Three GOP Candidates Go Ahead and Pardon Their Own Turkeys Just for Practice 

In a move that some might read as “bad luck,” or “jinxing it,” Republican presidential candidates Carly Fiorina, Marco Rubio and Ben Carson attempted the absolute most important task of any United States president: pardoning the Thanksgiving turkey. None were particularly good at it, which is fine, because none of… »Wednesday 10:41am11/25/15 10:41am


Former Children's Doctor Ben Carson Compassionately Compares Refugees to Rabid Dogs

On Thursday, leading GOP presidential candidate and retired pediatric neurosurgeon Ben Carson compared scared children and parents seeking asylum in the United States to rabid dogs, which is not the kind of compassion I would expect a former pediatric neurosurgeon to have. »11/20/15 10:00am11/20/15 10:00am

Ben Carson Beats Donald Trump in Race to Top of New York Times Bestseller List

Presidential candidate and dusty barrel of fermented peepee Donald Trump is exclusively a Power Top in all aspects of life, which is why I’m sure he is devastated to learn that his prop book will debut below his opponent Ben Carson’s prop book on the New York Times bestseller list. »11/12/15 5:30pm11/12/15 5:30pm

How Did the Secret Service Choose Ben Carson's Awful Code Name?

Weeks after grousing that the Secret Service was refusing to protect him due to his Republicanism, both aggravated giant duckling Donald Trump and fellow front-runner Ben Carson have been assigned Secret Service security details. Someone needed to think through Ben Carson’s name just a touch longer. »11/10/15 6:10pm11/10/15 6:10pm

Ben Carson Admits That His Autobiography Isn't '100% Accurate,' But It's Close Enough 

It’s been a bad month for Ben Carson, and the month is only a few days old. First there were reports that a stabbing incident the candidate recalled in his autobiography, Gifted Hands, might be fabricated. Then there was Politico’s report that Carson lied about being offered a scholarship to West Point. And finally a … »11/08/15 1:30pm11/08/15 1:30pm

Hillary Clinton Successfully Continues Her 'I'm Chill' Tour at Kimmel

Last night, Hillary Clinton continued her tour on the late-night circuit when she made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. At this point, she’s become a familiar face, from appearances Stephen Colbert to Saturday Night Live, where she performs the most relatable iteration of herself.
»11/06/15 4:20pm11/06/15 4:20pm

Ben Carson Insists He Tried to Stab a Guy When He Was 14, Despite Mounting Evidence He's Lying

Best-case scenario: Ben Carson tried to stab someone. Alternate scenario: Ben Carson has been lying for years about trying to stab someone when he was 14, a kind of extreme knives-to-surgical-riches story that’s now falling apart when the gentlest breeze is blown upon it. »11/06/15 8:56am11/06/15 8:56am

GOP Candidates Demand Debates Where They're Not Asked All Those Mean Questions

In the wake of a CNBC debate where the moderators very rudely asked questions of the GOP presidential candidates, those candidates are yelling at the Republican National Committee en masse, demanding more control over the next debate and fewer “gotcha” questions. Also, presumably more questions about just how each… »11/02/15 10:14am11/02/15 10:14am

Poll: Whose Fault Is It that Ben Carson is Pulling Ahead of Donald Trump in the Polls? 

Neurosurgeon and man who’s so soft-spoken you almost don’t notice everything he says is bonkers Ben Carson is tip-toeing ahead of Donald Trump in at least one national poll. It’s the first time this election cycle anyone other than Trump has been in the lead on the Republican side. Who’s to blame for this? »10/27/15 11:01am10/27/15 11:01am