Cannibal Housewife Book Touted as the Next Fifty Shades Mega Hit

As the year draws to a close, it's likely that you've been asking yourself one question and one question only: what is 2014's answer to Fifty Shades of Grey? What taboo will some enterprising publisher mine in order to instill a small tremor of excitement in us as a populace? Um, well, according to speculation,… » 12/17/13 1:10pm 12/17/13 1:10pm

NYC Cop Allegedly Plotted to Cook and Eat Women. Really.

I never thought I'd long for the days where the most despicable thing a New York Police Department officer was accused of was raping women, but here we are: a cop was arrested yesterday in Queens by the FBI "on suspicion of a federal kidnapping conspiracy in which he discussed cooking and eating female body parts,… » 10/25/12 2:20pm 10/25/12 2:20pm

Longtime Church Puppeteer Arrested For Harboring Fantasies of…

An international child porn crackdown that's led to 40 arrests in six countries has uncovered a particularly gruesome stateside correspondence out of Florida, our nation's unofficial Sensational Headline Generator™. A 57-year-old man named Ronald William Brown, who has worked as a Christian-interest puppeteer and… » 7/28/12 3:00pm 7/28/12 3:00pm

Chinese Woman Falls Victim to Terrible Face-Eating Trend

Listen, this face-eating business is getting out of control—and we can't even blame it on bath salts anymore. . Now it's spread to China; is there some kind of virus traveling through the air, Contagion-style? This latest incident occurred in Wenzhou, when a very drunk man randomly attacked a woman who was driving by… » 7/02/12 9:30am 7/02/12 9:30am