March Madness Drugs vs. Alcohol Ends With Caffeine vs. Bubbly

It all comes down to this. Drugs vs. Alcohol. Caffeine vs. Champagne. Whereas all men must die, one March Madness competitor can live forever as the God of Inebriation. Your vote decides which will be remembered (and forgotten) as the substance that tried and failed and which will achieve immortality in our hearts and… »3/28/14 5:15pm3/28/14 5:15pm


It's Hot as Fuck (and You're Classy as Hell): Make This Prosecco Sorbet

This recipe is crazy easy, crazy boozy, and crazy cold. You know you're about to die from living in a boiling sewer swamp of oppressively hot stank. It's like walking around inside a muppet — you know those things are as dirty as they are wet from puppeteer hand sweat. That's what it's like. It's like walking around… »7/19/13 6:40pm7/19/13 6:40pm

Church of England Updating Itself with ‘Champagne Christenings’

Let’s face it — in the industrialized, Western world, religion is having a fairly rough go of it. Sure, there will always be some hardcore fundamentalist literalists who refuse to admit, say, that lions and gazelles wouldn’t pass a 40 day and night diluvian pleasure cruise playing bridge and calmly sipping highballs,… »6/30/13 12:30pm6/30/13 12:30pm