Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we decide to make this installment a little more interactive by using Kinja’s Q&A system to answer all of your most burning questions about this week’s hottest goss, which includes: Prince’s alleged suicide note, Gwen and Blake’s alleged wedding, Katie and Jamie’s alleged wedding, and
Police reports reveal that the late Michael Jackson amassed a collection of gruesome pornography and violent images, including “animal torture, S&M, and gore” at his Neverland Ranch.
“Put me out of my misery,” as a chorus, brings to mind merciful euthanization. But in Gwen Stefani’s estimation on “Misery,” a truly catchy song, it’s more like analogizing her lover’s bod to, like, methadone, insofar that she passionately informs him that he’s “like drugs! you’re like drugs! to me!”
Amber Heard and Johnny Depp have moved from being entertainingly rude to one another in PR statements, to reported accusations of domestic violence. This is a bad, sad trajectory.
Most tabloids have spent the past few months writing stories about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner getting back together, and I’ve found myself annoyed by each of their stories. Ben and Jen, Back In Love! Ben and Jen, In England to Renew Their Vows? Ben and Jen Prove Love Wins By Settling For Each Other! Bad tabloids!
Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani—a couple as natural and authentic as the pair of tits I plan on buying at 40—are busy promoting their
new duet “Go Ahead and Break My Heart” at various award shows—but are they also paying Instagram influencers to promote the love of “Gwake” on social media?
Let me begin this by making it clear that this is a twice-daily column meant to give readers a rundown of gossip being covered elsewhere, and that I seriously doubt Jenny Slate is pregnant with Chris Evans’s baby. Let me continue by suggesting that she might be.
In today’s Tweet Beat, Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are together, Tyra Banks discovers Catfish and Abigail Breslin swoops in with a word.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we discover a new magazine store within walking distance of our office (the old one was several stops away on a very annoying train), enter it, notice the magazines are all old, ask the friendly old man if this week’s tabs have come in, are told they’re in the back, and follow him to…
I’m just writing to let you know that a grandpa in overalls and a farmer’s hat took down a bunch of paparazzi outside of an LA club after photographers started shoving his granddaughters. It was all for the sake of an group selfie with Kylie Jenner, and the dude kept a cigarette in his mouth the entire time. Sentences…
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we have a hard time deciding between a headline about the Duggars and a headline about Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx, but ultimately decide to give it to the Duggars because Katie and Jamie are boring as hell—secret wedding or not.
In September of last year, In Touch ran a cover story that claimed Blake Shelton’s “boozing lifestyle forced him into rehab and almost ruined his career.” The story, Shelton said, was not true. So he’s suing them for $2 million.
Welcome to Midweek Madness where we get a call from Us Weekly, are told to provide a list of 25 things people don’t know about us, and tell them our daughters’ favorite game is “Attack the Daddy.”
In a statement to People Thursday, Bethenny Frankel revealed she is “facing a women’s health issue that many women can relate to.” Though she did not go into specifics (in what could very cynically be seen as an attempt to drum up ratings for the return of Real Housewives of New York), she did say this:
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we head to the cemetery with a Ouija board with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, and unsuccessfully try to contact the spirit of Dear Johnny, after which we go back to LA and get dinner with them and Kate Hudson, who Snapchats the whole thing.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we find ourselves continuously intrigued by the fact that every single tabloid is obsessed with pink and yellow. This week, Angie and Brad are over because of Selena (they’re not), Kim can’t stop eating (yes she can), Miley’s married (no she’s not), and Casey Anthony is pregnant (I…
Blake Shelton is so dang mad, y’all. In a series of tweets posted Thursday, he complained about tabloid coverage getting details about his personal and professional life completely wrong, writing:
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we try to write about the tabloids but get distracted by Kanye West tweets and Wikipedia updates that claim Wiz Khalifa is dead. This week, Katie and Jamie are 100% happening, Matthew Perry is 100% on drugs, and Miranda Lambert is 100% getting revenge on Blake Shelton.
Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we find out about the potential nor’easter, dread the days spend trudging through the two feet of snow, and daydream about spending a week in Los Angeles at Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s house. Justin cooks the breakfast. Jen makes the juices. “Do you want beet in yours?” she…