Blue Ivy Carter Is Everything
Want that jacket. Want those shoes. Want that baby. Give me your baby, Beyonce. GIVE ME YOUR BABY.
Beyonce Banned from the Pyramids by Angry Archaeologist
Beyonce has been banned from the pyramids for being RUDE. Are you even allowed to do that?
Selfie Loathing: What Celebrities Did on Instagram This Week
What we have here is another edition of Selfie Loathing, your potent cocktail of Vanity Smurf portraits. This week, Kelly Osbourne gets a dangerous updo, Justin Long frolics with Amanda Seyfried's dog, John Stamos refuses to age and Beyoncé wears one of Jay Z's $700 ski masks
Beyoncé Gushes That Angels Sighed Over Blue Ivy in New Song
"When you were born, the angels sighed in delight… they never thought they'd see such a beautiful sight." So sings Beyoncé in a new track titled "God Made You Beautiful," which is a ballad (with back beat) about her daughter, everyone's favorite Illuminati bambino, Blue Ivy.
Notes on Taylor Swift and Her Tchotchke Fantasy Loft o' Cluttered Dreams
Taylor Swift is more famous that Lady Gaga or Katy Perry or Miley Cyrus (note Beyoncé is not in that list). So argues New York magazine's Jody Rosen, in this week's cover story on the pop star that paints her particular brand of ommygoshsoblessedtobedoingthis, IneverthoughtIcouldbethislucky,…
Terrence Howard Rejected Beyoncé & Padma Lakshmi, Says Terrence Howard
Baby wipes enthusiast
This Week in Tabloids: Beyoncé and Jay Z's Marriage Is in Crisis
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman assists as we attempt to shine a light into the filthy, dark crevices of In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style, Us and Star. This week: Jennifer Aniston's haircut sends a secret message; Noah and Allie from The Notebook might be back on; and Bey and Jay have serious issues. …
Your Morning Weep: Watch Saint Beyoncé Sing a Duet With a Blind Girl
SAINT BEYONCÉ IS A BEAUTIFUL SAINT. A 13-year-old blind girl named Sophie, who also has hearing and muscle difficulties, attended her concert in Perth; Beyoncé surprised her by singling her out and getting her to sing "Irreplaceable" with her in front of 15,000 cheering fans.
Delusional Fans Petition Beyoncé to Skip Kimye Wedding
As many of you know, Beyoncé, an extremely famous and remarkably talented woman, may one day attend the wedding of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, an extremely famous woman whose talents are mostly branding, Instagram and peplums. Many (at least 277) Beyonce fans are not pleased about this, so they've taken to…
Selfie Loathing: What Celebrities Did on Instagram This Week
Welcome back to America's favorite Vanity Smurf K-hole. This week, Ian Smolderhotter is snuggling with animals, Lindsay Lohan is covered in blood and Nicki Minaj has some weird ideas about what cop uniforms look like. Celebrity Instagrams (and maybe a Vine or two), presented without comment. Enjoy.
Unsolicited Uterus Update: Kerry Washington Is Probably Pregnant
Unsolicited Uterus Update: Kerry Washington and her husband Nnamdi Asomugha are expecting their first child, says someone who is neither Kerry Washington nor Kerry Washington's rep.
Amid Religious Protests, Ke$ha De-Glitters, Cancels Malaysian Concert
Though it certainly isn't the first time
Beyoncé Is Totally Down With Doing a Haka Dance, Obviously Nails It
Beyoncé went to New Zealand for her tour and was greeted by her crew there with a haka, or "a traditional war dance meant to intimidate the opponent" that is also used to indicate "honor for a distinguished guest." She responded in a totally Beyoncé way, i.e. completely game and with only a smattering of surprise. "It's…
Awesome Beyoncé Superfan Dances Belatedly to 'Crazy in Love'
You've got to hand it Chris Koo — he's really got that hair flip down. And he's limber. It looks like his elbows are elastic, which also leads me to believe that Chris Koo is secretly Reed Richards. "Crazy in Love" is about a decade old, but that just makes this dance tribute more nostalgic and endearing.
