black friday - Jezebel

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The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
Karl Makes Over SpongeBob; Kate Moss Wants Photographic Proof She Eats
Conspicuous Consumption
Black Friday: Wal-Mart Employee Trampled To Death In Early Morning Stampede
Thierry Mugler To Make Beyonce His Angel?
Did Paris Swipe An Ensemble From The Victoria's Secret Show?
Poll: How Are You Celebrating Black Friday?

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Alys Brangwin has a huge talent
12/01/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
I celebrate Buy Nothing Day every year by putting up the Christmas decorations and making the house glitter with lights. Buy Nothing Day is for those who refuse to participate in the consumerist orgy of "Black Friday."
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
11/30/09

In reply to Karl Makes Over SpongeBob; Kate Moss Wants Photographic Proof She Eats
Because this scent is "about two people and the power of the relationship."

SOMEBODY at Avon has jumped on the Obama/Clinton bandwagon...
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deitybox
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
Please help out a sheltered Jewish girl -- after spending the majority of my adult years living in Israel I need to know the holiday gift-giving etiquette in the American work place. Am I expected to give little trinkets to all of my co-workers? Will cards work? Can I buy a dozen donuts for the office and call it a day?
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Snowbunny
11/30/09

@deitybox: I would say doughnuts would be just fine, but keep your eyes open in case people are actually exchanging gifts.
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randomnessish
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
December 26th is just as bad as Black Friday. Seriously, everything is mobbed with people trying to return shit. I recall one harrowing experience when I got lost at Lord & Taylors.
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Dorilys
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
December 6th is the night that Saint Nick comes!

(Tiny consumption climax)
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
December 25th, 2008: I open the one gift Mr. Foibles has for me. It is a square box tied with white satin ribbon. The box is that wonderful shade of robins egg which we all know and mostly love. It's....a bracelet.

Oh.

A bracelet.

(OHGOD WHAT DO I DO I DON'T LIKE IT I DON'T EVEN LIKE JEWELRY OH GOD I AM HORRIBLE FOR BEING DISAPPOINTED)

Fast forward, November 26th, 2009: (Internal dialogue) OH GOD IT'S COMING CHRISTMAS IS COMING IT'S GONNA BE HERE SOON AND OH GOD HOW I HOPE IT'S NOT ANOTHER BRACELET OR WORSE LIKE OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS WHEN HE GAVE ME ME A STOCKING WITH A REINDEER HEAD ATTACHED THAT PLAYED CHRISTMAS MUSIC WHEN YOU SQUEEZED IT.

I'm the worst.
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winner
11/30/09

@Aesop's Foibles. YES.: You are not the worst. My mother has a nice little stockpile of Tiffany's jewelry courtesy of my ex-boyfriends.

I knew I'd met the future father of my children when I saw that Iosselliani box last year...
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
11/30/09

@Aesop's Foibles. YES.: Recently I've asked my girlfriend multiple times what she wants for Christmas. Her response was 'Figure it out!' until I told her I really feel incompetent at knowing what kinds of material things she likes, so she finally relented and told me what to buy her.
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angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip
11/30/09

@winner: Iosselliani is my FAVORITE.
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Nun Shall Pass
12/01/09

@Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.: @winner: Last year I told my boyfriend to "figure it out" and I got a six month supply of Oreos (amongst other things, but that was my favorite present.) I think that's when I knew I picked the right one...
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winner
12/01/09

@angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip: You are hearted for your divine taste!
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winner
12/01/09

@Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.: You can do what my boyfriend and I do: buy a few things she wants and surprise her with a few things. As time goes on, you will know her taste and won't even need to ask her.

You're sweet to tell her that you're feeling stressed about not knowing her taste - that was definitely the right move.
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belle TL
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
In happier news, December 5th is also Repeal Day, aka the anniversary of when Prohibition was ended: [www.repealday.org]
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
I consider Black Friday to be an extension of my birthday. It's the day when all the retailers get together to make sure that I get everything I wanted for my birthday on the 19th but that my family and loved ones neglected to acquire.

Merry Freakin' Birthday to me, Glee Soundtrack and Nintendo DS!
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winner
11/30/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Oooh! You gotta get Scribblenauts! And if you play Farmville, do yourself a favor and get Harvest Moon.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
11/30/09

@winner: I was waiting for today to binge on games because I get paid tonight. I also want a Mario game but I'm loving the puzzle game I bought cheap on Saturday.

