God Did Not Create Sex So You Could Be Anastasia Steele
In today's Tweet Beat, Lolo Jones knows why God does things, Naya Rivera has an interesting reading technique and Bette Midler considers a career change.
Parents Willing to Pay Heaps of Money to Clone Angelina Jolie
Want a baby to look exactly like Angelina Jolie? The star isn't going to be giving you any of hers anytime soon, but TMZ reports that desperate parents (desperate for their kids to look like Jolie, so rich desperate parents) are willing to pay thousands upon thousands per egg in order to get a little Lara Croft in…
Ariana Grande to Bette Midler: Don't Come For Me Unless I Send For You
It's the war of the Divas, everyone! With actual Diva Bette Midler and my brother's favorite singer Ariana Grande squaring off to engage in the worst blood feud known to Hollywood. My brother is going to be so, so pissed.
Bette Midler on Ariana Grande: Don't Make a Whore of Yourself
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The Divine Miss M is apparently not a fan of Ariana Grande.
Bette Midler and Jimmy Fallon Flipped Lips and Sang 'Baby It's You'
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Yesterday, Bette Midler stopped by The Tonight Show to chat with Jimmy Fallon about It's the Girls, her collection of girl-group covers. But first, the pair played a round of "Lip Flip," culminating in Midler's rendition of "Baby It's You," backed up by the Roots. It's really something!
Bette Midler's 'Waterfalls' Cover Will Send You Quietly Unto Death
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Hell yeah, Midler. Cue up those extremely soft bongos, put me in a nightgown, scatter my body with lilies and send me to the river to die.
Bette Midler Is Releasing an Album of Songs by Girl Groups
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Bette! It's like you've decided to take the best scene in movie history and replace your costars with yourself and then turn that into an album! What an idea!
Who Else Is Shipping Dara Torres and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Now?
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In today's Tweet Beat, Alec Baldwin sends out a heartfelt goodbye to Elaine Stritch, Bette Midler has a solution for this sad world and it seems like The Rock and Dara Torres are both unmarried so....
Madeleine Albright Was Following Team USA's Kicklomatic Relations
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In today's Tweet Beat, Seth Rogen is not pleased about Hobby Lobby, Bette Midler's hair has a lot of lives and Madeleine Albright watched the game.
No One Told Azealia Banks About the Nationwide Lime Shortage
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In today's Tweet Beat, Azealia Banks is displeased with her basic limes, you can find Bette Midler reading a book and Tyler the Creator spent his day terrorizing BuzzFeed.
If You Have a Foot Fetish, Chris O'Dowd Has Found the Store For You
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In today's Tweet Beat, Bette Midler suggests alternative to St. Patrick's Day, Jamie Lynn Spears celebrates Pi Day in a weird way and Chris O'Dowd gets intimate with feet.
Bette Midler Suggests a Healthy New Alternative to Silicone Implants
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In today's Tweet Beat, Frankie Muniz is a little late on the Coldplay train, Taylor Swift memes her own brother with her own song and Bette Midler has a creative idea.
John Stamos and Kevin Spacey Inadvertently Pitch a Brilliant New Show
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In today's Tweet Beat, Guy Fieri makes us ponder a world in which he and Matthew McConaughey are real brothers, Bette Midler is still recovering and John Stamos and Kevin Spacey could make magic together, if only they tried.
Amanda Bynes Gets 'Lifestyle Makeover'
Amanda Bynes spent a week at a fitness camp, where she paid several thousand dollars to lose five pounds. E! reports that Bynes was dropped off at camp by her parents and used the week there to give herself "a lifestyle makeover." It may be easy to snark on the fact that the article focuses mostly Bynes' quest to lose…
Bette Midler Is Your New Mae West
Everyone's favorite actress and regular star of Tweet Beat, Bette Midler, is joining an HBO movie in development about the life of Mae West, who would have been a regular star of Tweet Beat if Tweet Beat had existed during her time and who is definitely still everyone's favorite actress.
Exes Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato Love Each Other Like Brother and Sister
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In today's Tweet Beat, Bette Midler loves Cher as much as everyone else, Orlando Jones would be great on QVC and apparently Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato are starting this new trend where we refer to our ex-partners as "sis" and "brother."
Bette Midler Wants Charlie Hunnam as Her Christian Grey
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In today's Tweet Beat, Pete Wentz enjoyed Gravity, Khloe Kardashian (née Odom) is into #UnprettyMondays and Bette Midler is working on a conspiracy theory.
Your Morning Cry: Bette Midler Serenades Dying Fan
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Please just duct tape a handkerchief to your face, and then listen to this phone call between Bette Midler and superfan Anna Greenberg, who is dying in the hospital with cancer.
Amy Poehler Is Dating Nick Kroll, Much to Our Delight
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So THIS is The Best, Inc.: Amy Poehler has oh-so-quietly been dating fellow comedian Nick Kroll of The League and Best Week Ever. The two nommed on food at a restaurant on Sunset Boulevard, and "sources" (a busboy? a napkin ring? O'Brien from Downton Abbey?!?! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE) say that it wasn't the first date…
Happy Birthday, Bette Midler!
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In this edition of Tweet Beat, Bette Midler has been the wind beneath our wings for 67 years now, Aziz Ansari has new rules for the Game of Thrones cast, Pam Grier wears an orange fur coat and Pee Wee Herman continues to be the best person on Earth.