America Is Having More Babies for the First Time Since the Recession

America’s been having fewer babies since around the time of the recession, probably because suddenly everyone’s money was gone and women were afraid of taking vacations, much less maternity leave. But for the first time since 2007, the birth rate has actually increased. Maybe you’re not imagining the uptick in… »6/17/15 1:30pm6/17/15 1:30pm


‘Sandy Babies’ Might Not Strictly Be Sandy Babies, Say Skeptics

What hath Hurricane Sandy really wrought? Apparently, lots of babies. According to overburdened record books of several New York hospitals, the storm, which hit the Northeast just about nine months ago, along with the resulting blackouts, apocalyptic panic, and the epic boredom that comes from being stuck on the… »5/27/13 12:00pm5/27/13 12:00pm

Panicked Texas Republicans May Throw $100 Million Back At Women's Health

Oops! Remember that time that Texas lawmakers cut $73 million of family planning funding and thought that wouldn't have an effect on the overall birth rate in the Lone Star state? As it turns out, proving fewer alternatives to having babies means... that there will be more donut holes. I mean, paper clips. Wait, no,… »3/02/13 1:30pm3/02/13 1:30pm

Increasingly Older Parents Are Ruining It for Everyone

As you've no doubt heard before, people waiting until longer to procreate — which has increased dramatically in the last half-century — is not just some hermetically sealed Great Idea that will solve all your career, family and relationship probs and allow you to "have it all." Nope. It's a ticking time bomb with its… »12/11/12 6:30pm12/11/12 6:30pm

If We Don't Start Procreating Right This Minute, America Will Fall Apart — But Who's Going to Change All the Diapers?

How can we make sure that the United States retains its global power forever and ever? Babies, babies, babies, and more babies: an army of babies, who will all one day grow into upstanding citizens ready to contribute to the economy, fight for their country, go to church every Sunday, and have babies, who will then… »12/03/12 11:30am12/03/12 11:30am

America, You Are Getting Really Shitty At Having Babies

New data released by the Pew Research Center has shown that the American birth rate dropped 8% between 2007 and 2010, putting the 2010 birth rate at its lowest level since 1920, the first year that we were even keeping track of this sort of thing. Guess this means that my Facebook friends are the last people in this… »11/29/12 6:25pm11/29/12 6:25pm

Morons Disappointed to Learn Most Babies Born in America Are Not White

When the US Census bureau announced this morning that for the first time in US history, the majority of babies born in 2011 were not white, naturally my first thought was to see what paranoids and dum dums on the internet were saying about it, because I'm nothing if not a chronic hater. After all, this sort of topic… »5/17/12 3:10pm5/17/12 3:10pm

If you're resisting the urge to have a Brangelina-sized brood anytime soon (or maybe ever) you have
If you're resisting the urge to have a Brangelina-sized brood anytime soon (or maybe ever) you have some company. The number of women ages 40 to 44 who don't have children has doubled in the last generation, according to a new report from the U.S. Census. As of June 2006, 20% of women in that age group were childless,… »8/19/08 2:40pm8/19/08 2:40pm

America's Amazing Baby Boom Has Nothing To Do With A-List Actresses

Unlike European nations, which are experiencing a population decline, the United States is virtually exploding with infants, reports the Associated Press. There were nearly 4.3 million births in 2006, and experts believe that there are several reasons for this mini-boom: "A decline in contraceptive use, a drop in… »1/16/08 9:30am1/16/08 9:30am