Conservative Congress Candidate Poses With Wholesome Horse Erection

You may not yet be familiar with congressional candidate Gary Kiehne, a hell of a guy who's all about family values, fighting abortion and making up statistics about who's responsible for mass shootings (democrats), but you're about to be. Because the guy's got a giant horse dong in his campaign ad. Won't somebody » 8/21/14 6:40pm 8/21/14 6:40pm

Liz Cheney Is Really, Really Wyoming, You Guys

Liz Cheney has released her first campaign ad as she runs for Senate in Wyoming, a state she's trying to convince the public she has deep roots in. That's proved difficult, given that she moved back in the fall of 2012 from Virginia and has faced criticism that she should have run for office in the state she was… » 11/14/13 10:40am 11/14/13 10:40am

Texas GOP Thinks Wendy Davis Is a Secret Agent from California

Wendy Davis is definitely, for sure, has-had-buttons-made-and-everything running for governor of Texas in the state’s 2014 Democratic primaries. Only a soothsayer would be able to tell you if she’s going to go on to win a general election and ensure that her state stops taking advice about women’s health policy from a… » 10/05/13 12:00pm 10/05/13 12:00pm

Reminder: Worst Person in Weiner Scandal Is Still Anthony Weiner

Much to the chagrin of the local tabloid headline writer, at this point it's probably safe to say that Anthony Weiner will not be the next mayor of New York City. But something odd has happened as this golden age of dick punmaking in the name of journalism draw to a close— suddenly, we're talking more about the… » 7/31/13 1:30pm 7/31/13 1:30pm

Hypothetically, Hillary Clinton Is For Sure Running for President

Speaking at a women’s lecture series in Toronto, noted HGTV enthusiast Hillary Clinton dropped a bombshell. An atomic bombshell. No, fuck that — she terraformed the political landscape with a new and shocking statement. Clinton told the unsuspecting crowd that she’d like to see a woman become president of the United… » 6/23/13 12:30pm 6/23/13 12:30pm

Hillary Clinton’s Presidential Poker Face Is Completely Inscrutable

Political Stratego champion Hillary Clinton is frustrating potential opponents in the 2016 presidential race by keeping her plans super secret. Is her "transition office" in a small corporate space on Connecticut Avenue in Washington D.C. the beehive of advance polling everyone thinks it is, or is it really just a… » 3/31/13 12:00pm 3/31/13 12:00pm

Watch Politicians Get Thrown Off Script When Disabled Adults Interview…

Politicians are completely full of it, especially during interviews with journalists, and especially during an election year. So what happens when a news team consisting of only developmentally disabled adults tries to get past the votemongering spin and to the truth? A new movie shares their eye-opening, hilarious,… » 10/19/12 6:40pm 10/19/12 6:40pm

Paul Ryan Promises to Undo Contraception Mandate, Be Awesome at Space…

As part of his ongoing effort to make sure that as few women vote for Mitt Romney as possible, Paul Ryan told the fine people of Orlando who'd spoiled their Saturdays by listening to Paul Ryan brag about how many times he'd ridden Tower of Terror that he would remove the Affordable Care Act's "contraception mandate",… » 9/23/12 12:00pm 9/23/12 12:00pm

Ann Romney Will Inevitably Annoy Voters, Says Mitt Romney

Ann Romney's frequently been utilized as a surrogate for her husband in his Presidential campaign, and it's no wonder. She's sweet, friendly, warm, and, most importantly SHE LOOOVES YOUUU WOMEN! But this week, Mittens himself admitted that there is such thing as Too Much Ann Romney, and that if the campaign isn't… » 9/19/12 1:30pm 9/19/12 1:30pm

Ann Romney Insists That Mittens Does So Have Empathy

This morning on Meet the Press, Ann Romney made an admirable effort to convince the American voters — you know, the folks, the ordinary guys and gals out there pinching pennies, tightening belts and opting for off-brand paper towels — that her husband and Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney wasn't, in fact,… » 9/09/12 9:30pm 9/09/12 9:30pm

Chelsea Clinton Is Starting to Realize that She Must Fulfill Her…

Chelsea Clinton may finally be ready to fulfill her political destiny and restore balance to the force, or, you know, at least run for office. In the September issue of Vogue, Clinton tantalizingly suggests that, if the planets aligned just and she had finally achieved the inner peace required to wade through the muck… » 8/14/12 11:55pm 8/14/12 11:55pm

Roseanne Is the Newest Presidential Candidate You Probably Won’t Be…

How does a presidential debate that pits Roseanne Barr against Mitt Romney and Barack Obama sound to you? If it sounds like possibly the most entertaining debate ever — complete with a whole reel of Mittens' awkward fidgeting — then you might be willing to listen to the Peace and Freedom Party's pitch to be included… » 8/05/12 3:30pm 8/05/12 3:30pm

Ann Romney Thinks Obama Wants to Kill Her Beloved Mitt

Some of you might have thought that President Obama has been campaigning by trying to tell people what he wants to do with this country, but if you believe what Ann Romney has to say about his strategy, it turns out he's actually secretly been trying to convince us to not vote for Mitt Romney. Bananas! » 7/05/12 11:55pm 7/05/12 11:55pm

Michelle Obama and Ann Romney Duke It Out Over Who Has the Better…

Their husbands may be going to head-to-head in a battle for control of the free world, but Ann Romney and Michelle Obama are right now locked in a heated fight of their own…the battle for cookie recipe supremacy. Oh Christ, are you serious? Yes, yes, it's that special time when the First Lady and her rival are forced… » 6/27/12 11:55pm 6/27/12 11:55pm

Condoleezza Rice Will Not Run for Vice President No Matter How Much We…

Mitt Romney and all of his rich Republican friends got together this past weekend in Utah to pal around and talk about the things rich people talk about. (Horses, horses, horses!) At this gathering, Condoleezza Rice gave a speech that very much impressed all of the big wigs, and immediately everyone was desperate for… » 6/26/12 9:00pm 6/26/12 9:00pm

Senate Candidate Wishes We'd All Stop Whining About the Poors and Their…

Poor Eric Hovde. He is just so sick of hearing of our sob stories about how we are poor and need help. No, Eric Hovde is not someone's crotchety old grandfather. He's a strapping young Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate in Wisconsin, and during a recent campaign presentation he accidentally revealed that he is… » 6/19/12 9:30am 6/19/12 9:30am

Senate Candidate Drowning in Campaign Money Buys Her Very Own TV Channel

Campaign ads are one of the worst parts of any election cycle, and the idea of having to watch them 24/7 sounds, frankly, like torture. That is why it seems very curious that Linda Lingle, a candidate for the U.S. Senate in Hawaii, has taken the unprecedented step of creating her own television channel to broadcast… » 6/18/12 10:00am 6/18/12 10:00am