Charlie Sheen Got Dissed by Rihanna, Called Her the 'Village Idiot'

LOLOLOLLOLLOOOLOLOL. Charlie Sheen was at some restaurant last night, and Rihanna was also there, and Charlie tried to impress his girlfriend by getting a RiRi intro, and Rihanna was like "who is that even i'm busy lol bye." And then Charlie got his baby diarrhea all over Twitter and it was AMAZING. » 5/22/14 8:00pm 5/22/14 8:00pm

American Duke Charlie Sheen Is Engaged (Again)

The Sheen men— Martin, Charlie and Emilio — are a prime example of American celebrity nobility, so, to mock the absurd way actual nobles and royals are still celebrated in certain frivolous, Grinch-shaped (concentrate on the bottom and imagine a Santa cap) islands around the world, we ought to spend this Sunday… » 2/16/14 11:30am 2/16/14 11:30am

DMX May Not Lay The Smackdown on George Zimmerman After All

There was absolutely nothing good about the announcement that certified awful person George Zimmerman (no celebrity bold for you!) would appear on an episode of Celebrity Boxing to square off against rapper DMX (on what would have been Trayvon Martin's 19th birthday, no less). This news was actually so not good that… » 2/08/14 12:15pm 2/08/14 12:15pm

Charlie Sheen Denounces Phil Robertson's Bigotry with a Weird Poem

After bigoted duckpreneur and Sweetums stuntman Phil Robertson expressed his very strong preference for vaginal intercourse and his very pronounced disdain for gay people, the first question everyone asked was: Why is Duck Dynasty even a thing, anyway? The second question was: What does Charlie Sheen, himself a… » 12/22/13 11:30am 12/22/13 11:30am

Marina Abramovic Saved Lady Gaga from a Lifetime of Weed Addiction

Lady Gaga recently revealed that after her debilitating hip surgery, she smoked a ton of weed to numb the pain. She says she was smoking "15 joints a day," until friend Marina Abramovic told her she had a problem and helped her severely cut back, via a weeks-long art fast at Abramovic's house. (Which, admittedly,… » 11/08/13 7:59pm 11/08/13 7:59pm

Zac Efron Passed Out From an Oxy Overdose and Some Jerk Sold the Pix

The totally reputable National Enquirer has reportedly obtained a shot of Zac Efron collapsed in the Thompson Hotel on January 3rd after an overdose of "hillbilly heroin" Oxy, obtained during a batshit night of drinking. Efron reportedly got the pills from the street and requested all party guests to buy forty for… » 9/25/13 9:13am 9/25/13 9:13am

Miley Cyrus Fans Want To Rip Lorde's Brains Out For Winning at iTunes

Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old… » 9/20/13 9:00am 9/20/13 9:00am

Whoa: Angelina Jolie Is Also Having Her Ovaries Removed

In addition to the double mastectomy that Angelina Jolie underwent in February, we learned in her New York Times op-ed, she also plans on having an oophorectomy — ovary removal surgery, a procedure recommended for high-risk women before the age of 40. Without this, her BRCA1 gene still places her risk of ovarian… » 5/15/13 9:00am 5/15/13 9:00am