Seinfeld Poppyseed Bagel Plot Plays Out in Real Life

In 2010, Elizabeth Mort's newborn baby was taken from her and placed in foster care after she tested positive for a tiny amount of opium metabolite in her blood. It turns out, though, that the test result was a false positive caused by a poppyseed bagel she ate shortly before going into labor, which is similar to… » 11/16/12 3:00pm 11/16/12 3:00pm

School Teacher Allegedly Forced 5-Year-Old Girl to Eat Garbage

When a 5-year-old student at a New Jersey elementary school threw away her uneaten bagel, one enterprising teacher took matters into her own hands. Now, back in my day, the punishment for not eating your food was not getting to have any fucking food. But, clearly, this particular teacher is a special snowflake with… » 10/17/12 10:50am 10/17/12 10:50am

The Latest Beauty Trend: Bagel Head

With tattoos, piercings, and implants being practically passe at this point, the newest trend in body modification is "bagel head," in which a person looks as though a bagel is sitting on their forehead beneath their skin. The process uses a saline injection to form a swollen ball. A finger is then pressed into the… » 9/24/12 11:15am 9/24/12 11:15am