Protesters Want 'World's Saddest Polar Bear' Moved From Argentina Zoo

Arturo, the only remaining polar bear in the Mendoza Zoo outside of Buenos Aires, has been dubbed the "world's saddest polar bear" by animal rights activists, and for good reason. (If there is a sadder polar bear out there, then I'm pretty sure that we have no way of being sure that our earth isn't a terrible… » 7/14/14 6:15pm 7/14/14 6:15pm

Women Attacked by Moose and Bear -- Animals Are Rising Up Against Us

WATCH OUT FOR WILD ANIMALS. THE WILD ANIMALS HAVE GONE WILD. Just this past Sunday, three women were (non-fatally) savaged by enormous beasts—two women by a moose in Colorado, and a third by a bear in Alaska. » 5/20/14 6:05pm 5/20/14 6:05pm

Mother Sloth Bear Has Her Baby Taken Away After She Eats Her First Two

Sloth bears are typically praised in the human community for their slow-moving nature and weird long claws. But one mother sloth bear is ruining that good will and pushing the limits of human patience by eating her own sloth bear babies. » 3/21/14 11:40am 3/21/14 11:40am

Government Shutdown Might Kill An Adorable Panda... Cam

One potential casualty of the looming (constitutionally mandated that I use the word "looming" in reference to government shutdown- Article 12, Section 6, HISTORY: LEARN IT) government shutdown isn't the jobs of hundreds of thousands of federal employees or even my sanity, after having to listen to the yammering of… » 9/30/13 6:40pm 9/30/13 6:40pm

Fossilized Bear Penis Bones Solve Eternal Mystery of Ancient Bear Sex

If you possess even a glimmer of innate curiosity and reverence for the natural world, you likely spend a lot of time wondering what sex was like for prehistoric bears. "Yes, I know modern bear intercourse looks like," you probably think as you futilely court sleep in the wan hours before dawn, "But what about those… » 9/26/13 11:10am 9/26/13 11:10am

Wildlife Camera Captures Bear Party That You Wish You'd Been Invited To

These bears, man. Just get a load of these bears—each one perfectly inhabiting the happy-go-lucky persona that has been fleshed out for it by countless Disney movies and children's cartoons. » 7/29/13 5:55pm 7/29/13 5:55pm

Real-Life Pooh Bear Gets Greedy Face Stuck in Jar, Nearly Dies

An adorably gluttonous bear youth was rescued in central Pennsylvania by four residents armed only with a rope, flashlights, and visions of Winnie the Pooh pawing frantically at the honeypot stuck on his head. » 6/16/13 2:30pm 6/16/13 2:30pm

Let These Black Bear Cubs Playing On Rope Swings Remind You What…

Now that we can all rest easily knowing that in a few years, these bears, in fact, will not follow and maul any ladies who choose to go camping while on their menses, we are free to enjoy this adorable frolic with a clear mind. » 9/15/12 12:00pm 9/15/12 12:00pm

How to Calm Down an Angry Woman and/or Bear

This terribly helpful Men's Health article "How to Calm Down an Angry Woman" (ladies be crazyyy), reminded us of a nature guidebook; if you replace the word "woman" with "bear," it could be really helpful on your next camping trip! So in an effort to help Men's Health more clearly make their point, we made some minor… » 8/24/12 1:30pm 8/24/12 1:30pm

Other Things Todd Akin Learned 'From Talking to Doctors'

As we're all well aware by now, Rep. Todd Akin—Missouri republican and fucking genius—learned "from talking to doctors" that ladies' uteruses are literally roach motels for rape-sperms. Wow, a person really can learn a lot of stuff from talking to doctors! Check out this fledgling tumblr, which takes a look at some… » 8/20/12 7:45pm 8/20/12 7:45pm

Genius Black Bear Cures Chocolate Cravings With a Little Breaking and…

After finding an out-of-place chocolate tin and a little bit of dirt on the store's countertop, Jo Adams, owner of a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory franchise in Estes Park, Colorado, suspected that a squirrel had managed to get into her shop overnight. Upon viewing the security footage, however, Jo discovered that… » 8/08/12 12:10pm 8/08/12 12:10pm

Auntie Ursa Enjoys One of Her Artisanal Popsicles

A Syrian brown bear eats an ice block of frozen fruits, vegetables and fish to cool off from the heat at the Ramat Gan Safari near Tel Aviv, Israel, Thursday, July 12, 2012. Temperatures in Tel Aviv reached as high as 34 Celsius (93.2 Fahrenheit). (AP Photo/Ariel Schalit) » 7/16/12 9:45pm 7/16/12 9:45pm

So Will Periods Attract Bears or What?

It's camping season for those of us who are gluttons for punishment and bug bites. But during your foray into a recreational rural transient lifestyle, how do you know you're safe? How do you know that your dripping vagina isn't attracting deadly wildlife? » 7/11/12 3:15pm 7/11/12 3:15pm