This Milk Commercial Is the Most Pornographic Jizz-Fest I've Ever Seen

So, I was just bopping through my typical morning routine today, hate-reading the Daily Mail and watching Corey Feldman interviews on YouTube (yikes, don't hold back, Wendy Williams!), when an auto-play pop-up ad overwhelmed my screen. It was a commercial for milk—part of their new campaign, "Milk Life"—encouraging… » 4/21/14 4:30pm Monday 4:30pm

Bourbon Ad Aired During Mad Men Last Night Was Dumb, Sexist

When I see a man drinking bourbon, I expect him to be the sort of man who likes to drink bourbon. I guess I could project some kind of cartoonishly rugged masculinity onto him — like the ability to build a bookshelf from scratch without math and picture myself watching adoringly/helplessly while he does so. But since… » 4/14/14 5:15pm 4/14/14 5:15pm

Dove's Latest Commercial Is Their Most Bullshit Yet

Dove has moved their marketing strategy away from merely using "Real Women" as models and towards manipulating "Real Women" as part of totally unscientific experiments that prove nothing. The latest iteration of this project is Dove Patches, a patch for your arm full of a magic substance that makes you feel more beautiful. » 4/09/14 11:20am 4/09/14 11:20am

American Apparel Uses Breasts to Promote Fair Labor Practices

American Apparel shows off yet another nearly naked woman, this time in the name of fair labor practices. Because boobs and decent pay for a day's work are completely corollary. (Excuse me while I check my breasts and look for a paycheck to fall from the sky.) The company's newest ad features an actual employee named… » 3/07/14 5:00pm 3/07/14 5:00pm

Behold the Glorious Winners of the Product Placement Awards

Are you experiencing Award Season Withdrawal? (It's a real thing; I don't care what my stupid doctor says.) Jonesing for another round of guessing who is or isn't going to be a big winner, but sick of seeing all those gosh darned movie stars showing off all their fancy attire? Then do we have something for you—the 2014 … » 3/06/14 10:20am 3/06/14 10:20am

New Diet Coke Slogan Is About Drugs, Say Cool People Who Are Not Narcs

Apparently, Diet Coke's new ad campaign: "You're on!" is drawing fire for being a terribly irresponsible and naughty DRUG REFERENCE FOR DRUGGIES. Sometimes the billboards say, "Diet Coke. You're on." And sometimes they say, "You're on. Diet Coke." But either way, they're clearly talking about your brain being on something » 3/04/14 5:00pm 3/04/14 5:00pm