Via Glamour, we learn that Gwyneth Paltrow has confessed her greatest culinary mishap (so she says; this may be a false flag covering the tracks of an apocryphal formal gala dinner she once threw for 400 people who were all allergic to vegan and died) to Rachael Ray. The story is simple and harrowing: she made a meal…

Twenty-one former Mars Hill Church employees have lodged charges against Senior Pastor (and church founder) Mark Driscoll, saying that he "engaged in a pattern of abusive and intimidating conduct and that he has not changed his domineering behavior."

You might remember swaggering, misogynist evangedouche/human Affliction tee Mark Driscoll from being terrible on Glenn Beck, being terrible on Fox and Friends, or being terrible any time he does anything ever, which is all the time. But he's really ramped up the action in the last month or so! It seems like dude can't…

Sorry in advance if you were planning on eating food today, but I've got some bad news. LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS FULL OF POISON AND/OR FECES. Your food is trying to kill you. "But Lindy," you might say, "Not eating the food will surely kill me as well. It is known as starvation, and it's really bad for you." To which I…

Did you know it's possible to make the concept of promise rings even more gross? I would have thought, "No, a father giving his daughter a fake wedding ring to remind her that he — well, he and Jesus — are the most important men in her life so she better not even think about fooling around with anybody else is about…

Is it just me, or is the phrase "controversial slaughterhouse" the most terrifying combination of words in the English language? Can we get that on the books somehow? It's impressive, really.

Today in [Honey Boo Boo dry-heaving gif], it turns out that delicious lamb gyro you're eating might actually be ground-up, dyed rat butts sculpted into lamblike meat-shapes! Eat up! If you're in eastern China, that is, and you're in the habit of purchasing very, very tiny pieces of "mutton" from meat-smuggling…

If you're finally ready to put a ring on the special skin-suit cannibal king in your life, Icelandic artist Sruli Recht has you covered. Recht hired a plastic surgeon to flay a flap of hairy, living skin from his abdomen, which he then tanned and wrapped around an elegant golden ring (the video above includes…

Scientists seeking to understand the spread of norovirus (a contagion that causes vomiting and diarrhea and spreads via contaminated surfaces) have developed a projectile-vomiting robot to accurately model the splashing of human barf. His name is Vomiting Larry, and he is your new hero:

If an alien archaeologist were to drop to earth after the utter obliteration of the human race and try to piece our culture together based solely on Borscht Belt stand-up routines, first of all, that would be AMAZING and someone should start a tumblr (not me, I'm tired). And second of all, he (or she! In space even …

Meet the "Inflatable King Dong Penis Costume BLACK"—because if you're going to go wander the streets dressed as a vulgar caricature of a black person's genitalia, you might as well throw in a little blackface too. Nice work, bros.

You guys. I am so, so sorry in advance about the information I am about to present to you. But, I mean, do you expect me to just process it alone? All by myself? What of the social contract!?!?

No amount of heavy duty feminism can alleviate the fact that when it comes to child creation, all a guy really must do is not ride a bike too much, ejaculate successfully into a fertile vagina, and then maybe hand out cigars. Meanwhile, the woman spends nine months growing a tiny, helpless proto-human inside her…

[Cannes, May 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

The Daily Beast's "Melissa Beech" thought that when she wrote about her Sugar Daddy, the blogosphere would be supportive over her Louboutin lifestyle "that would be the envy of any young woman who enjoys life."

The August issue of Harper's Bazaar has a feature on Elizabeth Wiatt and Jamie Tisch and their "concept store," Fashionology L.A. Elizabeth, 41, is the wife of Jim Wiatt, CEO of the William Morris Agency. She's also on the board of the Natural Resources Defense Council. She is described as a "brainy beauty," maybe…