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Posts Tagged “

Bjork

dirt bag

Angelina Jolie Baby Watch, Take Two

  • Angelina Jolie MAY have given birth to twins in France this morning. Stay tuned. [Just Jared]
  • Former American Idol star Paris Bennett is pregnant, you guys. She's 19 and the father "chooses not to be in the public eye." But! Paris "has a ring." So everything is fine. [People]
  • Is Sandra Bernhard over Madonna? Apparently she ranted about Madge at a show in Toronto, taunting celebs who brag about exercising for three hours: "Why don't you rub some salt in the wounds of the people who have to work 14 hours a day?" Plus! Madonna's been traveling from her home in Manhattan to rehearsals in Brooklyn and apparently her drivers "race like madmen" and run red lights to get her there and back. [Page Six]
  • Guy Ritchie is in New York now, too. And neither he nor Madonna have been seen wearing wedding bands. Madge's spokesperson, Liz Rosenberg, says: "Madonna has rarely worn a wedding band over these last six years, so there's no secret message about that." [People]
  • But! This report says Guy is in the Big Apple to discuss finances, assess assets and plan out the divorce from Madonna, sigh. [Mirror]
  • Madonna's childhood home was destroyed by a fire over the weekend, and the blaze is "suspicious," uh-oh. [Breitbart]
More »

exile in guyville

In The Music Industry, Female "Geniuses" Are Hard To Find

Jane Czyzselska thinks that women in music are rarely referred to as geniuses. The Times of London writer claims that Rufus Wainwright gets plied with the "genius" accolade frequently, while similarly blessed female musicians like Kate Bush, Bjork and Goldfrapp are not given the genius label. Um, Jane? Goldfrapp? You're really arguing that Goldfrapp is a "genius?" Maybe the term genius is being tossed around entirely too frequently, regardless of gender. That made me doubt Czyzselska's original thesis, so I decided to google Jezebel fave "Liz Phair" and "genius" and found this incredible review of Phair's third album whitechocolatespaceegg by Laura Sinagra. I checked out the Billboard Hot 100, and as five of the top ten albums are by women, maybe we need to lament the lack of "genius" females in music writing, not music making. More »

leftovers

Bjork Feels Bad For China; Hair Dye Equals Death

• Bjork feels sorry for China. You know, over all that Tibet stuff. • Italian porn star runs for office, promises to create "cute" red light district. • H.S. teacher resigns after being outed as madam. • Macho, alcoholic men have trouble dealing with serious injuries. • Gabrielle Union sues Craigslist pranksters over faux ad. • India bans sale of cheap hair dye after farmers use it to commit suicide. • Uterine fibroids can now be treated with a non-invasive ultrasound. • Australians engage in wife-carrying competitions. • Hayden says: Sexual harassment is wrong, even if it makes you "feel good."

clips

Bjork went on Conan last night and we taped the performance. She did not speak at all, which was very sad. Does Conan not care about the Tibetans? Anyway, here she is, in a typically understated outfit. I thought I would just let you play a game whereby you tell me your favorite Bjork song, and when you actually bothered learning what the actual name of it is. I used to lie on the bed in college and listen to Homogenic while smoking pot like srsly every night, and I only today realized that my favorite song on that album is called "Bachelorette." And I can't for the life of me remember the name of that Sugarcubes song.

A British blog has landed an exclusive interview with the individual responsible for stoking all the unrest in Tibet. Not the Dalai Lama, silly! Bjork. "When I said 'Tibet, Tibet.' I whispered it three times. There was no fuss in the room. It happened afterwards on websites. It shows more than anything that China has become the next superpower in the world. And the issue is: how are they going to deal with Western moral issues like freedom of speech? China said, 'It's obvious Björk planned a trip to China with the purpose of political propaganda gathering... and I was like, no! It's not true!" She planned the trip with the purpose of wearing a weird outfit, duh. But if they complain once more... [The Lipster]

crappy hour

Happy Non-St. Pat's Day, Folks! The World Is Currently Ending

How was your weekend? Hey! Guess who cares; no one. Fucking End Times came while you were drinking green beer or whatever, to the point that I shouldn't have to bait you with the fact that the McGreeveys HAD HARD CORE INTENSE BUTT SEX ORGIES WITH MARGARITAS/ POTATO SKIN PLATTERS AT T.G.I.FRIDAYS. But there I go baiting you! Okay, seriously though: did you know today is not St. Patrick's Day? No, the Vatican foresaw that everyone would be drinking heavily anyway today and rescheduled it so it wouldn't conflict with the collapse of the American financial system/China's control over its populace/numerous buildings. In other news, John McCain is taking some soothing R&R in Iraq. Will Spielberg and the Beastie Boys and the rest of the "Dalai clique" spoil the Olympics for China? Will the Fed bail me out in the event of a liquidity crisis in approx four weeks? Why can't I get in on Bear Stearns at two bucks a share? All that and odds on Laura Bush dropping her cookie sheet to call up Hu Jintao on behalf of her precious hot monks with me and Glamocracy's Megan Carpentier. JUMP. More »

news roundup

Tibet Will Pay For Taking Orders From Bjork!

