Protesters Want 'World's Saddest Polar Bear' Moved From Argentina Zoo

Arturo, the only remaining polar bear in the Mendoza Zoo outside of Buenos Aires, has been dubbed the "world's saddest polar bear" by animal rights activists, and for good reason. (If there is a sadder polar bear out there, then I'm pretty sure that we have no way of being sure that our earth isn't a terrible… » 7/14/14 6:15pm 7/14/14 6:15pm

Government Shutdown Might Kill An Adorable Panda... Cam

One potential casualty of the looming (constitutionally mandated that I use the word "looming" in reference to government shutdown- Article 12, Section 6, HISTORY: LEARN IT) government shutdown isn't the jobs of hundreds of thousands of federal employees or even my sanity, after having to listen to the yammering of… » 9/30/13 6:40pm 9/30/13 6:40pm

Fossilized Bear Penis Bones Solve Eternal Mystery of Ancient Bear Sex

If you possess even a glimmer of innate curiosity and reverence for the natural world, you likely spend a lot of time wondering what sex was like for prehistoric bears. "Yes, I know modern bear intercourse looks like," you probably think as you futilely court sleep in the wan hours before dawn, "But what about those… » 9/26/13 11:10am 9/26/13 11:10am

How to Calm Down an Angry Woman and/or Bear

This terribly helpful Men's Health article "How to Calm Down an Angry Woman" (ladies be crazyyy), reminded us of a nature guidebook; if you replace the word "woman" with "bear," it could be really helpful on your next camping trip! So in an effort to help Men's Health more clearly make their point, we made some minor… » 8/24/12 1:30pm 8/24/12 1:30pm

Other Things Todd Akin Learned 'From Talking to Doctors'

As we're all well aware by now, Rep. Todd Akin—Missouri republican and fucking genius—learned "from talking to doctors" that ladies' uteruses are literally roach motels for rape-sperms. Wow, a person really can learn a lot of stuff from talking to doctors! Check out this fledgling tumblr, which takes a look at some of… » 8/20/12 7:45pm 8/20/12 7:45pm

Genius Black Bear Cures Chocolate Cravings With a Little Breaking and…

After finding an out-of-place chocolate tin and a little bit of dirt on the store's countertop, Jo Adams, owner of a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory franchise in Estes Park, Colorado, suspected that a squirrel had managed to get into her shop overnight. Upon viewing the security footage, however, Jo discovered that… » 8/08/12 12:10pm 8/08/12 12:10pm