​I Pulled a Black Friday All-Nighter & Lived to Tell the Tale (Barely)

It's Thanksgiving evening, roughly 7:30 p.m. "Are you sure you don't want to bail?" my mother-in-law asks, with barely concealed concern, as we approach the exit for the Secaucus, New Jersey Walmart. I promise I'll text updates and swear that if something goes hideously awry and I'm marooned in a sea of big-box… » 12/03/14 2:10pm 12/03/14 2:10pm

British Consumers Embrace American Tradition of Black Friday

In a beautiful gesture of reverse colonization (I mean, kinda) this year marks the very first time British retailers are participating in the American tradition of Black Friday. And it looks like the Brits are naturals at it—they've even taken to the standard trampling over each other and "mini-riots" Black Friday is » 11/28/14 1:03pm 11/28/14 1:03pm

Hilarious Black Friday Movie Trailer May as Well Be a Documentary

Many people believe that a day will come when all hell breaks loose and all civilization goes to shit—a veritable doomsday. But let's be real. That day comes every year, and it's called Black Friday. This silly trailer from Nacho Punch truly nails the psychological thriller that is shopping on Black Friday. » 11/23/14 3:02pm 11/23/14 3:02pm

Enjoy Lewis Black Ranting About the Bullshit That is Black Friday

Fucking Black Friday, man. It's like a gremlin that we just kept feeding after midnight for fifty years straight and now here we are, being herded like cattle away from our family dinners and toward deals, deals, deals. Unsurprisingly, Lewis Black has some thoughts, which he shared with The Daily Show. » 11/21/14 10:30am 11/21/14 10:30am

Amazon Starts Black Friday a Week Early Like Maniacs

Amazon is aiming to stress everybody the absolute fuck out by starting its Black Friday sales an entire week before Black Friday. Beginning on November 21st, the largest internet company in America is counting down to Black Friday with a "Deals Week," proclaiming that: "It's never to early for a good deal." » 11/20/14 4:20pm 11/20/14 4:20pm

Daughter Fights KMart So Her Mom Doesn't Have to Work Thanksgiving

Black Friday fucking sucks. It's bad enough that it attempts to commercialize a holiday meant to make people be thankful for what you already have, but now it's also begun to spill over into Thanksgiving Day itself, with many big box retailers now opening on Thursday and robbing their employees of time with their… » 11/13/14 7:45pm 11/13/14 7:45pm

Christmas Must Be Stopped. Let's Declare War on Christmas.

For years, Fox News has bleated about the "War on Christmas," suggesting the phrase "Happy Holidays" and some complaints about nativity scenes on public property amount to an all-out assault on a sacred tradition. Meanwhile, Christmas has overflowed its traditional borders, annexed Thanksgiving and begun laying siege… » 11/03/14 3:50pm 11/03/14 3:50pm

Target Frantically Debuts Free Shipping to Woo Holiday Shoppers

The holiday retail wars are upon us! Macy's kicked off the melee by announcing they'd open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving; now Target says free shipping will be available for every damn thing on their website until December 20. Go right ahead and order that sack of Dove chocolates for your honeybun's stocking. » 10/22/14 12:50pm 10/22/14 12:50pm

Target Credit Card Database Hacked; Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Presents

On Thursday, Target announced that a credit and debit card security breach has affected more than 40 million of their customers. Online hackers broke into the retailer's database the day before Thanksgiving and squirreled around in there until Dec. 15, reports the New York Times. Then the retail giant's officials said… » 12/19/13 10:00am 12/19/13 10:00am