Here at Jezebel HQ, we have a lot of opinions and a lot of beliefs. Of those, chiefly, we think gummy candy is good, and believe that we need several packs of them to get through the day. This has resulted in only one root canal this year, as far as I’m aware.
Earlier today on this very website, my colleague Sam Biddle referred to a recent photograph of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie pouring a bag of M&Ms into a box of M&Ms as “embarrassing” and inexplicable—an analysis as unfair as it is incorrect. Because in this instance, for what may be the very first time in his…
When I was a child, Peeps were Daylight Saving for my soul. As the days grew warmer, the technicolor hues of the marshmallow candy began sprouting on drugstore shelves, the confectionery equivalent of daffodils and tulips.
The experience of using Kourtney Kardashian’s app is a lot like paying $2.99 to enter a very wealthy stranger’s stark white mansion for the sole privilege of thumbing through a limited selection of photo albums they’ve fanned out on their coffee table. As you turn the pages and squint at every well-shot reminder that…
Important candy news: a woman in London is taking a stand against Nestlé for having the audacity to subject consumers to a wafer-less Kit Kat bar.
Welcome to Cavity Connoisseur, a new occasional column about refined sugar. It has to be occasional or else it will kill me.
I’ve never really lived in a neighborhood that drew a lot of Trick-or-Treaters, but that doesn’t keep me from buying Halloween candy. Obviously, this is a task I take very seriously because, even if zero children visit my house, I want to get the as much delicious, seasonal sugar as I can for my money.
Okay, I figured out what I want to be for Halloween.
After more than a century, there is now a single place in Bournville, England—a village built by the founders of Cadbury candy, and still closely tied to the company—where you can buy a goddamn drink. Not everybody is thrilled.
Tis the season, the only season that matters, the season that Halloween candy finally starts appearing on the shelves. Unfortunately, that also means candy corn has made its foul return, a crumbling and earwax-esque concoction that, like your racist grandparent, you only give a pass because it’s been around for so…
Here's the cover for Candy (or C☆NDY)'s fifth anniversary special issue, titled "The Role Models," starring Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Carmen Carrera, and Geena Rocero—"the glamorous women who lead the trans revolution."
Now you know exactly what to do the next time you rack up $26.
Everything that looks like candy is not, in fact, candy, and some kids are learning this the hard way — by eating colorful laundry detergent pods and winding up in the hospital.
Let all your friends know: Corgi vs Warhead is the new Baby vs Lemon. Mini, the ever inquisitive Corgi seems to have just found a foreign substance of dubious and sour nature on the ground and would just like to warn everyone of that fact. Is it delicious? Or is it dangerous? Well don't ask Mini—she most…
Ah, Fat Tuesday, when Americans nowhere near New Orleans suddenly decide they simply must get in on the Mardi Gras fun. For instance: A Missouri candy shop is offering fudge to anyone who weighs more than 300 pounds.
Police in Southern California have reported at least two cases of children testing positive for methamphetamine after ingesting the Halloween treats they worked so hard to collect. In the world's worst double whammy, the police had to confiscate a child's entire candy stash for meth testing. Which is what I…
Every year after Halloween for the past few years, Jimmy Kimmel has asked parents to submit videos of their children reacting to being told that all their hard-earned Halloween candy has already been consumed. The results are...a lot crying children.
A local busybody in Fargo, North Dakota has decided to take America's child obesity epidemic on herself this Halloween by only giving candy to the trick or treaters she deems thin enough to deserve candy. The rest of the kids — those the woman deems "moderately obese" — get notes telling their parents to stop having…
Back in June I covered an exciting new product hitting the novelty lollipop market: the Texas-based Lollyphile Breast Milk-Flavored Lollipop. My feelings on the matter were a blend of maximum-lolz, medium-nausea, and the smug comfort of living very, very far away from Texas. Here's what I wrote at the time:
Meet Anala Beevers of New Orleans. This wunderkind learned the alphabet when she was four months old, and mastered numbers when she was 18 months old. Oh yeah, numbers in Spanish. And what have you done today?