Delonte Thomas’ first mistake in trying to be the best boyfriend he could be was to hijack the birthday party of a friend and demand that his own girlfriend be serenaded with “Happy Birthday.” His second mistake was trying to kill everyone who didn’t comply.
Congratulations to Nancy Drew! Today the titian-haired girl detective celebrates her 85th birthday, and while (hopefully) a new generation of readers takes on The Secret Of the Old Clock and The Hidden Staircase, the rest of us can take a moment and fondly remember all the lessons the intrepid teen private eye has…
Christopher Taft had the shittiest birthday, and it's all his dumb sister's fault. She baked him an inappropriate cake, so he did the only logical thing he could think of to get her back: He shot her straight in the ass to show her exactly how she'd hurt his feelings. (And now they're both butt hurt.)
Harry Styles turns 21 today! Congratulations, Harry: you've done more with your 21 years than I've done with my entire life. You've been on the X-Factor, you're a certified heartthrob, you're in a really cool band, you have amazing hair, and you dated Taylor Swift.
If there's anything that proves definitively that hell is other people, it is surely childrearing. For instance: A couple of parents whose kid skipped out on a classmate's birthday party were recently invoiced £15.95.
God Bless Bit Bit! Not only is she killing it in her Vegas shows (or so I hear), but she's also freaking out about shoes and gifting people horses for their birthday. If you're close to Spears, you're getting what you want to celebrate the fact that you're one year closer to your inevitable demise.
Forget everything they told you in health class: It is, in fact, possible to survive past 100 and eat White Castle regularly. And Madeleine Turpan of Long Island is here to prove it. She just celebrated her 102nd birthday at the fast food restaurant and she couldn't be healthier or happier. And she's a former…
There's nothing more dreaded than that pink box on your Facebook dashboard that tells you that one or more people have birthdays today. And there's nothing worse than figuring out whether you have to write something (to someone who you have no idea friending) or whether a like will do. You want them to wish you a…
Being a famous pop star must get boring sometimes. At least, that's the feeling you get after watching Katy Perry's video for "Birthday," which she's used as an opportunity to really pushed her acting skills to the brink by disguising herself as various birthday party entertainment professionals who end up ruining a…
Tom Hiddleston is celebrating his birthday today with a plate of birthday cookies that he really isn't obligated to share but that he will share just because he's a swell guy like that.
In accordance with her 50th birthday on Friday, Michelle Obama spoke with People magazine about her workout routine, eating right and those pesky things that crop up on your face as you age that we call wrinkles but cosmetic companies call lines.
Leonardo DiCaprio, he of the preternaturally youthful face, this weekend overcame the many ageist barriers facing men when he celebrated his birthday with Kanye West, 2 Chainz (who described DiCaprio as his "brother") and Q-Tip – all while wearing a newsboy cap. Gangs of New York 2: Rap Edition anyone?
Tuesday was Kris Jenner's birthday. Happy Birthday Kris Jenner! The Kardashian/Jenner Family matriarch apparently celebrated her birthday not by eating her young in an effort to stay youthful forever, but but consuming cupcakes decorated with her own floating head. She was also showered with love by her offspring, in…
John Cleese turns 74 today, which is great because it gives us all an excuse to enjoy this clip from the Life of Brian and contemplate all the wonderful things the Romans have done for us.
A young white Australian woman turned 21 and decided to have an "African" themed birthday party. After the festivities, she posted photos to Facebook. Ignorance, insensitivity and racism ahoy!
Once you become an adult with a job and bills and maybe other people sucking at your literal or metaphorical teat for sustenance, your birthday stops becoming a big deal. Or it should stop becoming a big deal, unless you’re some sort of ego maniac who has to tell strangers at the grocery store, “Hey, see this cake…
Today, Elizabeth Banks turns 39, and we temporarily forgive her for this terrible, reductive-sounding CBS pilot. Not just because of her birthday, but because she's going to be in Secretary director Steven Shainberg's next fetish/love flick The Big Shoe. And also because she's adorable singing with Reggie Watts, above.
Don't feel like watching Joe Flacco mouth breathe into his helmet this Super Bowl Sunday? That's just fine by Gertrude Stein's ghost, who'd much rather you buy her a birthday cake, mute your television, and join her in critiquing the aesthetic shortcomings of contemporary advertising. Who knows? Maybe she'll take a…
It's Paula Deen's 65th birthday today, which just over a birthday ago might have meant celebrating with a decadent confection, but which we now have to commemorate with a rice cracker dusted with sugar-free powdered sugar powder. Eh, things change, which is pretty much the lesson of this Paula Deen prom picture,…
Judi Dench turns 78 today, and although she's been in a boatload of Shakespeare plays and Bond movies, perhaps her most idiosyncratic accomplishment was bringing a pet fish back from the dead.
