America Is Having More Babies for the First Time Since the Recession

America’s been having fewer babies since around the time of the recession, probably because suddenly everyone’s money was gone and women were afraid of taking vacations, much less maternity leave. But for the first time since 2007, the birth rate has actually increased. Maybe you’re not imagining the uptick in… »6/17/15 1:30pm

Panicked Texas Republicans May Throw $100 Million Back At Women's Health

Oops! Remember that time that Texas lawmakers cut $73 million of family planning funding and thought that wouldn't have an effect on the overall birth rate in the Lone Star state? As it turns out, proving fewer alternatives to having babies means... that there will be more donut holes. I mean, paper clips. Wait, no,… »3/02/13 1:30pm

If We Don't Start Procreating Right This Minute, America Will Fall Apart — But Who's Going to Change All the Diapers?

How can we make sure that the United States retains its global power forever and ever? Babies, babies, babies, and more babies: an army of babies, who will all one day grow into upstanding citizens ready to contribute to the economy, fight for their country, go to church every Sunday, and have babies, who will then… »12/03/12 11:30am

Morons Disappointed to Learn Most Babies Born in America Are Not White

When the US Census bureau announced this morning that for the first time in US history, the majority of babies born in 2011 were not white, naturally my first thought was to see what paranoids and dum dums on the internet were saying about it, because I'm nothing if not a chronic hater. After all, this sort of topic… »5/17/12 3:10pm