Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? Is Beyoncé pregnant? — The sound and the fury of the Internet, signifying nothing except not minding its own beeswax. (Also, I bet Beyoncé's not pregnant.)

Baby weight: A thing that happens, sometimes. Ways to fix/change it: Tuna melts*, not caring, doing Zumba or some shit, more tuna melts, or encasing yourself in a chamber of horrors like Jessica Alba. In an interview with Net-a-Porter's magazine, Alba divulges her post-pregnancy weight-loss secret after giving birth…

The British anti-child abuse advocacy group Kidscape is pissed off that Gwyneth Paltrow hawks bikinis for four to eight year-olds in her latest GOOP newsletter. She captioned images of the swimwear, a collaboration with designer Melissa Odabash and exact replica of adult bikinis sold on the site, that it's "great for…

On a scale of 1 to Daddy Issues, Selena Gomez ranks among Sylvia Plath, Angelina Jolie and the daughter of the Dos Equis guy, if he has one. Not to mention, let's be honest, most of us.

Lindsay Lohan has moved back into her teenage bedroom on Long Island with mom/"cool mom"/party friend Dina because Thomas Wolfe was wrong: you CAN go home again. Supposedly she's returned home to help pay the mortgage on the Lohan family abode (although she herself is strapped for cash, so I don't really see how that'll…

Once upon a time, Cameron Diaz turned 40 and started making depressing and obvious statements to Access Hollywood like "Look, the alternative to getting older is [being dead]." Diaz has since found herself in what the tabloids are calling "a bit of a mid-life crisis" since her split from Alex Rodriguez and a fling with P. …

Recently Ashley Judd spoke to Senator Kirsten Gillibrand about possibly running for Senate in 2014. Alternatively, she might wait until 2016 to go up against Kentucky Republican and spawn of Ron Paul, Rand Paul. State Democratic senator Rep. John Yarmuth says that Judd's beyond your average pompous Hollywood liberal:…

So, this is the worst! Up to 27 animals died in their farm facility during the making of The Hobbit trilogy, which the wranglers involved in the production claim was "a death trap." Although the American Humane Association says no animals were harmed during the actual filming, they acknowledge that the wranglers'…

No Chris Martins Allowed! Poor Chris Martin! Not only does he have to live with Paltrow, he has to go places with her, too. It's just not a relationship I'd be comfortable with.

Tyra Banks, entrepreneur, self-declared "fivehead" and human being as delightful as she is batshit, denied to Steve Harvey that she was recently romanced by the much-younger Drake as well as her America's Next Top Model co-star Robert Evans. In the process, she unleashed a crazed monologue that invokes Sarah Kane at her…