In general, I am suspicious of the wedding dress. In the specific case of the wedding dresses shown at the 2017 spring bridal collections, I think I hate them.

What’s a gal to do if the experience of buying a crystal-studded Pnina Tornai at Kleinfeld’s just isn’t special enough? Well, for merely the price of a used Mercedes (or a new Nissan), she can spend the morning consulting with a bridal magazine editor.

You know who is probably not being showered with enough gifts and attention just for making the huge relationship decision she and her significant other made recently? The bride-to-be in your life. Hear me out.

Hot new wedding trend, allegedly: bridal bouquets straight-up made of vegetables.

A groom is a man who does nothing to help with the wedding besides show up. A “groomzilla,” at least according to a new GQ essay, is apparently a man who has ideas about his wedding at all, or maybe even (gasp) plans it.

On the latest episode of HBO’s T&A tour de force Game of Thrones, we once again saw poor Sansa Stark unhappily enter a marriage over which she has zero control, this time to violent psychopath Ramsay Bolton. Bummer, but look at that dress! Perfect for a woodsy winter wedding, no?

If there’s one thing that terrifies me about getting married, it’s that there won’t be enough powder and contouring to make me look good in my photos. So it’s understandable that a bride got very upset when the photographer she hired called her ugly on Facebook.

A Google search composed of the words “what kind bride you” yields around 52 million results. This comforts me because I’ve been engaged for around 4 months now and I still don’t know “what kind bride am.” Clearly, I am not alone. I have 14 months before my wedding and people say the time flies, so I need to know.

Far more fun than gawking at the gowns for bridal fashion week is imagining what kind of person would wear them. Shows like Bridezillas and Say Yes to the Dress have magnified our curiosity in bridal archetypes, and the very specific, very crucial ways a bridal gown reflects its wearer. If your personal style is the…

The dress. Oh, sweet Jesus, the dress. For some brides, it's no big deal. It's just a dress. For others, it's the most important fashion moment of their lives. Either way, the process of finding your wedding gown sucks pomander balls. If your dress quest was super chill and easy, I'm happy to hear that — but this…

Forget about lifting the veil — lift the dress! That is the insane logic applied to this alleged trend of getting the entire bridal party to lift their dresses and stick out their asses for a phun photo op. If this is a real thing, might I suggest that it is the duckface of bridal photo. Except, you know asses.

The run up to the Sochi Olympics has been characterized by paranoia, fear, and copious media references to Vladimir Putin's oft-bare chest. Thank goodness we have these truly wacky Russian wedding photography to distract us from all that terrorism!