There's no boner-killer quite so potent as a visit from "Aunt Period Blood," IF YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN. Isn't that right, Billy-Bob Thornton? Oh...no!?!? You like having sex with hot ladies even if their vagina is doing something totally natural that most vaginas do 20% of the time? Do tell!

The National Enquirer, bastion of all legitimate-and-definitely-not-made-up-by-peoples'-greed-and-imagination news, reports that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's slinky, uber-sexual union is being torn asunder by, of all things, Tivo. Brad's allegedly pissed at Angelina for secretly recording episodes of her ex Jonny Lee …

The notoriously prolific and unstable tweeter Courtney Love went on a rant accusing former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl of hitting on and sleeping with her 19-year-old daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. And now she's being called out on her bullshit. Grohl has already denied the charge, but Frances has just released a sharp…

It's almost like Chris Brown has someone advising him on how to be the least likable person on the planet. Of course, there's the whole ongoing Rihanna affair, and the public spats he's been in as a result. But now he's been accused of angrily stealing a girl's iPhone outside a Miami club this weekend.

When most people break up with someone there are a few months of Facebook relationship demotions, awkward run-ins and a feverish return to the gym so that you can look hotter first before it all fades into an unpleasant memory. But not so for celebrities, who can be reminded of their past mistakes on an ongoing global…

• Billy Ray Cyrus knows you're worried about Miley Cyrus dancing on an ice cream cart while holding a pole, and he has this to say:

• Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson the night before her 29th birthday on July 10, which is especially tragic because she had planned a Barbie and Ken themed party.

• Michelle Obama and "first tweens" Malia and Sasha skipped the health care talk President Obama gave on ABC last night and went to a Beyoncé concert instead.

• Ryan Seacrest and Lindsay Lohan are joining forces to create a reality show wherein people who are "on the wrong track" plead their cases for a second chance and are given 1 million dollars to start their lives over. [USWeekly]

• Susan Boyle was "comforted" by psychiatrists before the Britian's Got Talent finale. Then she lost. [Daily Mail]
• Paramedics and police were called to help a "spaced-out" Susan Boyle through a hotel lobby early Sunday. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Now? Susan Boyle is in a mental hospital: