Brooklyn Hipsters Robbing Locally, Stealing Vintage Bear Sex Jewelry

If you live in Brooklyn, you'd better get all that shit you bought off Etsy and put it in some kind of whimsical vault with a vintage vinyl covering, because hipsters are coming for you and your OOAK bear sex ring. (And they're taking cameras, too. How else they gonna take some dope selfies?) » 1/30/15 3:45pm 1/30/15 3:45pm

Burglars Butt-Dial 911 in the Middle Of a Robbery

Butt dialing, it happens to everyone. Sometimes you're on the receiving end (I once listened to my cousin try to pick up some "fly honeys" at a bar) and sometimes you're on the giving end. No matter how you slice it, it's always an awkward situation. And it was particularly awkward for two men who tried to rob an auto… » 4/12/14 12:26pm 4/12/14 12:26pm

Buckingham Break-In Bungled by Two Bumbling Burglars, Say Bobbies

British police say they’ve arrested two burglars (perhaps of the feline variety?) after a break-in at Buckingham Palace this week. Everybody take a moment to chill the fuck out, because the Queen wasn’t in any danger, because the Queen has one thousand houses on one thousand different plots of land, any one of which… » 9/07/13 12:00pm 9/07/13 12:00pm

Woman Kills Intruder After Asking 911 Operator For Permission To Shoot…

For Sarah McKinley of Blanchard, Oklahoma the past few weeks have been unbelievably harrowing. First, the 18-year-old's husband died of lung cancer on Christmas. Then on New Year's eve two men tried to break in her house while she was home alone with her infant son. One of the men made it through her front door, and… » 1/04/12 11:53pm 1/04/12 11:53pm

Prolific Lesbian Burglars Thwarted By Lion

Today in unfortunate news about criminals who happen to be homosexual women we have the case of Harley Rose Gifford and Britney Singleton, both 19, who burglarized 29 homes in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania this summer. Oh, also — Britney and Harley are "lesbian lovers." Not "girlfriends" or "a couple" or "dating" — I… » 9/20/11 5:40pm 9/20/11 5:40pm