Cavemen Were So Freaking High When They Made All Those Cave Paintings

If you've thought about it at all, you've probably come to the conclusion that being a caveman sucked. There was NO Internet, NO such thing as burritos, you spent all your time during the day grunting and escaping predators, and you also carried on your hunched-over hominid shoulders the responsibility of the whole… » 7/15/13 12:20pm 7/15/13 12:20pm

37,000-Year-Old Caveman Porno Found in France

Hoh hoh hohhh!!! Bonjour! New anthropological findings suggest that horny French cavemen may have been just as into dirty pictures as any modern houseman. An excavation of a rock shelter in the Vezere River valley has turned up some illustrations that anthropologists are calling ''the oldest evidence of any kind of… » 5/15/12 4:30pm 5/15/12 4:30pm

Stop Using Cavemen as an Excuse for Your Fad Diet

Anthropologists have uncovered "unambiguous evidence" in South Africa that our Homo erectus grandpas were cooking their food as far back as one million years ago. Previous to this discovery, the earliest conclusive evidence of deliberate, human-controlled fires dated back only about 400,000 years. Now, I know what… » 4/05/12 11:10am 4/05/12 11:10am

Clan Of The Cave Bear Saga Ends With 6th Book

My class read Clan Of The Cave Bear in fifth grade. I'm not sure why — was it part of English? History? Sex ed? What I do know is that it was vivid, and steamy, and taught us a gesture that meant, "You, on your knees for fornication. Now." » 3/29/11 5:20pm 3/29/11 5:20pm

"There's A Man-Sized Feeling Of Power In Smoking A Cigar…"

How exactly does it "bring out the caveman"? Why is she the one in a Jungle Jane ensemble? And aren't the club and the cigar phallic symbols? So many questions. [Vintage Ads] » 11/19/09 1:30pm 11/19/09 1:30pm

(Stone) Age Of Innocence: Cave Man Fantasies

Screw vintage. The alleged new nostalgia is for "a much earlier epoch: the Pleistocene, when humans lived in small hunter-gatherer groups and didn’t worry about high cholesterol." » 1/20/09 12:20pm 1/20/09 12:20pm

From reader PoliticalPartyGirl, recently back from a European vacation: "So, I'm on vacay in Europe. I was in France visiting the caves at Lascaux where they discovered ancient cave paintings when I made a discovery of my own... Tounga the Caveman and his loyal Cave Bimbo! The Bimbo is so far ahead of her time, it… » 8/11/08 6:30pm 8/11/08 6:30pm

Paul Janka, John Fitzgerald Page Try To Out-Douche Each Other On Dr.…

"Casanova Caveman" Paul Janka and "The Worst Person in the World" John Fitzgerald Page both appeared on Dr. Phil today for a show about men with huge egos. I, for one, would be shocked if either of these 'bags get laid anytime soon — if ever again — because they just let millions of women know just what giant tools… » 5/07/08 7:00pm 5/07/08 7:00pm

Coming Up On Dr. Phil: Paul Janka, Caveman Casanova

Dr. Phil has been running commercials for all-new, jaw-dropping episodes coming up in May, and guess who is among the guests? Paul Janka. In a brief 30-second spot, we learn that, while in the Dr. Phil studio, he hit on the show's staff, and that he continues to embrace his inner Neanderthal. "I invoke the idea of a… » 4/24/08 7:00pm 4/24/08 7:00pm

Caveman Confronts "View" Creationist Sherri Shepherd

When we first learned that the forthcoming sitcom Cavemen was based on those Geico car insurance commercials, we just sort of groaned. But we might be changing our minds after one of the show's stars, Nick Kroll, showed up in character on The View yesterday, and openly mocked Sherri Shepherd for not believing in… » 10/02/07 1:00pm 10/02/07 1:00pm