Good Morning! Enjoy a Carton of Cereal-Flavored Milk

Cereal is awesome, isn't it? Well, except for all that chewing and sogginess, cereal is pretty awesome, but, jeez, doesn't your jaw get tired from masticating all those corn shavings and marshmallow bits? It'd be way better if you could just get that cloying cereal taste without all the effort, if cereal just slid… » 4/16/13 10:25am 4/16/13 10:25am

Ever Notice That There Aren’t Any Female Breakfast Cereal Mascots?

This sunny, almost-warm Sunday morning, CBS put together a cheerful little slideshow featuring the most eccentric and, dare we say, demented breakfast cereal mascots. The slideshow featured retro iterations of Tony the Tiger, the homoerotic trio of rice-puffing elves, Snap, Crackle and Pop, Franken Berry, the Quaker… » 4/07/13 6:00pm 4/07/13 6:00pm

Breakfast Is a Liar, Might Not Even Be the Most Important Meal of the…

Well, well, well. How the mighty have fallen. Tell me, breakfast, after so many years of being on top, of being shoved down our throats as the most important meal of the day, of feeding us lies, what does it feel like to suddenly be at the bottom? Not that good, I'll bet. Maybe you should try commiserating with your… » 2/07/13 11:45am 2/07/13 11:45am

Enjoy Your Frosted Mini-Wheats, Now with More Metal Bits!

Kellogg, that cursive-adoring purveyor of fine, sugary breakfast cereals, is recalling one of its most asymmetrical cereals — Frosted Mini-Wheats. According to the Wall Street Journal, the company will shell out a cool $30 million to cover a recall of Frosted Mini-Wheats in the U.S. due to a possible contamination by… » 10/12/12 9:30am 10/12/12 9:30am

Your Breakfast Is Trying to Murder You: Eggs Are Almost as Bad for You …

You know what? Fuck it. I'm calling it. Everyone just do whatever you want. We're all going to die, we're all going to get cancer, and with a new study coming out every day about some other seemingly innocuous thing that's methodically dissolving your brain, I say we all find a hot tub somewhere and chill out. » 8/14/12 7:00pm 8/14/12 7:00pm

Bea Arthur's Breakfast Recipe

Despite the fact that Dorothy Zbornak was often found hunched over a slice of cheesecake in Golden Girls episodes, in real life, Bea Arthur was health-conscious and vegetarian. In the just-relesed The Dead Celebrity Cookbook by Frank DeCaro, he details Bea's eating habits in a chapter aptly titled, "Thank You For… » 11/10/11 4:55pm 11/10/11 4:55pm