Mommy and daddy went to a party.

Prince William sat down for his first interview since Duchess Shinylocks gave birth, and he told CNN's Max Foster that wee Prince George is a "rascal." The tiny terror — who is not even one month old yet — apparently received some boisterous DNA from the Windsors. As William put it:

Yesterday the Duchess of Cambridge hung out with Scouts at Windsor Castle, and the buzz is that the pregnant royal actually looked pregnant. But can we talk about that aborable Mulberry coat? Mint green with gold flower buttons? A fresh breath of spring air.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, went on a wintry jaunt to Windermere today, where she hung out a the Great Tower Scout camp. We assumed she was roasting the entrails of her enemies — quite good for nourishing the royal fetus — but apparently it's traditional unleavened camping bread. Yum?

Blake Lively's been dumped, you guys. After they were seen yacht-hopping and jet-setting and canoodling all over Europe, Leonardo di Caprio has given Blake the heave-ho. Apparently Leo's mom didn't like Blake. When they met, Blake was nervous, so she talked a lot, and Leo's German-born mother Irmelin did not like that…

Yesterday, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge hit Calgary on their tour of Canada, where they donned cowboy hats and had a knee-slappin' good time.

OMFG: Prince William and Catherine Middleton — sorry, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge — will be visiting Los Angeles this summer! They will most likely stay with David and Victoria Beckham. Will they take iPhone pix of themselves in front of the Hollywood sign? Will they place their palms inside of Marilyn's…

We waited. And damn it, we're gonna ogle the shit outta this thing, created by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen.

Good morning! Or, perhaps, if you have stayed up all night, good evening! Following a brief and glorious engagement, the wedding day of Prince William and Kate Catherine Middleton has arrived. We're watching NBC, and we have an Authentic British Person™ chiming in from time to time. Pour yourself a cup of tea and join…

As one might imagine, things were absolutely out of control.

The countdown continues. The hysteria increases. And so do the stories.

Herewith, your obligatory daily roundup of conjecture, speculation, gossip and authoritative pronouncements about Friday's royal wedding.

OMG People, only 4 business days until the GREATESTEVENTOFALLTIME. And you better believe the hysterical faux-story count is climbing!

As we get closer and closer to April 29, the Day of Days, Royal Wedding Mania reaches a fever pitch. Each day brings more and more "news" about Prince William and Kate Middleton, even though neither of them have done anything new or noteworthy!

Although, frankly, if you miss it, you're seriously missing out.

We're so sure you're planning to rise at 5 am on April 29th and do a real-time mock-up of the Royal Wedding, that we're going to lay out every bit of the schedule. You're welcome.

Deliberate suggestion, or simple mistake? Gives a particular poignancy to the words on the back: "The fairytale romantic union of all the centuries. 29th April 2011."

Today in royal wedding shenanigans: Kate Catherine and Wills are inviting their ("gorgeous") exes to the wedding. The Obamas are (still) not invited. People not involved with the wedding are exercised about both these things.

Yes, it's up. In future, they're hinting at exclusive content and a wedding live-stream. Avid royal-watchers will still get a kick out of info on the wedding route, the palace and the history. But then, avid royal-watchers will probably know all that already.

The Royal Wedding is April 29! Which tiara will Kate—sorry, Catherine—wear? Which uniform will Prince William select? Will Crown Prince Alexander of Yugoslavia attend? So many things to think about! Luckily, royal watchers are on it.