Lindsay Lohan has moved back into her teenage bedroom on Long Island with mom/"cool mom"/party friend Dina because Thomas Wolfe was wrong: you CAN go home again. Supposedly she's returned home to help pay the mortgage on the Lohan family abode (although she herself is strapped for cash, so I don't really see how that'll…

Unfortunately, The Year That Love Died appears to be extending into 2013: Actress, vocal feminist and possible Kentucky senatorial candidiate Ashley Judd and her husband, three-time Indy 500 winner Dario Franchitti, are divorcing after eleven years of marriage, which is like a golden anniversary in celebrity years.

This is actually what Gen. Kurtz is referring to when he cries "The horror, the horror!" at the end of Heart Of Darkness: the exploits of the Klardashiarns take a bizarre turn on the upcoming episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami when Kourtney Kardashian dribbles some fresh breast milk onto Kim Kardashian's…

Well, Sarah Palin's three-year contract as a contributor at Fox News is finally up, and, strangely enough, they've decided not to re-up. Palin is out. I honestly have no idea why—is it their stringent adherence to journalistic ethics? Their disdain for self-aggrandizing liars? Their reluctance to heap airtime upon…

Today in unbaby news, after taking a stroll with Ashton Kutcher during which she displayed "significant roundness in the stomach area" over the weekend, Mila Kunis immediately got the baby-bump media treatment. Can we expect Ashmi spawn in the next 9 months?! What will they name her?! When will I get another job, and why …

• In the new issue of U.K. Harper's Bazaar, Megan Fox announces, "I've only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian [Austin Green]," not that it's any of our business.

• Lindsay Lohan thew a fit at the G-Star runway show:

• Is Jon Gosselin trying to look bad? He's returned the two family dogs to the breeder. "Jon blames Kate for having to give up the dogs," says a source. "Of course, these days Jon blames Kate for just about everything."

• Lindsay Lohan's Hollywood home was burglarized over the weekend. Dina Lohan says:

I usually do not wax. Mostly because I'm cheap and lazy. The state of my pubes generally has nothing to do with whether or not I'm getting some: it's semi-seasonal but mostly whim-based. Like last week I looked down in the shower and I was like Jesus, my area looks like Burt Reynolds' chest! So i decided to get a wax,…