Florida Man Shoots Sister in the Ass For Baking Him Sexy Penis Cake

Christopher Taft had the shittiest birthday, and it's all his dumb sister's fault. She baked him an inappropriate cake, so he did the only logical thing he could think of to get her back: He shot her straight in the ass to show her exactly how she'd hurt his feelings. (And now they're both butt hurt.) » 3/05/15 6:15pm 3/05/15 6:15pm

102-Year-Old American Hero Just Wants to Eat White Castle on Her B-Day

Forget everything they told you in health class: It is, in fact, possible to survive past 100 and eat White Castle regularly. And Madeleine Turpan of Long Island is here to prove it. She just celebrated her 102nd birthday at the fast food restaurant and she couldn't be healthier or happier. And she's a former… » 9/29/14 4:50pm 9/29/14 4:50pm

Here's a Song to Say Happy Birthday to People You Don't Care About

There's nothing more dreaded than that pink box on your Facebook dashboard that tells you that one or more people have birthdays today. And there's nothing worse than figuring out whether you have to write something (to someone who you have no idea friending) or whether a like will do. You want them to wish you a… » 9/02/14 11:45pm 9/02/14 11:45pm

Katy Perry's Prank-Filled 'Birthday' Video Not Suitable for Children

Being a famous pop star must get boring sometimes. At least, that's the feeling you get after watching Katy Perry's video for "Birthday," which she's used as an opportunity to really pushed her acting skills to the brink by disguising herself as various birthday party entertainment professionals who end up ruining a… » 4/24/14 3:00pm 4/24/14 3:00pm

Please Watch Leo DiCaprio Turn 39 By Dancing to Kanye West and 2 Chainz

Leonardo DiCaprio, he of the preternaturally youthful face, this weekend overcame the many ageist barriers facing men when he celebrated his birthday with Kanye West, 2 Chainz (who described DiCaprio as his "brother") and Q-Tip – all while wearing a newsboy cap. Gangs of New York 2: Rap Edition anyone? » 11/11/13 12:20pm 11/11/13 12:20pm

Ranking How the Kardashian Kids Celebrated Their Mom's Birthday

Tuesday was Kris Jenner's birthday. Happy Birthday Kris Jenner! The Kardashian/Jenner Family matriarch apparently celebrated her birthday not by eating her young in an effort to stay youthful forever, but but consuming cupcakes decorated with her own floating head. She was also showered with love by her offspring, in… » 11/06/13 2:20pm 11/06/13 2:20pm

Really Old Lady Celebrates 102nd Birthday with a Base Jump and a Smile

Once you become an adult with a job and bills and maybe other people sucking at your literal or metaphorical teat for sustenance, your birthday stops becoming a big deal. Or it should stop becoming a big deal, unless you’re some sort of ego maniac who has to tell strangers at the grocery store, “Hey, see this cake… » 6/09/13 2:30pm 6/09/13 2:30pm

Sunday Sign-Off: Blow Out The Candles, Elizabeth Banks

Today, Elizabeth Banks turns 39, and we temporarily forgive her for this terrible, reductive-sounding CBS pilot. Not just because of her birthday, but because she's going to be in Secretary director Steven Shainberg's next fetish/love flick The Big Shoe. And also because she's adorable singing with Reggie Watts, above. » 2/10/13 6:30pm 2/10/13 6:30pm

Sunday Sign-Off: It's Gertrude Stein's Birthday

Don't feel like watching Joe Flacco mouth breathe into his helmet this Super Bowl Sunday? That's just fine by Gertrude Stein's ghost, who'd much rather you buy her a birthday cake, mute your television, and join her in critiquing the aesthetic shortcomings of contemporary advertising. Who knows? Maybe she'll take a… » 2/03/13 6:30pm 2/03/13 6:30pm

Celebrate Paula Deen's Birthday by Gazing into Her Youthful Past

It's Paula Deen's 65th birthday today, which just over a birthday ago might have meant celebrating with a decadent confection, but which we now have to commemorate with a rice cracker dusted with sugar-free powdered sugar powder. Eh, things change, which is pretty much the lesson of this Paula Deen prom picture,… » 1/19/13 3:30pm 1/19/13 3:30pm