This isn't to shit all over MFA students — they get quite enough of that already, both from snarky real-talkers in the Wall Street Journal weekend section and life — but perhaps the best an aspiring writer can hope for in this brave new media landscape tilled by Google adbots and fertilized with diploma paper is a gig… Read… 11/17/13 3:30pm 11/17/13 3:30pm

I am never getting out the bath ever again. I will shrivel up into a prune and then you can feed my shrunken corpse (via VitaMix'ed smoothie?) to Mark Ruffalo so that I might, just once, know him intimately. Read… 11/04/13 9:30am 11/04/13 9:30am

Have you ever gotten good advice while dropping a deuce at a dive bar? Have you ever pondered "Who is Luis, and why won't he call Terry?" and then scribbled "Fuck him, girl!" as a helpful reply? If you're a poet who practices while emptying your bowels into a toilet that hasn't been cleaned since the 60s — or if you're… Read… 7/10/13 9:30pm 7/10/13 9:30pm

When the Navy announced last week that, come 2015, it would be getting rid of urinals on all future Gerald R. Ford class aircraft carriers in an effort to make the ships more "gender-neutral," it might not have known that it was tearing a hole in the universe. Critics bemoaning political correctness and icky toilet seats … Read… 7/16/12 9:15pm 7/16/12 9:15pm

My first kiss was in a public bathroom. It was a seventh grade dance. Snoop Dogg was blasting from the six foot high speakers where kids were grinding up against the walls of the cafeteria. Some sixth graders shouted "Ew, gross!" as I pulled this dude-bro I had been dancing with into the little boys room and stuck my… Read… 3/12/12 5:30pm 3/12/12 5:30pm

Mary has been living in filth for longer than her family can remember, and while they knew the conditions of her home were bad, they didn't know to what extent until the Hoarders cameras—along with a therapist—bravely entered the dwelling in hazmat suits. An owner of 15 cats, the house is literally covered in not… Discuss… 1/17/12 2:35pm 1/17/12 2:35pm

Many Starbucks in New York are converting their public restrooms into employees-only facilities, because the public ones create long lines and are a hassle to clean. While it's hard to fault Starbucks for its unwillingness to "be the public bathroom in the city," we'll also mourn the disappearance of one of the few… Discuss… 11/16/11 12:15pm 11/16/11 12:15pm

If you're walking the streets of Chicago and find yourself in need of a toilet, don't resort to relieving yourself in the nearest Starbucks restroom. If you walk a few more blocks to the Field Museum, you'll find yourself in a bathroom utopia, which the Chicago Tribune describes thusly: Read… 10/21/11 1:20pm 10/21/11 1:20pm

Students at a Manhattan high school staged a riot when their bathroom privileges were taken away. We can't say we totally blame them. Read… 12/10/10 7:15pm 12/10/10 7:15pm

Next week, DC-area Starbucks locations will replace all their "men's" and "women's" bathroom signs with gender-neutral ones. The move is a big step for trans rights, and more businesses should follow Starbucks's example. Read… 10/01/10 4:26pm 10/01/10 4:26pm

Men have long wondered what women do in public restrooms (besides the obvious). Sure, we gossip — but that's not all that happens in these feminine lairs. Read… 7/07/10 5:24pm 7/07/10 5:24pm

Congress is poised to pass a bill that will mandate a 1-to-1 ratio for men's and women's toilets (including urinals) in new federal buildings. Now include movie theaters, and we'll really wet our pants (zing!). [ABC News via Broadsheet] Discuss… 3/19/10 5:30pm 3/19/10 5:30pm

A student at Green Mountain College is suing the school because her dorm had only coed bathrooms — which reminds me of the year I showered with dudes. Read… 12/21/09 5:00pm 12/21/09 5:00pm

• What do you do when you find a skunk stuck in a jar of peanut butter? Call the Skunk Whisperer, obviously! Here is a video of him rescuing the hapless animal from his nutty prison. • Read… 10/15/09 5:40pm 10/15/09 5:40pm