Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we go to the counter with our magazines, get asked if we need a bag, say no, and hear the cashier laugh in response. “I know you don’t need a bag,” he says. “You’re the guy who never needs a bag!”

Just weeks after Jennifer Aniston used the publication to condemn tabloid news, Renée Zellweger, Bridget Jones herself, published her own piece in the Huffington Post Friday in which she chastised the same media outlets for their comments about her face and ongoing mistreatment of celebrities—women, specifically.

Kim Kardashian, mother of North, Saint, and Selfies, is having a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day, and it’s all because her phone broke. But not her Lumee®-wrapped iPhone, which is presumably fine and could easily be replaced by Apple. It’s her second phone—her Blackberry—that has suffered irreparable damage.

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we look at the covers of our favorite magazines, sigh, and pick them up anyway. This week, Star published photos of Lindsay Lohan and Egor Tarabasov fighting, Life & Style thinks Jennifer Lopez is pregnant again, and In Touch thinks Brad Pitt was “caught with Jen.”

It was Roman poet Juvenal who first said, “Two things only the people anxiously desire—bread and circuses” as a criticism of the layman’s priority for fun and food over more pressing intellectual and political pursuits. Take the phrase and make it carb-free (green juice and circuses?) and you have an encapsulation of…

In a masterfully sly move, Kim Kardashian has posted to her Snapchat account footage revealing that, despite what Taylor Swift has claimed, the pop star signed off on Kanye West’s lyrics for “Famous,” the first single from Life Of Pablo. The videos capture the phone conversation in which Kanye obtains Swift’s approval.

In an op-ed published on the Huffington Post Tuesday, Jennifer Aniston addressed the ongoing speculation that she was pregnant:

Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx are in love. This has never been confirmed by them, of course, but it has been drilled into our heads (or at least my own) by nearly every issue of Us Weekly since March of 2015, when the tabloid published a blurry photo of the two of them holding hands.

On Friday, StarWipe announced that it would officially be shutting down operations after less than a year of existence. The website, which is owned by The Onion, was intended to be a satirical take on celebrity gossip sites.

In today’s Tweet Beat, Zac Efron is paranoid, Whitney Port would like to know more about your energy, and just about everyone is interacting with bugs.

Kelly Ripa is fine. Michael Strahan is fine. ABC is fine. Everything is fine! That was the gist of the lengthy monologue with which Kelly Ripa opened Tuesday morning’s episode of Live! With Michael & Kelly—her first since news broke of Strahan’s upcoming departure for Good Morning America.

There is something uniquely odd about sitting in a theater of good-looking, affluent young people applauding the idea of increasing the number of well-trained, well-paid public defenders in the United States, but that’s what you’ll get at Dean Strang and Jerry Buting’s 20-city “Conversation on Justice” speaking tour.

Lindsay Lohan, star of The Parent Trap and Page Six headlines, is maybe engaged! The lucky man is named Egor Tarabasov, and you probably don’t know a single thing about him. Below are a few questions you probably have about Lohan’s future husband, answered to the best of my ability.

There’s little to be said when a new movie gets successfully promoted. The actors show up for interviews, give PR-approved soundbites about what an honor it was to work on the picture, and go home a little richer while the rest of us—the hideous normals—move on with our lives...or at least onto something more…

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we read a headline about Justin Bieber impregnating Kourtney Kardashian, throw up our breakfast, shamefully clean up our desk, throw up again after being reminded of the pregnancy, and decide to keep working from the vomit-covered desk because nothing matters now that the plot of …

On March 5, 2016, the Human Rights Campaign honored Kesha with their Visibility Award, bestowed upon “high profile individuals who use their platform to advance and advocate for the LGBT movement.” She accepted the award through tears, beginning with an earnest thank you to all those who have shown her support during…

Though Wednesday evening’s reports of her death were premature, Angela “Big Ang” Raiola’s family and friends have confirmed that she passed away early Thursday morning while “surrounded by family members.” Ang, who shot to fame in 2012 after landing a role on the second season of VH1's Mob Wives, had been battling…

Just when I thought Friday couldn’t get any more exciting, these two announced they will be soon be walking down the aisle together as husband as wife! The breaking news comes one day after the male-identified lover of Polish models reposted a hilarious video from an Instagram account called “ridiculous” in which a…

Just months after announcing their engagement on Instagram, these two have surprised the country by announcing she’s finally pregnant! Us Weekly exclusively confirmed the news Wednesday afternoon, and shared a statement from the happy parents-to-be in which they expressed their unparalleled excitement for the journey…

In a piece published Tuesday, The New York Times explored the series of events that led to Charlie Sheen’s public announcement of his H.I.V. status last November. “To track the push and pull between Mr. Sheen and the media over several years,” Colin Moynihan writes, “is to see behind the veil of how celebrity secrets…