What’s that?!

This week’s issue of the New Yorker includes a lengthy and colorful report on controversial gossip site TMZ and its deeply tanned founder, Harvey Levin. In August, The Hollywood Reporter reported that the piece, which at that point was already a yearlong project, had Levin shaking in his boots.

“Quasi straight” actress/author/talk show host/dancer/choreographer Rosie Perez had a lesbian relationship in middle school with a girl named ‘Michelle,’ whom, apparently, Rosie wanted to “hump all the time.”

The next time you rent yourself a foam machine for your next casual backyard barbecue and think, “This is going to be the best backyard foam party EVER”—well, think again, because your sensitive boyfriend Drake just took home the title of epic foam party host.

The only thing better than Magic Mike Channing Tatum shaking his junk in front of a fictional, film-cast crowd is Channing Tatum shaking his junk atop a float in front of a real, live crowd while tossing promotional trinkets for Magic Mike XXL.

If you’re one of those chicks who’s ever faked an orgasm (cough), be advised: you’re breaking Nicki Minaj’s pink spandex-clad heart.

Dame Jessica Lange, pictured above, hadn’t yet seen Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair cover or, apparently, the Internet (like, ever) when asked in an interview what she thought of her resemblance to the recently-transitioned star. Either way, she thinks the comparison is “wonderful.”

I hate to say I told you so, but I kind of hinted in a recent Dirt Bag that things with Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill seemed to be on the fritz (I mean, come on: the guy said they’re “feeling each other out” when asked how the relationship is going.) And if Nicki’s not-so-subtle Twitter and Instagram posts as of late are…

Subtitle: Lifestyle Website Proprietress is Determined to Teach Actor Husband How to ‘Gram; is Hashtag Happy.

Dress rehearsals: nice and cute and a good way to get pepped for the big show in theory, but not necessary if you’re one Mariah Carey, who blew off the final rehearsal scheduled before tonight’s Billboard Music Awards.

Just a memo: parents will never cease to embarrass you, no matter how old and famous you are. Alan Thicke has revealed that he plays his son Robin Thicke’s music when he’s having sex. The 68-year-old stars with his wife, Tanya Callau, in the reality-mockumentary series Unusually Thicke. “When we do get freaky, we love…

Is there a planet in retrograde? Something is surely amiss because suddenly the Kardashian family is concerned about little Kylie Jenner. A source told People that while Kylie’s family doesn’t think she’s getting out of control, they’ve become concerned about the influence of her 25-year-old boyfriend Tyga. The source…

If you’re a celebrity who hopes for many more magazine covers in her future, there’s one person you probably shouldn’t fuck with, and that’s Anna Wintour.

This just in: Amber Rose does not wait in airport security lines. More surprising: she flies commercial? (Scoffs)

Whatever Tyga wants, Tyga gets—and if that includes showing up late to a show, chicken wings (cough), and Kylie Jenner tagging along after the host specifically told him to leave her at home, then so be it.

Chris Brown won’t stop, can’t stop being Chris Brown.

Lots of people made a point of spending lots of money to watch (either in person or on TV) the “fight of the century” last night. Beyoncé decided to roll up looking like a dime and basically just win life.