  • It is not the best time to visit the capital of Tibet. A peaceful monk-dominated demonstration gave way to angry looting/arson/chaos/etc. over the past few days, and now the streets of Lhasa are full of tanks and teargas and fires. Probably a hundred have died, which makes this worse than Tiananmen kinda. It's a good thing our government is so unpreoccupied and globally respected right now so we will be able to respond in a way that is decisive and credible and hopefully ends the violence soon! [NYT]
  • China is blaming the Dalai Lama's "clique" for "masterminding" the riots from his exile in India. He's urging his clique not to resort to violence. [Reuters]
  • Oh yeah, and China is also blaming Bjork. [NME]
  • Our government gets to spy on us easier now, though not as easy as the Senate would have it. [Wash Post]
  • Oh, yeah, and now the fuckers who brought civilization A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila care about democracy? [IAmTRex]
  • Hugo Chavez did not declare war on Colombia. [Bloomberg]
More »

dirt bag

Spencer Pratt Wants To Solve Your Problems

  • Spencer Pratt is getting an advice column in Radar. "Yo Spencer!" will debut in the April issue; the idea is so dumb it's genius. [USA Today]
  • The Beckhams went shopping at the Pleasure Chest adult store in Hollywood and stocked up on supplies. "They seemed to know exactly what they wanted," a witness says. What do you think was on their list? Vibes? Lube? The purple penetrator? [The Sun]
  • Watch Britney's new anime video! [People]
  • "It pains me to report that on the first day of the shoot, Britney knew her lines better than I knew mine," How I Met Your Mother actor Josh Radnor says. "She's been great to work with." [People]
  • The CW network is developing a contemporary spinoff of Beverly Hills, 90210. Maybe think of it as a mashup of The OC and Gossip Girl. [The Hollywood Reporter]
More »

dirt bag

Nicole Richie: Kicking Christina Aguilera's Ass At Newsstand

  • Nicole Richie's People magazine cover is outselling Christina Aguilera's. What's up with that? [MSNBC]
  • Winona Ryder: Not engaged. Well crap. Is that guy going to feel pressured to pop the question now? [Us]
  • Also not engaged: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. [People]
  • Video: Pete Doherty, smoking crack-like substance. Out of a pipe shaped like a chicken. This is not a joke. [Perez Hilton]
  • Tom Cruise: Seen washing his hands for 5 minutes, "as thoroughly as a surgeon preparing for surgery" after using the restroom. Here's to LHR! [Times Of India]
  • That "guru" Paris Hilton was hanging out with? He's a Hollywood actor who has been in flicks like Pirates Of The Caribbean. That's doesn't explain why she's spending time with him, but whatevs. [TMZ]
  • Bjork made Chinese fans "uncomfortable" by shouting "Tibet! Tibet!" at a show in Shanghai. [CNN]
More »

Loose Lips Do not fuck with the Bjork. As mentioned earlier, the Icelandic brawler attacked a photographer in New Zealand over the weekend. Now the victim, Glenn Jeffrey, is speaking out: "I got about three or four frames of her, and as I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black [shirt] and tore it down the back." Jeffrey is not pressing charges against the tiny tyrant. • Lohan has been spotted with a new mystery man! He's kinda cute, but perhaps he's just her main gay? • Good God, is Beyonce knocked up, too? Stay tuned! [People, A Socialite's Life, Dlisted]

women in rock

Someone Needs To Throw Another Tampon Into The Crowd

Every few years someone pens a piece about how women in rock are finally mainstream, pointing to the "emergence" of female singer-songwriters as proof. This weekend, The Telegraph, in an article about the "New Girl Power" in rock, declared that the mainstream music industry "has rarely invested in girls with guitars: it has always preferred them dressed-up and dancing." I'd argue that the rock world has invested in girls with guitars since rock began: At the beginning there were Joan Baez and Joni Mitchell, and more recently Sheryl Crow, Annie Lennox, Bjork, Chrissie Hynde, Bonnie Raitt — the list goes on. There have also been loads of successful acts with pretty ladies at the helm, including No Doubt, Garbage, and Blondie. The place where women are still scarce is as part of bands. Besides the Donnas and the GoGos, I can't think of one all-female band that reached the upper levels of the Billboard charts (I'm sure there are others). More »