Buckingham Break-In Bungled by Two Bumbling Burglars, Say Bobbies

British police say they’ve arrested two burglars (perhaps of the feline variety?) after a break-in at Buckingham Palace this week. Everybody take a moment to chill the fuck out, because the Queen wasn’t in any danger, because the Queen has one thousand houses on one thousand different plots of land, any one of which… » 9/07/13 12:00pm 9/07/13 12:00pm

Queen Elizabeth Seeks Royal Dishwasher, Clumsy Butterfingers Need Not…

Rumor has it that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth of England could use a hand. A pair of hands, actually. On the Official Website of the British Monarchy, one will find a job listing for a position known as "General Catering Assistant (Wash-up)." Your mission, should you choose to accept it — er, be chosen to accept it: » 1/08/13 4:10pm 1/08/13 4:10pm

Queen’s Open Call for House Elf Replacement Is a Great Opportunity for…

Anyone who's lived in or visited the British Isles is certainly familiar with Mother Fog, who removes each child's rain-slicked macintosh from their shoulders, serves them a restorative spot of tea, tucks them in at night, and wakes them with the smell of frying kippers and sausages. Yes, anthropomorphized fog can do… » 10/21/12 4:00pm 10/21/12 4:00pm

War Hero Proposes At Buckingham Palace

A British soldier gave his nuptials some royal panache by proposing to his girlfriend at Buckingham Palace, moments after he was awarded a medal for bravery while serving in Afghanistan. Royal Marine Mark Jackson told Prince Charles his plan as he was presenting the award, then dropped down on one knee. She said yes. » 6/23/11 5:54pm 6/23/11 5:54pm

Isaiah Washington Needs To Stick A Sock — Or Some Other Implement — In…

  • Isaiah Washington — for the love of God — please keep your mouth shut. The latest from everyone's favorite fired homophobe? That ABC lied when saying that he had gone to rehab since "there is no rehab for homophobia." (Thanks to Slut Machine for this awesome graphic.) [People]
  • New studies show that domestic cats are…
  • » 6/28/07 7:10pm 6/28/07 7:10pm