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breast intentions

Were all those years of feeling ourselves up for naught? A new study shows that breast self-exams might not actually reduce cancer deaths. "In fact," MSNBC reports, "the often-recommended monthly chore may even do more harm than good, according to the group’s analysis of a pair of studies of nearly 400,000 Chinese and Russian women." Dr. David B. Thomas, a breast epidemiologist and author of the study, explains that self-exams often just lead to biopsies of benign tumors, aka unnecessary surgical procedures. "If a woman is highly motivated — let’s say her mother or sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer — then of course she should practice breast self-exam," Thomas notes. "But that’s a different situation than trying to reach women on a mass scale. Our study shows that that’s probably a waste of time. You’re not going to get women sufficiently motivated to practice it well enough and frequently enough to make that big of a difference.” [MSNBC]

breast intentions

For Some Women, Big Boobs Are A Pain In The Butt (And Back And Neck)

We often hear about women who are unhappy with their breast size, but it's usually those with smaller breasts who wish they were bigger. The BBC documentary My Big Breasts and Me explores the flip side of the coin: Women with very large, natural breasts who suffer both physical and psychological repercussions from such their "heavy" burdens. One of the women featured is 23-year-old Jodi, who is 5'1 with a bra size of 28K. She says it's difficult to find a bra that fits her well, and studying to be a musician, she also says that her breasts get in the way when she plays piano. Her back hurts often, and she said that it's nearly impossible to run. For 19-year-old Maddy, who wears a size F, the problem is more about fashion. She finds that her breasts limit her wardrobe options (I feel her on that one; so sick of sack dresses), and she feels the need to wear large blousy tops that hide her boobs, and make her look less like "a porn star." Clip above.

breast intentions

Cleavage At Work: Yay Or Nay?

Can we talk about cleavage? Specifically in a work-related context? A piece by Christina Brinkley in today's Wall Street Journal has a quote from Gail Graham, executive vice president of marketing for Fidelity Investments, who recounts how respected co-worker showed up at a business dinner in a "practically" backless dress that showed cleavage. Male colleagues were talking about it days later. Graham states: "It became the story about her. You want the story to be about you and your accomplishments. There's no greater crime [for a businesswoman] than to show cleavage." Surely Angela Merkel would disagree! But seriously: Is it possible to maintain an air of professionalism and earn respect at work when your boobs are on display? More »

Today on Martha, Joan Rivers dropped by to help Martha Stewart make chocolate-covered matzah. Said Joan: "Every time I see matzah, it reminds me of my chest: Flat and covered in brown spots."

A woman in Greenville, S.C. is suing Victoria's Secret, saying that the retailer's bras are "unsafe" and that she had been badly hurt by one when was stabbed by a bra's underwire. We say she should be suing them for making bras that are tacky and poorly made. That hurts so much more. [Greenville Online]

Breast Intentions More not-surprising news from the fashion overlords: Boobs are "out" this season. Which is fine and dandy if you're a gay man who dresses (and hates) women but, uh, good luck successfully shilling that message to the ladies! [Telegraph]

File this under Plastic Surgery Procedures That Scare The Shit Out Of Us: The "boob jab" (no, not a boob job) involves having one's breasts injected with a hyaluronic acid-based filler. Patients are said to go up a cup size, will most likely emerge bruised, and if they want to keep their faux-boobs, they'll have to have the procedure repeated annually, for $4,000 a pop — no pun intended — because after 12-months, the hyaluronic acid is absorbed by the body, causing deflation. Verdict: Do. Not. Want. [BellaSugar]

breast dressed

"Contour" Bras: Holding Us Up, Or Holding Us Back?

Do you find it torturous to go bra shopping because 95% of what's available falls into the "contoured" bra category? As in: the bras that are supposed to be "lined" when really, they're just padded, unyielding cups? For some of us with larger breasts, it is torturous, because contour bras can make it even more difficult to button our shirts. But more importantly, these bras make it impossible for those of us who wish to use our nipples to our advantage, since the cups are designed to hide them. A story on the New York Observer's website today reports on the troubling trend that makes finding a sexy bra such a chore.
'I always try and push them, because it gives a better lift and you don't see the nipples peeking through,' said Heather, a young lingerie saleswomen in mod makeup, a black mini-dress and furry boots who was working at Saks Fifth Avenue's lingerie department the other day, holding a hanger with two silky but sturdy cups dangling from straps.
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breast intentions

With Great Breast Size Comes Great Responsibility

In an essay from today's Salon, staffer Sarah Hepola laments the tyranny of her enormous ta tas, a size which she calls "34 ridiculous". "I am embarrassed by my knockers," Hepola writes. "And the fact that something I am embarrassed about is the first thing people notice about me? Well, that kinda sucks. I feel like I could save a baby from a burning building, I could cure cancer with glitter alone, and I would still be referred to as 'Sarah, you know, the short one with the big tits.'"

Sadly, Hepola is so terrified to go bra shopping that she puts it off for years. And although her trips to NYC bra meccas Town Shop and Orchard Corset were successful in that she found bras that fit, they didn't exactly make her feel like a sex goddess — most of the bras looked like they could be used to "parachute out of a plane."

