In today’s Tweet Beat, Britney Spears has a good day, Gabby Douglas is on the mend and I have no idea what Crystal Hefner is trying to say.

Did you know a record could go diamond? I, dear readers, did not. Apparently the terminology applies to records that have sold 10 million units (i.e. 10x platinum). This information is relevant because Adele’s 25 has gone diamond.

In today’s Tweet Beat, Jada Pinkett Smith got a great gift, Donald Glover flexes and Britney Spears misses that place.

Britney Spears’ lawyers have reportedly sent a sternly worded legal notice cautioning In Touch not to to move forward with a story about Spears’ alleged “erratic” behavior at the MTV VMAs.

Heroic G-Eazy kiss denier Britney Spears is reportedly so pissed off at MTV right now because she assumed she would be the “headliner” of the VMAs, and feels like second-tier (or worse!) compared to Rihanna and Beyonce.

Britney Spears’s ninth studio album, Glory, is out today, and a return to the ebullient, ear-candy synth pop that is her wheelhouse. It’s pretty good, actually! Spears has never sounded so comfortable or present on record. In fact, she may be too comfortable at times. The sonic freshness Spears’s producers provide is…

I don’t know about you all but I’m settling back into things nicely. The gavel feels smooth in my hand and my robe still fits. Still, as was the case before my retirement, I continue to be trolled by people with delusions of cleverness.

We’ve been threatened with this edition of Carpool Karaoke for what feels like months and it’s finally here. Britney Spears is sent from above to at times sing, and at other times leave all the musical heavy lifting to James Corden. How much of this guy’s life is spent memorizing lyrics?

Britney Spears has made so many comebacks, but this most recent one is my favorite by far. She won us over with her crazy Instagram feed, kept us coming back with new accessible pop hits, and now she’s letting us enjoy all her past dramas, difficulties, and breakdowns one more time.

Britney Spears teamed up with the Red Cross to mobilize her fan base and raise money for the devastating flooding in Louisiana by auctioning the clothes off her back – exciting news for both Britney Spears fans and RuPaul’s Drag Race season eight contestant Derrick Barry who has probably already thrown at least $500…

In today’s Tweet Beat, Quvenzhané Wallis makes you feel old, Britney Spears shares a very natural photo and Debbie Allen wins Throwback Thursday.

Really cool woman and master prankster Britney Spears will release her ninth album later this month. It’s called Glory and is a collection of emotionally stirring tracks written by John Legend and Common—oh wait, no, it’s just more pop.

On Sunday morning, Backup Queen of Las Vegas Britney Spears was a guest on the Kyle and Jackie O Show to talk about her new music, but that’s not important. What’s important is that, when asked whether she would rather hang out with Katy Perry or Taylor Swift, Spears said she’d prefer to hang with Taylor. Why, you…

In today’s Tweet Beat, Britney Spears can literally buy that car, Ryan Reynolds muses on fatherhood and Julie Stiles is just as scared as the rest of us.

Instagram master and walking benzo Britney Spears released the first single from her upcoming ninth album Thursday night. The song is called “Make Me,” and is a smooth, Ariana Grande-esque ballad about someone who makes Britney “oooooh.” Spears is accompanied by rapper G-Eazy (whose real name is Gerard Earl Gillum,…

Here’s a half-cute, half-bleak Friday story for you. Sean and Jaden Federline hate it—absolutely hate it—when their Britney Spears, their mother, assumes the identity of Britney Spears, the popstar.

I have crawled out of my Orange is the New Black season four k-hole to let you all know that North West and Penelope Disick had a joint birthday party this weekend, and the attire was strictly fins and tails (i.e., mermaid-themed). Obviously, what I’m most interested in is the fact that each birthday girl got their…

In today’s Tweet Beat, will.i.am is cruising around, Britney Spears poses with a fan and I’m having a hard time believing Ryan Reynolds had to drive anywhere for twelve hours.

I am inspired by Britney Spears’ Memorial Day weekend.

If this quote, Instagrammed Wednesday by one Britney Jean Spears, makes it seem like our favorite smiler bought a cultural studies textbook and started playing telephone with herself in the privacy of her own consciousness, that’s because that’s exactly what she’s doing.