Apparently a Thing: Crop-Top Wedding Dresses

Great news if you're looking to plan the trendiest wedding of all time: The Knot has just released a list of "top trends" for the year. And apparently, 90s nostalgia is going to unleash a flood of—brace yourselves, ladies—crop-top wedding dresses. » 1/08/14 11:40am 1/08/14 11:40am

Bride Demands Gift From Friend, Receives an Awesome Smackdown Instead

Crazy brides are so hot right now/always/especially on TLC. Our latest crazy bride is "Brandy," a woman so deluded by her own right to that cash $$$ that she has inadvertently revealed the true depths of tragedy that make up the wedding industrial complex. » 10/05/13 4:30pm 10/05/13 4:30pm

This Terrifying Bride Is Only Joking Except When She's Not

Everyone has a friend—a terrifying, beautiful friend—who wields humor the way ranchers wield cattle prods; who jokes, and teases, and Just kidding!s her underlings ("BFFs!") toward the cliff-edge of nervous breakdown; whose sadism is impossible to fight against because it's just a joke, why can't you take a joke? » 9/19/13 11:00am 9/19/13 11:00am

Badass Journalist Bride Leaves Her Own Wedding to Cover Earthquake

Chen Ying, a TV reporter at a news station in China, was on her way up the aisle to say "I do" (in Chinese, presumably) when a massive earthquake hit the city of Ya'an, where she was getting married. Instead of being all, "Whatever, today's all about me so you can take that earthquake and shove it up your ass," Ying ran to … » 4/22/13 12:05pm 4/22/13 12:05pm

Internet Weddings Will Probably Be Bad for Rom-Coms, Personal Hygiene

Now that more people are using the Internet than have ever used the Internet before, a new study has revealed that brides-to-be, who are also people with all the agency and horror that personhood entails, are more likely to use the Internet to quickly disseminate news of their successful nuptials. Are you stunned?… » 3/24/13 12:30pm 3/24/13 12:30pm

Irresponsible Brides-to-Be are Splurging on Weddings While Their…

Everyone (or anyone who has ever picked up a women's magazine, watched reality TV, gone to the movies, lived on this earth, etc) knows that ladies start planning their weddings the moment they emerge from the womb. But it turns out that UK men actually used to want to spend more than their future brides on weddings… » 6/22/12 3:35pm 6/22/12 3:35pm

Strapless Wedding Dresses, We Are on to Your Bullshit

It's not a secret that strapless bridal dresses are about as ubiquitous as that scene in movies where the officiant asks people in attendance at a wedding to speak up or forever hold their peace and someone speaks up, with comical results. But why? Strapless gowns are nearly universally unflattering, they're tough to… » 5/18/12 1:20pm 5/18/12 1:20pm

The Exquisite Pain of Performing for a Bachelorette Party

One of my goals as a performer is to never become jaded with it, which is surprisingly easy, even when you're a professional sword swallower who introduces strippers. And when I hear the curtains whoosh open and get the spotlight in my eyes, I fall in love — with my life, with my work, with my audience. That is, until… » 5/10/12 5:00pm 5/10/12 5:00pm

Let's Get Skinny for Our Weddings With Nose Tubes and Desperation!

Hey, all you engaged ladies out there!!! Now that you've found the love of your life and have tricked him into buying you a conflict diamond, it's time for you to focus on the next step in your life: becoming insufferable, and gradually completely unhinged as you prepare for your big, important Princess Day! Today's… » 4/13/12 6:00pm 4/13/12 6:00pm

If You're Not Getting Hitched as a Fictional Character, You're Doing It…

First we saw lots and lots of Disney-inspired brides. Then an Avatar wedding and Alice In Wonderland engagement photos. Now Twilight- and Hunger Games-themed engagement shoots. Nothing says true love like "I wish we were both someone else." Someone propose to me quick, I have an idea for a John Carter wedding: You spend… » 3/30/12 12:40pm 3/30/12 12:40pm