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Did Janet Jackson's exposed breast sound the death knell for women performing during the Super Bowl halftime show? The brand new Pagesix.com calls our attention to the fact that since Janet's Nipplegate in 2004, only male rockers over 40 have performed during the big game. The 2008 pick? Decrepit Tom Petty. In 2005, Paul McCartney performed, followed by the Rolling Stones in '06 and Prince in '07. Dear NFL: The image of a withered, shirtless Mick Jagger was much more retinally damaging than a little ol' surgically enhanced nipple.
[Page Six]

A new study shows that urban dwellers might be at a greater risk for breast cancer than their rural counterparts. Researchers at the the London Breast Institute found that women who lived in London had "significantly denser breasts than those living outside the city," says Science Daily. Women with dense breasts as opposed to fatty breasts are four times more likely to develop breast cancer. The head of the London Breast Institute, Dr. Nicholas M. Perry, stresses the importance of regular mammograms for all women regardless of geographical location. [Science Daily]

breast intentions

British Women Have Enormous Breasts

British department store Marks & Spencer is rolling out a J-cup bra, and it has newspapers all over England tittering about the increasing size of the average woman's breasts. The Mirror insists that the average bra size in the UK is 34DD/34E, while the Daily Mail says the median breast size in England is a mere 36C, up from a 34B a generation ago. Regardless, both papers discuss the reasons behind the growth of women's breasts in the past ten years. They tend to attribute the increased bustiness to a combination of weight gain, birth-control pills and possibly artificial hormones in the food supply.

67-year-old granny Barbara Haywood tells the Daily Mail, "In my day it was only old, stout ladies who had big bosoms - the sort who might lean over the garden fence and talk to the neighbours. But today it's young women, such as my granddaughter Miranda, who seem to wear the biggest bra sizes."

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A group of Swedish women in the activist group Bara Brost (which translates as 'Just Breasts') are fighting for their right to sunbathe topless."I think it's a problem that women are sexualized in this way. If women are forced to wear a top, shouldn't men also have to?" they say. Also: "We want our breasts to be as 'normal' and desexualized as men's, so that we too can pull off our shirts at football matches." Topless football? Sounds like something Hugh Hefner would dream up. [UPI]

Earlier this week we mentioned a recent study showing that breast feeding could possibly raise IQ in newborns. Slate dissects the scientific background behind the findings, but what's remarkable and icky about the article is when writer Emily Bazelon gets all TMI and says in her intro, "My friends who quit [nursing] at three months seemed like rebels. And when I cut off my sons, after more than a year each, I felt a little heartless because I know so many kids who zealously nursed into toddlerhood." Into toddlerhood?!? I will paraphrase an early Sex and the City episode on this one. If they're old enough to ask for it, you probably shouldn't be breastfeeding them anymore. [Slate]

You know all that hullabaloo always going on regarding the merits of breastfeeding? It seems that breast milk is only going to make your kid smarter if they are genetically predisposed to, uh, be smarter. A gene that influences how we process nutrients has been identified. And when it's present in a child who has been breastfed, that kid has higher IQ. But if it's not there, a child doesn't benefit, IQ-wise, from breastfeeding at all. So what does that mean for mommies? When it comes to feeding your kids, do whatever the hell you want. Except you, Britney. [NYT]

Since National Breast Cancer Awareness month is almost over, magazines and newspapers are reaaally scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to fear-mongering cancer-scare articles. They've already trotted out the terrorizingregulars, so now they're coming for our pets! According to ABC News, now you have to worry about Fido and Fluffy getting breast cancer, too. "Beloved household pets can also develop cancer in the breast tissue — known in animals as mammary cancer. In fact, cancer is the No. 1 natural cause of death in older pets." Thanks, ABC, for reminding us of our precious mortality. Jerks. [ABC News]

British researchers are developing the prototype for a bra that could help detect early stages of breast cancer. The "smart bra" uses microwave antennae to pick up on temperature changes that "could denote an increase of blood flow to a developing tumor," scientists say. Though microwave technology is not meant to be a substitute for traditional approaches like mammography, MRIs and self-exams, the "smart bra" in tandem with these methods could help detect tumors in their earliest stages. Sure beats a regular old Maidenform. [ABC News]

breast intentions

What Does It Take For A 32A To Get Hired By Hooters?

Did you hear? It's National Breast Cancer Awareness Month! And interestingly — creepily? — just three days into the titular celebration, the breasts 'n wings restaurant chain Hooters held a big blowout to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its first Manhattan outpost. A Hooters virgin until then (and a woman with the upper torso of a five-year-old [Stop bragging. -Ed.]), it took all the courage I could muster to face the room of bigger breasts I was certain to encounter. Luckily, I had surrogate brother/cleavage connoisseur Nikola Tamindzic by my side, and he helped me quiz the well-endowed women in attendance about what it takes (besides big tits!) to get hired as a down-home Hooters girl. Their responses, and a gallery from the party, after the jump. More »