That Glee soundtrack is making traffic KICK ASS.
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rw2264001
11/30/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: you are living proof to me that people still buy CDs.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
11/30/09

@rw2264001: I buy them occasionally. It depends. Mostly, I listen to music in my car and my car has a 6 CD changer whereas I need a special thingywatsit to make my iPod plug into my car. Also, my iPod is running out of memory so I've been forced to be more selective with what I put on there anymore. Now I actually do buy CDs if I'm pretty sure I'll like all or most of the songs by the band. It's more economical for my memory.
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BetteD
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
December 21: BetteD's birthday! Anyone who's anyone is invited to my house to escape relatives, smoke weed, drink wine/beer/booze/water, watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High for the 11,000th time, eat the candy I'm supposed to be using for family member's stockings, lip-synch to Old Dirty Bastard, fall off my balcony, accidentally set of car alarms, and generally be awesome. All you need bring is a rain parka, a pair of boots, and one Unicorn tooth.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
11/30/09

@BetteD: Where do you live? I've been saving this unicorn tooth forever, and until now I had no real use for it. It's pink and sparkly, so you know it's real.
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winner
11/30/09

@BetteD: Can we watch Pooty Tang after Fast Times if I bring two teef?
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LutherNipperkin
11/30/09

@BetteD: Will you accept sparkly reindeer poop?
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BetteD
11/30/09

@LutherNipperkin: Will I!!!
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morninggloria
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
I participated in Cybar Monday this year by buying this for my brother.

[www.shopplasticland.com]

My brother is an adult. I am the best sister in the world.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/30/09

@morninggloria: I thought at first it said "gun condom dispenser." I am clearly not an adult. I am twelve.
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morninggloria
11/30/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson:

There's no such thing as safe snacks. Wear a condiment.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
They're trying hard, but I have to say that despite having money to spend and people to buy for, I'm just not feeling anything that anyplace has to offer this year. If only they were selling time. Sweet, sweet time. Time to make things for people, which is what I'd really rather be doing, and time to finish my schoolwork well instead of having to rush to get it done, and time to grade my students' papers with the care they deserve. And now that I've been informed that I'm hosting a family celebration the weekend after Christmas, time to paint the whole house, trim included, finish the basement into a rec room like we've wanted to do for the last four years, and remodel the disgusting upstairs bathroom. Plus clean everything, of course.

But nobody sells that. Because retailers are stupid and can't provide what we really need.
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Plum-Pie
11/30/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson: I think if I could give my nearest and dearest anything this year, it would be a bit more energy. Everyone I know seems to be involved in massive projects currently - not always of the professional kind. There is so much teeth-gritting and 'how tough can you be?'-ing, so much work to be done, I would give them all the inner resources to really succeed, if I could.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
11/30/09

@Plum-Pie: I would give out jobs. Sincerely. I don't know of anything that would make people more genuinely or lastingly happy than good jobs. I wish I had it in my power to employ people. Too bad the Grinch's (aka those who could be creating jobs but prefer to work for nonprofits and hand-wring about their enormous inheritances) heart isn't going to be growing three sizes anytime soon.
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Plum-Pie
11/30/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson: Indeed - work is love made visible and all that.
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Dorilys
11/30/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson: Time?! I want time!

In fact, given the deadline creeping ever closer, I want LOTS!
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TransFat
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
Cyber Monday, can't trust that day,
Cyber Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me more reasons to avoid human company
Cyber Monday, thank you for cutting the shipping so I could afford the beverage buggeeeeey[www.sharperimage.com]
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Edited by TransFat at 11/30/09 4:23 PM TransFat was starred TransFat was unstarred

BabyJane
11/30/09

@TransFat:
Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the year is fine, yeah
But when Cyber Monday comes, but when Cyber Monday comes
You can find me buyin' all of the time
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TransFat
11/30/09

@BabyJane: Thank you love, I was hoping someone would put more verses ;)
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Penny
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
I have to say, I feel downright gleeful about how little I have to buy. My family pulls names and our limit is 100 bucks. Easy cheesy. And more money to spend on myself.
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didntmeanto
11/30/09

@Penny: LUCKY! I have been trying to get my family to do this for years or the other option I have offered is how about no adult-adult presents, just presents for kids? My sister's response? "But I like getting presents..."
Grrr.... I dont have the heart to tell her that I have returned every single thing she has gotten for me and my husband for the last 5 years. I feel bad that she goes to all the trouble!
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Ratinski
11/30/09

@Penny: I kind of wish my family would do this. Except I would live in dread of the year I ended up getting my older brother.
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femme-bot
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
Do people actually DO this stuff?
I come from a family of hermits/people haters. None of us really shop from nov-jan. We talk about "skipping xmas" every year and delight when it's all over.
I just keep my head down, drink a lot, and hope to get out of nov-feb not depressed.
I hate holidays, I hate the holiday bullshit.
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Penny
11/30/09

In reply to The 9 Days Of Ridiculous Holiday Marketing
I sat in a meeting this morning to review our BF weekend (it sucked--the only winners were big box and Aeropostale, apparently). I think that Cyber Monday is more like Cyber December this year. Less people want to navigate the malls and retailers are really pushing promotions through the the e-commerce channel. Part of it is stress, part of it is cost-driven, and some people just feel guilty shopping right now and have an easier time consuming online, I guess.

At least you don't have this one on your list:

November 25: Start planning VAL.

Never work in retail, kids.
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