Sure, Hillary Won Pennsylvania, But Barry Nabbed The Hateful Ignorant…

They are known to let dead people come back to vote for ward leader in Philadelphia, but when I arrived at my polling place of the last two elections yesterday, I found my name mysteriously removed from the rolls. My friend and South Philadelphia homeowner Ryan, meanwhile, got turned away for not being a Democrat,… » 4/23/08 10:00am 4/23/08 10:00am

Barack Obama Would Rather Be Shooting Dunks And Fathering Illegitimate…

In a telling interview with the erudite Philadelphia radio program The Angelo Cataldi Show, Barack Obama said he would rather be Dr. J than president. (Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, gave some speech comparing herself to Rocky Balboa while wearing a fuchsia blazer.) Feminist hero Heidi Montag of The Hills announced her… » 4/02/08 10:00am 4/02/08 10:00am

Obama Girl: "I Think Sometimes In This Campaign/You've Got A Crush On…


We stopped watching the Obama Girl videos awhile back because, you know, it got old. But this one, in which she pleas with Hillary to drop out of the race, is really great, especially if you drank too much last night, but that goes without saying. Helpfully, it has subtitles, the better for you to catch such… » 3/25/08 9:20am 3/25/08 9:20am

Barack Obama Alienates Typical White Person Population

  • Barry called his grandma a "typical white person" on WIP, a highly erudite Philadelphia AM radio station, and now typical white people everywhere are left to ponder this. [Wonkette]
  • Scooter Libby was disbarred. it probably could have happened to a nicer guy, but not one who had written so explicitly about dog fucking!…
  • » 3/20/08 6:30pm 3/20/08 6:30pm

Barack Obama Defended By Mike Huckabee, Still No Word From Grandma

  • Obama's slightly racist grandma is not dead, she just doesn't feel like commenting on his speech apparently. Here is a picture of her clutching her grandson for fear of being beaten up by darker-skinned black men. No just kidding, it's just a graduation picture. Sorry to drag you into this, Madelyn Dunham.
  • ""As easy…
  • » 3/19/08 6:30pm 3/19/08 6:30pm

Ba-Hawk Obama? Please God Just End This Campaign Already...

  • Wyoming caucus tomorrow! Obama is expected to win. Because it's the home state of his distant cousin Dick Cheney? Nah, but I thought I'd use this bizarre picture anyway. [AP, Rolling Stone]
  • I couldn't exactly run another Samantha Power pic. But here she is in the news again, talking about how that whole sixteen month…
  • » 3/07/08 6:40pm 3/07/08 6:40pm

Terror Strikes America's Beloved Times Square!

POW! A lone bicyclist woke up a lot of tourists with his improvised explosive device in Times Square early this morning. But he doesn't seem to have destroyed anything. Not the Quiksilver Board Riders Shop? Not Sephora? Not Planet Hollywood or the freaking headquarters of Vogue? Oh, well. Is this a big deal in the era… » 3/06/08 10:00am 3/06/08 10:00am

Texas Lingerie $$ Church People Love Them Some Clinton Family!

  • Hillary won the Texas primary by four percentage points but she may actually wind up tied with Obama for the delegate count. Just trust me when I say I am outraged on her behalf. [Wonkette]
  • It's official: Rush Limbaugh won yesterday for Hillary. [Reason]
  • It's official: that leaked NAFTA document won yesterday for…
  • » 3/05/08 6:30pm 3/05/08 6:30pm

Join Barack Obama In His Phantom Tollbooth To The Land Of "Before They…

Barry, seriously. You know we love you, would marry you, have your illegitimate left-handed black Luo children, attend your Cheney family reunion etc. etc. But dude, "if Al Qaeda is forming a base in Iraq"? (P.S.: Seriously, why do all your freaking fans always cheer so rabidly every time you point out things like the… » 2/28/08 10:00am 2/28/08 10:00am

Obama Inspires Hillary To Plagiarize Her Own Inspiring Speech

Hillary Clinton gave a touching and beautiful closing statement at last night's debate about how she felt honored and blessed to be in the presence of Mr. Fairytale Commielover and that, whatever happens, "We'll be alright." But it turns out she just Xeroxed the statement from John Edwards! Get out the knives, boys… » 2/22/08 10:00am 2/22/08 10:00am