This isn't to shit all over MFA students — they get quite enough of that already, both from snarky real-talkers in the Wall Street Journal weekend section and life — but perhaps the best an aspiring writer can hope for in this brave new media landscape tilled by Google adbots and fertilized with diploma paper is a gig…
According to Homes and Hues, this decadent shower was designed by Sieger Design, with interior design by Scienbein + Pier, and it includes six separate shower heads that produce six different "water bars" over a reclining space. Oh temptress, thy name is six separate shower heads that produce six different "water bars"…
I am never getting out the bath ever again. I will shrivel up into a prune and then you can feed my shrunken corpse (via VitaMix'ed smoothie?) to Mark Ruffalo so that I might, just once, know him intimately.
Have you ever gotten good advice while dropping a deuce at a dive bar? Have you ever pondered "Who is Luis, and why won't he call Terry?" and then scribbled "Fuck him, girl!" as a helpful reply? If you're a poet who practices while emptying your bowels into a toilet that hasn't been cleaned since the 60s — or if you're the …
It seems silly that we’re about to have this conversation, but people really need to start washing their hands. Like, right the fuck now. Oh, what’s that? You already wash your hands thoroughly after each bathroom visit, scrubbing with soap until you create a nice lather, and then rinsing under warm water? LIAR!
Don't you just love modern conveniences? Drunken nights and certain New York neighborhoods aside, for the most part, we have progressed past pissing and shitting in the street. The toilet and the sewer system! A thing of beauty. Neat, quick, clean disposal of the excrement and detritus human existence is plagued by. If …
When the Navy announced last week that, come 2015, it would be getting rid of urinals on all future Gerald R. Ford class aircraft carriers in an effort to make the ships more "gender-neutral," it might not have known that it was tearing a hole in the universe. Critics bemoaning political correctness and icky toilet seats …
A transexual woman was cited for "disorderly conduct" for using the women's restroom at a Dallas-area hospital, even though she offered to show the officer medical documentation and there was no one in the bathroom for her to be "disorderly" with.
My first kiss was in a public bathroom. It was a seventh grade dance. Snoop Dogg was blasting from the six foot high speakers where kids were grinding up against the walls of the cafeteria. Some sixth graders shouted "Ew, gross!" as I pulled this dude-bro I had been dancing with into the little boys room and stuck my…
Mary has been living in filth for longer than her family can remember, and while they knew the conditions of her home were bad, they didn't know to what extent until the Hoarders cameras—along with a therapist—bravely entered the dwelling in hazmat suits. An owner of 15 cats, the house is literally covered in not only …
Many Starbucks in New York are converting their public restrooms into employees-only facilities, because the public ones create long lines and are a hassle to clean. While it's hard to fault Starbucks for its unwillingness to "be the public bathroom in the city," we'll also mourn the disappearance of one of the few…
If you're walking the streets of Chicago and find yourself in need of a toilet, don't resort to relieving yourself in the nearest Starbucks restroom. If you walk a few more blocks to the Field Museum, you'll find yourself in a bathroom utopia, which the Chicago Tribune describes thusly:
Women: don't you sometimes just want to pee in their mouths?
"I want to be as ubiquitous as toilet paper," Rob Bobinski recently told me. He's not talking about himself — he's talking about YouGoGirl, an in-toilet product he invented for women who are afraid of others smelling their poop.
Everyone's had a traumatic not-at-home toilet situation; not having a home field advantage when things get dire can really scar a person. While MacGyvering one's way out of a toilet emergency is not ideal, occasionally it's the only way to avoid certain traumatic disaster.
The other night, the most disgusting thing that has ever befallen me in a bathroom happened.
Students at a Manhattan high school staged a riot when their bathroom privileges were taken away. We can't say we totally blame them.
Next week, DC-area Starbucks locations will replace all their "men's" and "women's" bathroom signs with gender-neutral ones. The move is a big step for trans rights, and more businesses should follow Starbucks's example.
On average, women take twice as long to get in and out of public restrooms. And many places still don't have adequate facilities for women. Is this simply an inconvenience, or a sign of a greater problem?
Men have long wondered what women do in public restrooms (besides the obvious). Sure, we gossip — but that's not all that happens in these feminine lairs.
