Missouri Woman Finds Donald Trump's Face in Her Butter 

Like a miracle, except, you know, more of a dark omen of our certain and inexorable doom: a Missouri woman told a local news station that she awoke one morning and popped the lid off a tub of butter, only to find that it contained the face of Donald Trump. Evidently Jesus has fled and will not be appearing in… » 8/24/15 10:30am Monday 10:30am

Breast Milk Butter Is the Sweetest, Creamiest Thing You've Ever Tasted

If you've always wanted to make butter from human breast milk, but don't know how, the internet is pleased to provide you with something you might have never even known you wanted: A tutorial detailing the magical process of transforming the fluid found in one's mammaries into a delectable breakfast treat. And there… » 10/08/14 7:15pm 10/08/14 7:15pm

Apparently 'Butter Is Back.' I Didn't Realize It Had Gone Anywhere.

Yo! You can officially toss out your yellow-flavored aerosol spray-margarine! New meta-analysis indicates that, contrary to decades of not-at-all disingenuous hyperventilation by the diet industry, consumption of saturated fats does not actually increase a person's risk of heart disease. Fat in reasonable amounts, in… » 3/27/14 12:00pm 3/27/14 12:00pm

Black People Troll Paula Deen on Twitter, Hilarity Ensues

Tweeting from the doghouse—her current residence—Paula Deen was treading lightly, trying to avoid any racial controversy when she asked her followers what their favorite potluck dish is. She got a ton of responses! For example: "Black beans and white rice... On separate but equal plates, tho." » 7/12/13 2:30pm 7/12/13 2:30pm

Denmark Imposes The World's First 'Fat Tax'

If you are in Denmark, go to the store and load up on as much junk food as you can right now, because your government is about to start charging the world's first "fat tax" in an effort to keep you thinner and healthier. Don't worry this is not a tax on fat people. It's only a tax on fatty foods, which the government… » 9/30/11 3:40pm 9/30/11 3:40pm

Julia Child: International Woman Of Mystery

Awesome! It seems that during World War II, French Chef Julia Child was a spy - one can only assume the least inconspicuous spy in the history of the world. It has just been revealed that Child was part of an international anti-Nazi spy ring » 8/14/08 11:20am 8/14/08 11:20am managed by the Office of Strategic Services, an early version of the CIA. The…