​Indecisive Corgi Is Very Suspicious of Sour Lemon Warhead Candy

Let all your friends know: Corgi vs Warhead is the new Baby vs Lemon. Mini, the ever inquisitive Corgi seems to have just found a foreign substance of dubious and sour nature on the ground and would just like to warn everyone of that fact. Is it delicious? Or is it dangerous? Well don't ask Mini—she most definitely… » 3/09/14 5:30pm 3/09/14 5:30pm

Some Creep Gave Out Meth in the Place of Smarties on Halloween

Police in Southern California have reported at least two cases of children testing positive for methamphetamine after ingesting the Halloween treats they worked so hard to collect. In the world's worst double whammy, the police had to confiscate a child's entire candy stash for meth testing. Which is what I will… » 11/06/13 6:09pm 11/06/13 6:09pm

Halloween Jerk to Hand Out Notes Telling Trick or Treaters They're Fat

A local busybody in Fargo, North Dakota has decided to take America's child obesity epidemic on herself this Halloween by only giving candy to the trick or treaters she deems thin enough to deserve candy. The rest of the kids — those the woman deems "moderately obese" — get notes telling their parents to stop having… » 10/30/13 10:00am 10/30/13 10:00am

I Sucked on a Breast Milk Lollipop and Lived to Write About It

Back in June I covered an exciting new product hitting the novelty lollipop market: the Texas-based Lollyphile Breast Milk-Flavored Lollipop. My feelings on the matter were a blend of maximum-lolz, medium-nausea, and the smug comfort of living very, very far away from Texas. Here's what I wrote at the time: » 8/02/13 2:00pm 8/02/13 2:00pm

12-Year-Old French Girl Writes Bad Checks For Candy and Pastries

Internet, are you ready for a new anti-hero? Or just hero-hero? A 12-year-old girl in the southern French city of Bordeaux was caught by police after using stolen checks to buy 2,600 euros (that's $3,440!) worth of candies and pastries. Her autobiography title should be "Catch Me If You Candy!" — the NY Post can pay… » 7/26/13 10:40am 7/26/13 10:40am

Breast-Milk-Flavored Lollipops Are Now Available for You to Suck On

Are you tired of the same old lollipops just sitting around in your mouth not tasting like a stranger's leaky breast? Well MERRY CHRISTMAS, SHERLOCK. After rigorous boob-milk taste-testing, the food scientists at one Austin-based candy company have managed to synthesize the flavor of human breast milk in the form of… » 6/07/13 10:50am 6/07/13 10:50am

Peeps Love Peeps: That Gross Easter Candy Is Having Its Best Year Yet

Peeps, those chick and rabbit shaped blobs of sugar, corn syrup and gelatin that are stale from the moment you open the box, are having a hell of a year. Not only is the candy celebrating its 60th birthday, but 2012 happened to be the best financial year for Just Born, Inc, the company that creates Peeps — as well as… » 3/08/13 1:00pm 3/08/13 1:00pm

Edible Deodorant, for the Person Who'd Rather Eat Candy Than Shower…

Good news for those of us who want to radiate perfume stink from the inside out: Beneo, a US health and nutrition company has teamed up with Bulgarian confectioner Alpi (whose website is very exciting) to develop Deo, a perfumed candy that's said to release a rose scent through a person's pores following consumption.… » 11/08/12 2:40pm 11/08/12 2:40pm

Attention Fellow Fatties: Halloween Candy is Now Seventy-Five Percent…

What's up, my brothers and sisters in fat arms! Apparently Halloween candy is a super steal at Duane Reade so if you live near one, I really hope you didn't read past the headline. In fact, if you're still reading, I hate you, go away. Candy and bargain are honestly my two favorite words, and together? Excuse my… » 11/04/12 10:15pm 11/04/12 10:15pm