Groundbreaking 'Study' Reveals that Swimsuit Shopping Makes Women Feel Like Shit

Ladies. Ladies! It's almost the end of the month before the month before bikini season, so I hope you're all fucking cleansing right now. Are you cleansing? (Seriously, I swear by this: Just crumble saltines and a dash of cayenne into your humidifier, then HUFF TILL AUTUMN.) Anyway, cleanse season also means that it's… »4/24/12 2:55pm4/24/12 2:55pm

The World's First 100% Foolproof Guide to Losing Weight and Keeping It Off

A lot of people complain that losing weight and getting in shape is "difficult" and "complicated," and to those people I say, "Shut up, fat-face! You're gross!" The media and the medical establishment are just full of super helpful advice for losing weight and keeping it off, if you're willing to TRY! That's how,… »4/12/12 3:30pm4/12/12 3:30pm