Justin Bieber Touched a Stripper's Butt with His Wizard Fingers
Yesterday, we all learned that Justin Bieber isn't just an incredibly rich and expertly-coiffed pop star — he's also magic. How else can one explain the spell he cast over a Texas stripper when, during his Friday-night gamboling, he touched her on the butt?
The Woman Who Takes Those Beyoncé-Approved Photos Has Cancer
Earlier this year, Beyoncé got in some hot water when the full-degree of her control freakness
Justin Bieber Made His Bodyguards Carry Him Up the Great Wall of China
Gleeful elf king of Little Shit Kingdom Justin Bieber has just out-Biebered himself: the most devious imp to ever don a flat-rimmed baseball cap made his bodyguards carry him up the Great Wall of China. As an uncouth, wild-eyed barbarian who has been known to urinate upon images of other nation's former leaders,…
Zac Efron Passed Out From an Oxy Overdose and Some Jerk Sold the Pix
The totally reputable National Enquirer has reportedly obtained a shot of Zac Efron collapsed in the Thompson Hotel on January 3rd after an overdose of "hillbilly heroin" Oxy, obtained during a batshit night of drinking. Efron reportedly got the pills from the street and requested all party guests to buy forty for…
Miley Cyrus Fans Want To Rip Lorde's Brains Out For Winning at iTunes
Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old hag." Lorde …
Zac Efron Was in Rehab For Booze, Cocaine, Molly Or All Of The Above
Turnz out everyone's favorite shirtless chest Zac Efron did a stint in rehab five months ago, while filming the upcoming Seth Rogen comedy Neighbors. E! claims it was for drinking, while TMZ says it was molly and coke — and that earlier this year Efron and some friends went on a flop-sweaty rager and caused $50,000…
Frances Bean Cobain's New Friends Are Really Kinda Lifeless
In today's Tweet Beat, Questlove gives some major props to Beyoncé, Heidi Klum has found herself a new lady to love, and Frances Bean has an interesting reason behind her fascination with the fair city of London.
Education Expert Jaden Smith Urges Kids to Drop Out of School
Born-into-stupidly-rich-and-famous-circumstances Jaden Smith, 15-year-old student at the Scientology-based New Village Leadership Academy (founded by Will and Jada) and part-time Teen Philosopher, is all, "We Don't Need No Education."
Beyonce is a Silhouetted Goddess of Light and Shadow
[RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - SEPTEMBER 13: Singer Beyonce performs on stage during a concert in the Rock in Rio Festival on September 13, 2013 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. (Photo by Buda Mendes/Getty Images)]
Fashion Scavenger Hunt: Help Find Beyonce's Green High-Waisted Bikini
Welcome to Fashion Scavenger Hunt, a column to help you track down your favorite products — clothes, makeup, shoes, whatever — that have been discontinued or otherwise lost in the passage of time and quickie fashion trends. Email katie@jezebel.com to submit your own "wanted" ads.
Lamar Odom's Not in Rehab Despite $800-a-Day Coke Problem
Depending on what you are reading, Lamar Odom:
The Coney Island Cyclone was not fun for everyone when Beyoncé and Terry Richardson visited to shoot her new music video. Unbeknownst to the crew, a couple was trapped at the top of the ride for 30 minutes during pre-production. The woman dissolved into tears when they were finally let off. Free concert tickets should…
Poor Little Suri Cruise Mysteriously Broke Her Arm :|
Pint-sized FAO Schwartz mascot Suri Cruise broke her arm, a rep for Katie Holmes has confirmed to People without stating the cause of the injury.
Beyoncé Goes to Coney Island, Rides the Cyclone and Has a Dance-Off
Brooklyn, Her Highness has graced you with Her presence once again: Empress Beyoncé showed up in Coney Island yesterday to shoot a music video with the notorious rake Terry Richardson. Lo, let the merriment begin!
Lena Dunham Used to Look in the Mirror and Say 'I'm Just So Beautiful'
In a mega-glam cover interview, Lena Dunham told Marie Claire UK that she's confident about her body. U guise know that?