Domino's Unleashes the Most Terrifying Print Ad in History

What's a pizza company to do if they want to get in on that sweet 50 Shades of Grey cash cow action, but have absolutely no promo connection to the infamous amalgam of Freaky Friend Fiction word snippets masquerading as dialogue? How about an ad referencing BDSM? OK, great, but even better: how about an ad that… » 1/27/15 10:01pm Tuesday 10:01pm

Target Now Sells Fifty Shades Cock Rings Next to Kids' Toothbrushes 

Target knows you're a busy parent on the go, so when it comes to shopping, you don't want to waste your time going from aisle to aisle to collect your kid's toothbrushes, mouthwash and Fifty Shades of Grey marital aids. That's why they put all of your needs into one place. They're always thinking of you. » 1/16/15 5:40pm 1/16/15 5:40pm

Ugh to This LOFT Ad About Frantically Binge-Exercising in Saran Wrap 

Yeah, yeah, we all had a lot of cookies this past month and now maybe your clothes don't fit right. Or maybe they do. Or maybe you don't give a fuck? Whatever the case, January is always a big month for "Feel bad about yourself you ugly cow"-style advertising. Clothing retailer LOFT just added another one on the pile,… » 1/09/15 4:50pm 1/09/15 4:50pm

South Dakota Removes Ads Demanding Drivers Stop Jerking It

In a move that surprised many people who enjoy a good joke about masturbation, South Dakota has decided that their plan to ensure safe driving while employing puns about touching oneself all over until orgasm were ill-advised. No one knows how they even came up with the idea, but I assume some ingenious advertising… » 12/15/14 9:30pm 12/15/14 9:30pm

Scott Walker's Equal Pay Ad Forgets He Repealed That Shit 2 Years Ago

In this ad for Scott Walker against Mary Burke, Lieutenant Governor and former professional TV news talking head Rebecca Kleefisch expresses her concern about all these elaborate claims that Walker made it harder for women to fight against workplace discrimination. That's kind of weird, because THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE… » 11/04/14 2:10pm 11/04/14 2:10pm

Haters, Gather 'Round: Let's All Hate On the New McDonald's Tagline

McDonalds is in a bit of a pickle. It seems that people aren't trying to get their Big Mac on quite like they used to. Profits are declining while Americans stuff themselves with Chipotle burritos. What is the largest hamburger fast food chain on Earth to do? They could focus on improving their product or perhaps… » 10/28/14 5:15pm 10/28/14 5:15pm

Subway Reminds Women to Stay Thin For Slutty Halloween Costumes

Hey ladaaays, because you've got your priorities straight, I know you've already got your Slutoween costumes on deck because Halloween is the only night of the year where it's acceptable for the ladyfolk to show some skin. But how's that body looking? Is it banging enough? Luckily Subway is here to help ensure that… » 10/02/14 3:20pm 10/02/14 3:20pm

According to Advertising, the 1950s Woman Wanted to Fuck Her Appliances

It was the salad baby-booming post-WWII days of this great country, when men were men and women were wives. Obedient wives. Obedient wives with sparkling dishware, spotless clothing that smelt of the ocean, perfectly organized spice racks, and tightly sealed leftovers. Obedient wives who put on their shiniest pair of… » 9/10/14 6:00pm 9/10/14 6:00pm

Kmart Wants to Get Away with Running a Christmas Ad in September

"This is not a Christmas commercial. However, let's say you have an event in late December that you need a lot of gifts for. Like, maybe your entire family is having a birthday on the same day. Now's the time to go to Kmart and put those gifts on layaway," says the actress playing a Kmart employee in the retailer's… » 9/05/14 4:10pm 9/05/14 4:10pm

​Russian Bank Will Send a Cat To Your House if You Sign a Mortgage

One of Russia's largest banks has caught onto the global phenomenon (soon to be dictatorship) that is cats. In a new marketing scheme, Moscow-based Sberbank promises to send a cat over to your house for a couple hours if you sign a mortgage with them. That's right. They'll lend you some money, and then they'll lend… » 8/31/14 3:36pm 8/31/14 3:36pm