Enjoy Lewis Black Ranting About the Bullshit That is Black Friday

Fucking Black Friday, man. It's like a gremlin that we just kept feeding after midnight for fifty years straight and now here we are, being herded like cattle away from our family dinners and toward deals, deals, deals. Unsurprisingly, Lewis Black has some thoughts, which he shared with The Daily Show. » 11/21/14 10:30am Yesterday 10:30am

Amazon Starts Black Friday a Week Early Like Maniacs

Amazon is aiming to stress everybody the absolute fuck out by starting its Black Friday sales an entire week before Black Friday. Beginning on November 21st, the largest internet company in America is counting down to Black Friday with a "Deals Week," proclaiming that: "It's never to early for a good deal." » 11/20/14 4:20pm Thursday 4:20pm

Daughter Fights KMart So Her Mom Doesn't Have to Work Thanksgiving

Black Friday fucking sucks. It's bad enough that it attempts to commercialize a holiday meant to make people be thankful for what you already have, but now it's also begun to spill over into Thanksgiving Day itself, with many big box retailers now opening on Thursday and robbing their employees of time with their… » 11/13/14 7:45pm 11/13/14 7:45pm

Christmas Must Be Stopped. Let's Declare War on Christmas.

For years, Fox News has bleated about the "War on Christmas," suggesting the phrase "Happy Holidays" and some complaints about nativity scenes on public property amount to an all-out assault on a sacred tradition. Meanwhile, Christmas has overflowed its traditional borders, annexed Thanksgiving and begun laying siege… » 11/03/14 3:50pm 11/03/14 3:50pm

Target Frantically Debuts Free Shipping to Woo Holiday Shoppers

The holiday retail wars are upon us! Macy's kicked off the melee by announcing they'd open at 6 pm on Thanksgiving; now Target says free shipping will be available for every damn thing on their website until December 20. Go right ahead and order that sack of Dove chocolates for your honeybun's stocking. » 10/22/14 12:50pm 10/22/14 12:50pm

Target Credit Card Database Hacked; Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Presents

On Thursday, Target announced that a credit and debit card security breach has affected more than 40 million of their customers. Online hackers broke into the retailer's database the day before Thanksgiving and squirreled around in there until Dec. 15, reports the New York Times. Then the retail giant's officials said… » 12/19/13 10:00am 12/19/13 10:00am

Is Your Shitty Boss Making You Work Thanksgiving? Vent About It Here.

There's something particularly awful about forcing your employees to work on Thanksgiving — a secular holiday that's all about being thankful for what you have — all so that other people can buy a whole bunch of shit that they probably don't need. And yet that's exactly what retailers across the country will be doing… » 11/27/13 1:10pm 11/27/13 1:10pm

Wal Mart Employees Planning Black Friday Walk Out Because They're Tired…

In this nation's continuing failure to heed the lessons of Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas, American retailers are planning on starting their Black Friday sales so early that their already put-upon employees will be forced to leave their family Thanksgiving celebrations so that they can tend to the… » 11/19/12 2:30pm 11/19/12 2:30pm

Pepper-Spraying Black Friday Shopper Gets Even More Crazy, Threatens To…

If you thought the tale of the California woman who pepper sprayed other Walmart shoppers during a Black Friday stampede was the most "only in America" story of the season, prepare yourself to feel a surge of patriotic pride. Now she's considering filing a lawsuit against the store. Authorities say 32-year-old… » 12/12/11 10:30am 12/12/11 10:30am

Angry Black Friday Mob Loots Hollister Store

It may not have involved pepper spray, but things still got plenty ugly at the Hollister store in New York City early Friday morning. The problem began when people lined up outside the store mistakenly thinking it was going to open at midnight for the chain's Black Friday sale. Only this particular store wasn't part… » 11/27/11 1:05pm 11/27/11 1:05pm

President Obama Wins The Hearts Of Bookworms Everywhere

Yesterday President Obama upped his nerdy dad cred considerably when he took Sasha and Malia shopping at a local independent bookstore. They visited Kramerbooks, which is just a few blocks from the White House, as part of small business Saturday, an effort to get people to shop at local businesses after the big box… » 11/27/11 12:05pm 11/27/11 12:05pm

Everyone Dodged Black Friday In Favor Of Shopping Online, Salespeople…

I had to run some post-Thanksgiving errands yesterday, aka Black Friday, the day we all must fear, the day on which we will all be trampled and punched in the face by everyone we come in contact with because we're all shopping for the exact same thing or something. I knew this. I just didn't care. » 11/26/11 12:05pm 11/26/11 12:05pm

Extreme Couponer Will Bargain-Shop For 11 Hours Straight Tonight

Joni Meyer-Crothers from TLC's Extreme Couponing has put together a 11-hour,13-person plot to go ballistic on J.C. Penney's, Target, Costco, and a bunch of other stores tonight. She'll start at midnight and wind things up at around 11 am tomorrow, and you know what? The stuff isn't going directly into her basement… » 11/24/11 11:00am 11/24/11 11:00am

Eff Being A Black Friday Zombie, Hungry For Saaaaales

It's Black Friday again, so I guess everyone, especially parents, will be running around like a bunch of assholes looking for the Hot Shit Holiday Toy of 2011/12. Normally I would have slept right through this day without so much as a raised smirk in its honor, so oblivious to the hassle I was. See, it's a multi-part… » 11/22/11 12:00pm 11/22/11 12:00pm