The rise of AirBnB—and the existence of Airpnp, which allows you to tap-tap-tap on your tiny computer telephones and find a friendly bathroom in which to take a whiz when no acceptable public option is available—makes necessary a conversation about what amenities a bathroom should feature, and what constitutes a… » 4/10/14 12:29pm 4/10/14 12:29pm

Let's talk about bathrooms. Let's talk about the transgender experience with bathrooms. Let's talk about my experiences with bathrooms. Let's talk about how what I need, and what I feel other trans people need, is often actually ignored in the sensational debate over all-gender bathrooms/mixed gender bathrooms, or… » 3/17/14 10:58pm 3/17/14 10:58pm

This isn't to shit all over MFA students — they get quite enough of that already, both from snarky real-talkers in the Wall Street Journal weekend section and life — but perhaps the best an aspiring writer can hope for in this brave new media landscape tilled by Google adbots and fertilized with diploma paper is a gig… » 11/17/13 3:30pm 11/17/13 3:30pm

I am never getting out the bath ever again. I will shrivel up into a prune and then you can feed my shrunken corpse (via VitaMix'ed smoothie?) to Mark Ruffalo so that I might, just once, know him intimately. » 11/04/13 9:30am 11/04/13 9:30am

Have you ever gotten good advice while dropping a deuce at a dive bar? Have you ever pondered "Who is Luis, and why won't he call Terry?" and then scribbled "Fuck him, girl!" as a helpful reply? If you're a poet who practices while emptying your bowels into a toilet that hasn't been cleaned since the 60s — or if… » 7/10/13 9:30pm 7/10/13 9:30pm

It seems silly that we’re about to have this conversation, but people really need to start washing their hands. Like, right the fuck now. Oh, what’s that? You already wash your hands thoroughly after each bathroom visit, scrubbing with soap until you create a nice lather, and then rinsing under warm water? LIAR! » 6/22/13 2:30pm 6/22/13 2:30pm

When the Navy announced last week that, come 2015, it would be getting rid of urinals on all future Gerald R. Ford class aircraft carriers in an effort to make the ships more "gender-neutral," it might not have known that it was tearing a hole in the universe. Critics bemoaning political correctness and icky toilet… » 7/16/12 9:15pm 7/16/12 9:15pm

A transexual woman was cited for "disorderly conduct" for using the women's restroom at a Dallas-area hospital, even though she offered to show the officer medical documentation and there was no one in the bathroom for her to be "disorderly" with. » 5/02/12 10:40am 5/02/12 10:40am

My first kiss was in a public bathroom. It was a seventh grade dance. Snoop Dogg was blasting from the six foot high speakers where kids were grinding up against the walls of the cafeteria. Some sixth graders shouted "Ew, gross!" as I pulled this dude-bro I had been dancing with into the little boys room and stuck my… » 3/12/12 5:30pm 3/12/12 5:30pm

Mary has been living in filth for longer than her family can remember, and while they knew the conditions of her home were bad, they didn't know to what extent until the Hoarders cameras—along with a therapist—bravely entered the dwelling in hazmat suits. An owner of 15 cats, the house is literally covered in not… » 1/17/12 2:35pm 1/17/12 2:35pm

Many Starbucks in New York are converting their public restrooms into employees-only facilities, because the public ones create long lines and are a hassle to clean. While it's hard to fault Starbucks for its unwillingness to "be the public bathroom in the city," we'll also mourn the disappearance of one of the few… » 11/16/11 12:15pm 11/16/11 12:15pm

If you're walking the streets of Chicago and find yourself in need of a toilet, don't resort to relieving yourself in the nearest Starbucks restroom. If you walk a few more blocks to the Field Museum, you'll find yourself in a bathroom utopia, which the Chicago Tribune describes thusly: » 10/21/11 1:20pm 10/21/11 1:20pm

Women: don't you sometimes just want to pee in their mouths? » 9/18/11 11:46am 9/18/11 11:46am