brangelina - Jezebel

posts about #brangelina more →
Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Angelina To Adopt Baby No. 7
Global/Affairs
Inglorious Duds, Inglourious Basterds, Brangelina. Haiku.
Alba's A Vandal; Beyoncé's A Diva; Brad's Artsy-Fartsy
Brangelina Put The Cart Before The _________
Brad & Angelina's World Tour Is Making Them Weary
Brad & Angelina: Paris Match
Angie & Brad: Wir Alle Sind Berliner
Brad & Angie: Wine-bar Republic

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LaComtesse
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Hortense my love, brill as usual. For 4, 2, and 6 I'm thinking

"Brad/Angelina were only too happy to get away from Angelina/Brad at the recent opening at LACMA. 'Brad/Angelina needs his/her space,' says a source, 'And s/he's doesn't respect that. S/he just wants more babies and s/he thinks 'Enough is enough!'"
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Edited by LaComtesse at 11/15/09 6:50 PM LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred

NewsBunny
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Hortense, I would like to give you superprops for your POWERFUL VAGAINA Analysis.

Bravo. #storytime
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sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Really, I'm just waiting for the press to start pairing their exes together. For example,

Picture 4: Angie digs in her pocket for her cell phone so she can call Jen to ask how the former Friends star's upcoming nuptials to Billy Bob Thornton are going. After that, she'll text Gwyneth to ask when she'll be leaving Chris Martin for Jonny Lee Miller. #storytime
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Bunsen Honeydew
11/15/09

@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit): And then Billy Bob will leave Jen for Juliette Lewis and Jen will rekindle her friendship with Laura Dern.

Fun! #storytime
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kookla
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Like most of you, I studied these photos and thought to myself, "Why am I studying these photos?" I would like to know a little more about the art. Life&Style, I'm talking to you. #storytime
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midwesternmom
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Brad hopes that his chin ladder will grow quickly and allow him to escape from the gilded cage where Angelina keeps him imprisoned. He wishes he still had Jen's hairdresser on speed dial, for some quick beard extensions. #storytime
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Slim
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Breaking!: Brad Leaving Angie because once again she looks prettier than him, even though she's wearing crushed velvet. "Brad knows Jen would've never worn crushed velvet and upstaged him at the same time," says an old rubber ducky Maddox used to play with. #storytime
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hortense promoted this comment Slim was starred Slim was unstarred

TheUptightMidwesterner
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
"Brad's Undying Love for Jennifer is Slowly Turning Him Into A Billy Goat! "
WTF is up with that beard?? #storytime
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karmasutra är svensk
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
PITT HAS ANNOUNCED HIS INTENTION TO BE CAST AS A WEREWOLF IN NEXT TWILIGHT MOVIE.
No word yet on if his beard has earned him the part. #storytime
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hortense promoted this comment

BAngieB
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
#5

BRANGELINA TIE THE NIGHT IN INTIMATE GALLERY CEREMONY. #storytime
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pesematology
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
HER DRESS HAS POCKETS?!?! I love it. #brangelina
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SUNNY1
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
She is wearing all black, which represents her innate evil. He is almost consumed by the blackness, but a bit of resilient white peeps through with his shirt, even as the black tie tries to strangle him. This totally means he's leaving her for Jen and Angelina is desperately trying to fight it. #brangelina
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ZombieEmpress
11/15/09

In reply to Let's Make A Scandal: Totally Fake Brangelina Headline Edition
Is it just me or do both Brad and Angie look like wax statues in all the pictures? Has their relationship caused them to transform into inatimate objects? #brangelina
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pesematology
11/15/09

@ZombieEmpress: They have actually been living on Mars for about 5 years now. They have dummies of themselves to do public stuff on Earth. Sort of like Kraftwerk. #brangelina
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Scout
11/15/09

@ZombieEmpress: thing is, these ARE wax figures - the real deals simply don't have time to attend some lame artsy fartsy event.

There is a reason why you see no other people save for the one guy (frame #3) who is responsible for moving the figures.

good eye. #brangelina
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Scout
11/15/09

@ZombieEmpress: ....the wax figures will undoubtedly be auctioned off for charity, next year, so look for that!
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Edited by Scout at 11/15/09 3:29 PM Scout was starred Scout was unstarred

hortense
11/15/09

@Scout: Sorry guys, no wax. Surprisingly, it's really them. #storytime
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gobblegirl
11/15/09

@hortense: that's what they WANT you to think. Sheeple! #storytime
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Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
11/11/09

In reply to Angelina To Adopt Baby No. 7
Or it could be that an unmarried couple is not allowed to adopt, so they're dancing around that. #angelinajolie
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limber
11/11/09

@Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: That's what I'd assume. Lots of countries start out adopting to qualified interested parents, and then slowly narrow the scope to knock off the gays, the "partners" and then single people. Ethiopia was one of the recent examples.

Though the Syria thing surprises me and makes the whole story suspect. Egypt just imprisoned two foreign families for adopting, because adoption's not recognized by law. I don't remember Syria being on any of the lists I looked at when I was researching. #angelinajolie
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HannahBethD
11/11/09

In reply to Angelina To Adopt Baby No. 7
I'm getting extremely annoyed and borderline offended that people are insinuating that having an addictive personality/OCD means you can't possibly have lots of children because you want them.

Are any of ya'll Ms. Jolie's mental health care provider? No? Then please, refrain from armchair psychology. It just makes life harder for those of us who do deal with OCD/addiction. #angelinajolie
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yvanehtnioj
11/11/09

@HannahBethD: My favorite is the comment that "It doesn't take a degree in psychiatry..."

Yes, actually it does. More than that, it takes actually interacting with the patient. Who knew Frist was a Jezebel?

#science!
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Edited by yvanehtnioj at 11/11/09 2:32 PM yvanehtnioj was starred yvanehtnioj was unstarred

AlmostDream
11/11/09

@HannahBethD: Agreed. Commentors would lose their shit if someone implied that a woman who didn't want any children had a mental disorder. And yet a woman who chooses to have more than three is apparently a hoarder and/or has OCD.

People can make choices different than yours without being "crazy". #angelinajolie
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deltabella
11/11/09

In reply to Angelina To Adopt Baby No. 7
So I just did a little poking around, and here's what I was able to find about Syria and adoptions:

Basically, adoption is not recognized in Syria, and is considered illegal. According to the US consulate, their understanding is that it is against Sharia law to adopt a child. There are some circumstances where it is allowed, but basically you are raising the child (who will retain their genetic father's name) within Syria- so, less like an adoption, more like caring for someone else's child in the eyes of the law. Orphanages in Syria tend to be run by Catholic organizations, and they recognize adoptions, but usually stipulate that the family (particularly the husband) must be Catholic. And even if going through a orphanage, it sounds like the paperwork proving that the child is a true orphan would be incredibly difficult.

Based on that info, I'm calling bullshit on that story. It sounds like adoption would be incredibly difficult for anyone, much less as a couple. If Angelina were to go at this alone, it might be because her parents are Catholic, making an adoption through a Catholic orphanage easier, but even that sounds difficult.

AND YES, I am trying to avoid doing real work today... how did you know? #angelinajolie
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CollegeCamel
11/11/09

@deltabella: I wrote a paper on women's reproductive health in Islamic countries a year ago, and in my research found that in Islam, which is the basis for Shariah, adoption is strongly encouraged, so long as the adopted child is kept in touch with any living family members, etc. #angelinajolie
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deltabella
11/11/09

@CollegeCamel: Interesting. All I'm doing is relaying what the US Embassy and people who tried to adopt have written. #angelinajolie
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