In today's Tweet Beat, Santa visited Oliva Wilde's beach house ten days early, everyone loves D'Angelo and Brooke Shields is very convincing.

Here is a picture of sentient Deviant Art archive Benedict Cumberbatch cheesing it up with a man in costume as a giant cartoon penguin, at a New York City event for the premiere of Penguins of Madagascar. Ah, the theater!

Retreating into your cave for the winter? Don't forget a big stack of books! What have you preordered? Anything in particular got you counting down the days? In the meantime, here are a few new November titles teetering at the top of my TBR pile.

In today's Tweet Beat, LeAnne Rimes has been lugging many, many pumpkins, Brooke Shields is kind of a badass and you can help decide what Susan Saradon should be for Halloween,

Hahahahahaahahahahaaahahahaahaahahhahaahahahaah. Ha. HA. Girls Gone Wild founder/angry orange hexagon Joe Francis was just sentenced to 270 days in county jail for attacking a woman at his mansion in 2011.

Jenny McCarthy might join everyone's (or just my) favorite show The View! Or at least, that's what her minions want people to think so that she can edge out Brooke Shields for the hearts of Americans country-wide. As for my heart, it's torn. On the one hand, I love Brooke Shields non-ironically. On the other hand, …

Has the mobile mammogram bus in your town ever lost funding and you wondered what to do about it? And you're middle-aged and so you thought the best course of action would be to have a fundraiser in the form of charity basketball game where you played some girls high school basketball stars? And, just for kicks,…

Although Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston, Chandler Bing and that duck called a truce at some point, as Brangelina's and Jenreaux's (?) marriages draw nearer, threatening to even land sort of around the same time, some obvious problems become apparent.

While Adele is OK with her weight, occasionally the Internet is not. "I read a comment on YouTube that I thought would upset me — ‘Test pilot for pies' — but I've always been fine with it. I would only lose weight if it affected my health or sex life, which it doesn't." Shit, yes. You can't help but wonder what…

Gwynnie says she's recently discovered that her great-great-great-grandfather was a "miracle worker" and "Kabbalah master," who also saved his shtetl from a fire. Then he guest-starred on Glee and released a cookbook. [Contact Music]

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are skipping the Oscars this year because Anne Hathaway's hosting. Like a humorless Wu Tang Clan for the next generation, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ain't nothin' to fuck with.

One of the most uncomfortable truths about the fashion industry is that most models begin working when they are in their early teens or even tweens; they are children. In this editorial, Vogue Paris cuts right to the chase.

• A spokesperson for Russell Brand and Katy Perry called the newlyweds "Mr. and Mrs. Brand." It all feels so different now.

Brooke Shields still fits in the Calvin Klein jeans from her iconic 1980 ads. "I looked like a sausage," she said on Ellen, "but I was going to get them zipped up if it was the last thing I did."

• Marion Cotillard was shot, and apparently not retouched, by Bruce Weber for the cover of Italian Vanity Fair. Certainly it's preferable to that hackjob of a Vogue cover she was subjected to, but isn't the pose a bit awkward? [HuffPo]

[New York, July 7, 1981. Brooke Shields captured by paparazzi on the streets of New York City]

[New York, June 3. Image via INF]

• Anna Wintour is going all NIMBY on restaurateur Serge Becker. Becker has a new Jamaican restaurant opening near Wintour's West Village townhouse, and she's warned him not to plan any parties there that might generate noise — or smells. [PX]

• According to TMZ, Tila Tequila is set to join the next cast of Celebrity Rehab for an unspecified addiction, though the show is having trouble attracting any other participants and may never actually air. [TMZ]