gather around, fellow feminists, because I have exciting news: we've done it at long last! We've begun to close that infamous gap between men and women — you know the one — that yawning gulf of inequality that insidiously reinforces patriarchy. You know what I'm talking about, ladies. That's right, we're finally… » 7/03/13 5:20pm 7/03/13 5:20pm

In the immortal words of Freud, “No mortal can keep a secret. If the lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” This is a thought I revisit often; for instance, last week, I ran into a very distant acquaintance at a CVS while purchasing two things: a box of super tampons … » 6/27/13 5:00pm 6/27/13 5:00pm

If your crotch is hankering to try someone new, but you stomach is hungry for something familiar, you take your piece on the side to a chain like Olive Garden. Because when you're there, you're family. (Without the obligation of being with your actual family.) » 4/25/13 11:30am 4/25/13 11:30am

At yesterday's University of Southern California annual ROTC dinner, former CIA director David Petraeus made his first public speech since resigning last November after it was revealed that he had been having an affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell. » 3/27/13 11:10am 3/27/13 11:10am

A new divorce bill proposing that spouses who cheat should pay more in alimony was struck down during a committee meeting at Utah's State Capitol this week, but not before State Sen. Lyle Hillyard (R., because of course he is) managed to remove one of his shoes, unroll his dress sock, and insert his entire stinky foot… » 2/03/13 4:00pm 2/03/13 4:00pm

My first sexual relationship was an affair, and I was the mistress. Perhaps I developed a taste for it, or it's just the blueprint that I started out with, but for me, one of the most appealing aspects of an affair is its casual nature. The subtext is not to fall in love or become too attached. This is a difficult… » 1/08/13 3:00pm 1/08/13 3:00pm

Heads up, adulterers: lock your phone or throw it in a toilet or something because you're hella gonna get busted on Christmas Day. Happy holidays, dumbasses! » 12/24/12 9:30am 12/24/12 9:30am

If you are anything like me (e.g. your gut response when a stranger comes up to you and your friends and starts hitting on them is to roll your eyes and start pointedly texting), your friends are constantly ripping on your tendency to judge men by first impressions. » 12/08/12 1:45pm 12/08/12 1:45pm