Yay Summer: U.S. Beaches Are Disgusting and Too Much TV Will Kill You

Summer has officially arrived, and with it, the usual sweltering humidity — as well as the news that your local beach may be a health hazard. » 6/26/14 1:00pm 6/26/14 1:00pm

Creepy Dudes Photographing Women on the Beach Is Worst Trend Ever

Is your body bikini creepshot ready? Because it's Strange Dudes You Don't Know Taking Pictures Of You In a Bikini Season! » 6/04/14 2:00pm 6/04/14 2:00pm

Yes, the Tide Will Wash Away Even This Remarkable Kool-Aid Sand Man

Sand sculpture artist Morgan Rudluff, from Santa Cruz, Calif., carves a Kool-Aid Man design at the 81st Annual Great Sand Sculpture Contest, Saturday, Aug. 10, 2013, in Long Beach, Calif. (Rene Macura/AP Images for Kool-Aid) » 8/11/13 6:00pm 8/11/13 6:00pm

Prudent Dog Rightly Fears What Lies in the Fathomless Deep

TOYOOKA, JAPAN - AUGUST 04: A woman pulls her pet dog in the water at Takeno Beach on August 4, 2013 in Toyooka, Japan. This beach is open for dogs and their owners every summer between the months of June and September. (Photo by Buddhika Weerasinghe/Getty Images) » 8/04/13 3:30pm 8/04/13 3:30pm

How’s Your Summer of Mass Dolphin Deaths Been So Far?

Hey there, Eastern-seaboard beach-goers! Been enjoying your summer of cold beer, casual sex, outdoor music festivals, ice cream dinners, and mysterious dolphin carcasses? Of course you haven’t — who can enjoy ice cream dinners with so many rotting dolphin carcasses lining our beaches, fouling up the air and… » 8/04/13 3:00pm 8/04/13 3:00pm

Something About This Giant Stuffed Monkey Screams, 'Fun in the Sun'

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ - MAY 27: Nicole Zupp carries a huge stuffed monkey on the boardwalk on the first weekend of Jersey Shore beaches re-opening to the public on May 27, 2013 in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. The region continues to recover and rebuild after Hurricane Sandy devastated parts of the coastline. (Photo by… » 5/27/13 10:00pm 5/27/13 10:00pm

Man and His Dog Find Ambergris, Which We Must All Remember Is Not the…

Ambergris, that versatile sperm whale excretion that Herman Melville wrote so prodigiously about when the ocean was just a Dave & Buster's for murdering sperm whales, can be a pretty valuable beachcombing find, way more valuable than a mostly intact conch shell, horseshoe crab, or buffalo nickel. Just ask unemployed… » 2/02/13 1:30pm 2/02/13 1:30pm

France’s First Lady Wins Suit Against French Celebrity Magazine for…

France's brand-new first lady and well-known journalist Valérie Trierweiler recently won damages of 2,000 euros from the French celebrity weekly VSD for breaching her privacy and image rights by publishing a cover photo of her sunbathing, building sandcastle scale models of the Châtaeu d'If, bodyboarding, and whatever… » 9/05/12 10:25pm 9/05/12 10:25pm

Christmas in July

Cathe Moritz of Princeton Junction, N.J., works on a sand sculpture during the 26th Annual New Jersey Sandcastle Contest at the 18th Avenue Beach in Belmar, N.J., Wednesday, July, 18, 2012. (AP Photo/Mel Evans) » 7/18/12 9:45pm 7/18/12 9:45pm

Mitt and Ann Romney Enjoy a Long, Patriotic Walk on the Beach

Republican presidential candidate, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, left, takes a walk with his wife Ann, on the beach after a campaign stop at Holland State Park on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 in Holland, Mich. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci) » 6/19/12 10:30pm 6/19/12 10:30pm

Fuck You, Cheryl Burke

[We have ANOTHER fucking Snowpocalypse here, and you are all pretty and happy in your glorious watermelon bikini, damn you. Just look at the color of the water! FUCK. Dominican Republic, January 20. Images via Pacific Coast News Online.] » 2/01/11 12:28pm 2/01/11 12:28pm

New York Post Cruelly Mocks Non-Famous Older Lady

It's pretty fucked up to compare former Playboy Playmate Victoria Silvstedt to an innocent gray-haired lady who just happened to be nearby, and call the lady, who is probably someone's grandma, "lumpy." Nice job, New York Post. » 1/07/11 4:14pm 1/07/11 4:14pm

Australia Now Just Rubbing It In Our Faces

Sydney, December 25: English tourist Mark Meagher, center, dives to hit a volleyball to his mates while celebrating Christmas Day at Bondi beach. Stupid jerks with their sunshine and their relaxation. (Image via AP) » 12/26/10 10:55am 12/26/10 10:55am

A Day At The Beach With Coco And Ice-T

In New York right now, it is 53°, overcast and drizzly. But in Miami Beach, the high is 85°, and Coco Austin (along with husband Ice-T) is soaking up the rays with a sunny attitude! » 10/04/10 7:12pm 10/04/10 7:12pm